u/The_Zer0Myth

Hello, All. If you like to look at people and psychoanalyze them for their MBTI, here's another example for you to look at.

When it comes to the tangible world, I am disconnected. There are moments where I come into myself and realize how the light glances off this table, how the darker rings of wood mottle the pale brown, how I can see a speck of dust and sweep it away. I admire it -- and then it's gone. I live my life not in my body. It's a tool to me, and one that I keep up through routine. I find it comforting, I suppose. Everything I do around it is centered around either decisions I make repetitively and therefore not at all, or decisions that I look over and execute once. It feels good to exhaust myself, but to actively make choices to go out, do things just "for the experience", simply doesn't interest me. Well, it does for novelty and for other people. But it isn't a thing *I* do.

I also don't particularly enjoy emotionality. Unlike my senses, I rarely experience strong emotions in a neutral sense -- it isn't something I enjoy, even the good ones. I'd prefer for them to be expressed and processed quickly, and for it to be done and brought back to equilibrium. To that end, I think I am quite expressive. I am fully willing to laugh, to cry, to feel anger and fear, and I feel no qualms about expressing it. Honesty has worked well for me. But it's also true to say that despite its necessity and its ability to be energizing, I dislike not feeling in control of myself, every time. It feels like weakness to me, one that I've rationalized and accepted, but still a thing that impedes my ability to behave rationally and perform. Perhaps that's why I feel it necessary to try and help others achieve peace, in some sense. I can understand what it means to have things bleed into others even when you might not want it to.

Now we can begin to make things more complicated. I'm very comfortable in social settings, and am usually among the last to leave. I am habitually late, a habit I've found to be particularly hard to break much to my chagrin. I am not inclined to speak over other people and will wait patiently for them to make their point, even if my expressions make clear that I have a thing to say. I am direct. I rarely want to converse in a general manner more than address whatever task is the actual focus of the meeting while at work. While off work, the task instead becomes socializing (if and when I do), so I adjust accordingly though I still wouldn't say I'm particularly personable. One of my core beliefs is that we are placed here to learn and improve until the day we die. I work in bursts, rather than in structured dedicated time. My natural state is to be at rest; I don't have qualms about not doing things. However, I spend a lot of time figuring out how I want to do things -- figuring out what I want, and then spending a lot of time looking at each possibility related to it to figure out which may be best means I can become locked in place or willing to be distracted by other newer things, though I do tend to return to them eventually. I do have an awareness of what I'd like to do, but detours if something looks more promising in a way I didn't expect, it can cause major delays. I find that time away can sometimes give me enough space to think on it differently, time to mull it over ambiently in my mind. I feel a compulsive need to understand things before I use them -- what they can do, if not how they work. I don't care how long something takes me as long as the process is correct in my mind. I am actively working on being a better executor. I find it difficult to be the first person to reach out and prefer to keep people at a distance. Whenever I realize I missed something, I tend to restructure entirely to try and figure out where it is. I am competitive. I find it difficult to think in the moment and prefer to have an idea of what I want to do before I do it, otherwise I can be swept away by instinct if I'm pressured.

I think that will do.