Struggling to eat - TW light substance talk
I (16f) just got disgnosed w gastroparesis last month. I also suffer from Endo, pcos, AUDHD and BPD. All of my previous safe foods absolutely wreck my stomach and any of the safe foods for my gastroparesis are an absolute sensory nightmare and make me wanna throw up as soon as it touches the back of my throat or fills my mouth with the texture, it just gets so overwhelming and unpleasant and I get so nauseous. Some times I’ve even thrown up just trying to eat safe foods, but even if I don’t it’s still hell. I’m losing weight like crazy, I’ve lost ten pounds just in two weeks. Who knows how much since symptoms started. I don’t eat more than a snack a day or maybe a meal if I’m brave and I just chug water when my stomach hurts because my dad never gets food I can eat comfortably. He has gastroparesis too so the house is full of safe foods for him, but nothing is sensory friendly enough for me. I really don’t want to bother him with it because he’s already a single dad to three kids, two of which are disabled. And on top of that he’s a medically retired veteran. We don’t have the money for me to be this picky but I genuinely can’t help it. I’m so hungry all of the time it hurts but the thought of eating anything I have that’s good for my stomach with this condition is just about worse than the pain. It’s so much easier to just lie here and let it consume me. I’m so tired of the pain, I already had enough on my plate and then this started happening. I can’t even take my mental health meds right now because they affect my appetite and make me flare more so I have to wait till this gets figured out cause it’s so new. All I do that helps at this point is take dicyclomine, hydrocodone, and zofran religiously and smoke my lungs out. Yes, I know, not healthy, smoking underage is illegal, but I’m completely cornered here and most of the time all the food intake I get every day is when I’m high. Also, being high in general (as long as it’s not too much) just calms my whole body down and makes it so much easier to function. It helps me not bedrot all day, I kinda have a social life and a boyfriend I’d like to try and keep up with, even though I barely can. I just don’t know what else to do.
Also, is it normal to feel like absolute shit during the day but feel fine at night with this stuff? My nausea and cramping is usually null and void at night and comes back again around the morning when I wake up or basically once it gets bright out if I stay up all night. I think it’s really odd that it feels almost scheduled, anyone else deal with that?