u/The_Actual_Sage

I'm going to explain this the best I can. I'm a novice drummer, and when I'm listening to songs I'm really good at finding the beat. The problem is I am never sure if the beat is in quarter notes or eighths. I feel like I can tap along with the beat 99% of the time but idk what to count with.

I'm attaching Kerosene by Thousand below. I can immediately identify the beat, but how do you tell what to count with? If I count in quarter notes the snare is always on 3. If I count in eights the snare is on 2 and 4 which feels more natural, but how can I be sure that's what they intended? And this applies to pretty much every song I listen to. Do I have to look up the sheet music? Or do I just assume the beat is in eighths because it puts the snare on 2 and 4? This kind of drives me crazy and would love some guidance.

https://youtu.be/jwcfiJiBKLg?is=xCLWeBmi\_BW0\_vPa

Mods delete if not allowed.

I know this is probably gonna be a little weird, but whatever. I'm disabled and I barely have enough energy to manage my life, let alone maintain friendships. It's me and my fiancee and I don't really have anything left for anyone else, at least not consistently. Going out and socializing just isn't in the cards for me, and after years of therapy I'm at peace with that. Friendships take time and energy, and I need that time and energy to take care of myself. That's okay.

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Help with figuring out quarter notes vs eighth notes in songs.

M31 in Tarentum with kind of a different post