u/The_Bing1

Hello everyone, I just want to share what I’m going through. Perhaps others can learn from my mistakes, or others going through the same thing as me can be encouraged to repent.

I’m a male in my late 20s.

I saw porn for the first time at age 7-8, and became addicted to it at age 14-15.

I started smoking weed at age 19 which slowly developed to near every day use.

I started to drink alcohol nearly every day around age 24 after a big breakup.

I began vaping nicotine at age 20.

I’ve managed to quit each one individually for a month or so before falling back again.

I have a job as a caretaker which I am grateful for, but my passion is in computer science, and my own decision to pursue lust has greatly slowed down my progress with my degree, only half finished.

I am grateful God hasn’t smited me down for my habitual sin and am still alive.

I’m back in school now, and am a week free from alcohol, weed, and pornography. I am still using nicotine but I am planning to ween off that too.

I am exercising, eating healthier, reading scripture, and have already noticed that I have more energy. I am refusing to sleep with my phone in my bed which is when and where I am tempted the most.

If I have dreams, usually they have been nightmarish. But last night I had a dream that I fell in love with a woman who also fell in love with me, and we kissed. I woke up initially sad, but then my senses came over me and I realized it is possible if I let God continue to work in me.

I don’t want to fall again by rushing into a relationship when I’m not ready (which I definitely am not ready).

By next year I’m hoping to have a job in any technical field, be in the best shape of my life, and still be sober from porn, weed, and alcohol (hopefully nicotine too), and praise Jesus Christ for it. I wouldn’t have even made it this week without Him.

I’m a man in my late 20s who I would consider a porn addict.

Although I’m not the biggest fan of counting days as I’ll end up sinning again to reward myself for staying away from that sin… (it sounds so incredibly stupid when I write that out but that’s what I’ve done), I’m on my 3rd day.

I was accidentally introduced to porn when I was probably around 7 or 8 years old. I remember the search. “Big butts”. I thought butts were funny as any boy would. What I was seeing was like looking at something alien, I did not understand at all what I was looking at.

My dad found me while I was looking it up and restricted my access to the computer for around 4 years.

I hit puberty, we moved houses, I now had my own hand-me-down PC, and that’s when the beginning of my addiction began.

My dad wasn’t ignorant to this, and began setting up keyword phrase and website blocks.

I don’t think there were any well known studies about porn like there are now. So beyond blocking those sites, that’s about all the education I received about it.

I knew in my spirit that consuming porn is bad, and my father was putting blocks on pornographic sites just confirmed that it is bad. But I shamefully never gave it up for good.

What began as “normal” porn slowly wasn’t good enough for me. I fed my lust, and wouldn’t you know, my lust continued to grow.

I think the longest I’ve went without porn was probably less than half a year, and that’s when I was with my ex.

I feel like I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m almost 30 with no real career, and I can’t help but attribute that to my steady porn addiction, habitual sinning, I’ve done to myself. Not to mention I’ve noticed a decrease in my libido. Less hard or not hard at all in the morning, and normal attractive women, who used to get me hard just by looking at them, no longer did so.

I’ve put off getting into any relationship because of this.

Honestly it is probably for the best that I don’t get into a relationship until at least another 6 months without porn.

I’m hoping abstaining from pornography and exercising will bring my libido back within a year because I do desire a family, still. I do recognize I may have to take ED medication but I’m looking to avoid that if at all possible.

I’ve never really regularly exercised either, so I’m looking forward to getting into better shape.

Im currently in school going for a tech degree, and I am repenting of this disgusting sin.

Thanks for reading, and may God help all of us who are struggling with this horrible sin

1 Co 6:19-20 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

I distinctly remember watching a video of Robin Williams wearing a Masonic sash over his shoulder. I believe he was wearing a beige suit, not too sure about the color but he had a suit on I believe. I remember watching this around 5 years ago.

This was on Oprah, if my memory serves me right

He is introduced and brought on already wearing it, and he then says how he’s a Freemason and makes light jokes about the illuminati.

Again I’m 99% sure he was on Oprah when this happened but I am not certain as I cannot find this video or any references to it.