She said she "just didn't feel enough" after 8 great dates. still confused, what do you all think?
Hey everyone (32M), could use some outside perspectives on this because I've been going back and forth in my own head for weeks.
Matched with a woman (31F) on Bumble. We started texting, really hit it off, and went on a first date. Things moved slow and easy at her pace. She said early on she wanted to take it slow, which I respected. We kept seeing each other, date after date, really good conversations, lots in common.
After our 5th date (slow pace) we kissed for the first time. Over the next 2-3 dates things got more affectionate more kissing, cuddling, one evening we spent hours just lying together on her couch. No sex though. She also took initiative in planning some of our dates, and even pulled me back in for one last kiss when I was leaving one evening. We started talking about future stuff too, like a trip together. It genuinely felt like things were moving in a good direction, mutually, on both sides.
Then, after about 8 dates total, the topic of exclusivity came up. basically just asking if we were on the same page about being exclusive going forward. She initially said yes, she felt the same way. A few hours later she messaged again saying she wanted to take some time to think, and admitted she'd been dating someone else recently too (before we'd talked about exclusivity, to be clear).
She asked for space, I gave it to her, no messages for over a week while she was on vacation. She actually thanked me for that afterward. Then, about 10 days after the original conversation, she messaged saying she'd thought about it and just didn't feel like her feelings were "enough" to move forward, and she didn't want to give me false hope by meeting up again.
I responded kindly thanked her for the time we'd had together, said I'd remember our dates fondly, and wished her well. That was it, no further messages from my side after that, also nothing more from her.
The next day she'd already removed me on all social media. A few days after that I noticed she'd blocked me on WhatsApp too.
No real explanation beyond her original message. It was respectful and kind in tone, but still came pretty out of nowhere given how things had been going physically and emotionally right before that conversation and given that she was often the one initiating things. And I'll admit, the speed of removing/blocking me afterward, with zero further contact from my end, has thrown me a bit.
I'm not asking for relationship advice on how to get her back. I've accepted it's over. I'm just genuinely curious what this sub thinks: does this sound like a normal "it just didn't click enough for her" situation, or does the timing/suddenness seem off to anyone else? Could bringing up exclusivity have "forced" a decision she wasn't ready to make yet, in a way that backfired? Or is this just how current dating goes?
Appreciate any perspectives, especially if you've been on either side of something like this.
Edit:
Thanks for all the reactions. It's clear there's no exact science behind it. I guess it's about finding the sweet spot between not too fast and not too slow. Experience for the future... and I probably lost out to someone who clearly found that sweet spot. It stings, but life goes on.