r/Bumble

On Bumble as a woman looking for man, as in “open to seeing where things go”

I know this has been asked before but I am just curious to understand the men’s mindset behind this.
I get lots of likes and I do match some of them, including the super swipes. I also say hello first . But in the end only one out of 10 would reply.
This is so bizarre.
So, is it a wrong swipe , but I don’t think all of them are ?
Or , me just saying hello is not enough? For those who have questions I do answer them.
Whatever the reason, 10% reply rate is quite low.
I feel this is such a waste of time . If you are not interested then don’t like? Or just unmatch ?

Why do men do this ? Technically curious.

Personally I’ll never pay for a app of any kind especially on the dating side

As a man bumble has got to be easily 90% fake bot profiles and Glam “join my OF / social fan page” profiles

But I have wondered for men (I highly doubt a woman would even need to pay for one) have you men seen an improvement on “real” profiles and Or matches?

Even if you say it’s increased your luck 10 fold it wouldn’t convince me to pay for it but maybe give someone else a fighting chance

I’ve always wondered about it since it’s a option someone must be doing it

Update: yeah, you guys were right. I'm done.

I've been seeing a guy from Bumble for ~7 weeks now. From the very beginning he said he was looking for a long term relationship and to date to marry. Well here I am 7 weeks later, 8 dates in and he's made no mention of being exclusive. AND told me he doesn't think it's something the woman should bring up. I told him from the beginning that I am not interested in casually dating.

He also said he's too busy with work to see me more than 2-3hrs one day a week. But I've dated guys with full time jobs who have been able to make a little time to see me more often. I feel like he's using it as an excuse. It's great in person and it seems like he's really into me when we're together.

He also just updated his profile yesterday so I know he's still actively using Bumble. I have a phone call scheduled with him in an hour and think I'm just going to ask if this is going anywhere. I don't want to keep wasting my time or get more attached than I already am. I like him a lot, but it's too frustrating at this point. Any advice on if this is the right move?

met this guy off of bumble. We seemed to get along and met up over the course of this month. Things seemed good. But most recently we got a bit more close physical. We kissed a lot and I was on his lap at one point. Maybe the kissing got a bit too intense. We did something earlier like we went to a restaurant. Anyway I tried to ask him if I’m seeing him before a vacation. He said ok. But I feel the shift was almost instant. He went from planning stuff with me and making sure our calendars aligned to suddenly just saying ok. No further question. We didn’t touch and kiss as much as on this date— the prior ones. So this was the most escalation we had

What’s weird is he texted me as normal the rest of the week. I reach out about plans. I had to ask him: which day, which time, which place. I checked our prior thread and he’d send me like 2 days and some places. vs now it’s like just a bunch of small talk and me trying to push plans.

Listen I have zero issue planning dates. In the past we’ve both asked one another. This time it feels different. I told him which day, and he asked which place. I told him I have a few, does he have any? And he basically just continued small talk. Zero plan mention. I asked again. So now I’m waiting for a reply. I’m sure there’s someone else or he lost interest. But I’m wishing hed have told me.

I literally texted him saying I feel something changed. He said it didn’t. So yea. We never became exclusive anyway so. I am assuming he’s not gonna say much of anything and this ends here

Maybe it's my age: I'm 31 male and I often see my friends and their significant others always eager to spend time together, showing each other off, sending playful texts throughout the day. It makes me wonder where the line is between wanting to feel wanted and simply being in a relationship. I've noticed this dynamic in both men and women in healthy relationships. I just want a girlfriend who playfully annoys me with love and surprises me with silly gifts for no reason. Is that an unreasonable expectation?
Maybe I'm exaggerating, but as a man, I really do crave that sense of appreciation and desire from my partner. I feel like it's even harder to find this using apps like bumble. Dating should be fun while we can be serious with everyone else in our lives. We should also be able to be goofy, carefree, and deeply in love with our partners. Is this too much to ask for?

I keep seeing women with both Casual and Long Term selected and when we match they tell me they’re only interested in LTR. Some have admitted doing it to be noticed.

Men will select LTR usually with the intent of being open to an LTR is the date is worth is

But women need to stop being angry about men wanting short term then the woman’s profile says she’s open to short term.

You’re doing this to get swipes and views and it’s flagrant false advertising.

Last time I saw a guy for a date and I’ve been seeing him for about a month. Most times I saw him all we did was kiss. He was telling me about his hobbies or interests and I thought he was really nice. I never saw Star Wars and he told me about how he does light saber fights with his friends or they choreo it. And he told me he’d send me more info about Star Wars so I can learn.

But most recently he went from talking to me to just full on making out with me. Then giving me a hickey. And I was taken aback. After that he didn’t see interested to make any more plans. I got so confused and followed up about it. And in the past we both collaborated for plans. Now he’s texting me and last thing he said was asking what I want to do, and I asked him which day and time works. But we don’t have a place set. And our plans are supposed to be in like a day. So I don’t know what to do now.

He was hardly messaging me these past days and now said he had to stay at work. But idk. I feel like if I continue to press these plans it’s not gonna lead me anywhere good. I already feel like he was just trying to hook up last time because we went on a hiking trail and this time I picked one that was more remote. That’s where he was doing that much kissing. And then I felt the switch up of not really wanting to make plans. Do I just let this go?

He has some work thing coming up but he didn’t seem to urgently wanna make these plans with me and I just don’t know what to do now.

I've had a few dates now with different women and each of them have said they either didn't smoke/vape or did it very occasionally, their profile would always be non-smoker or "occasional" and when I asked they would make out it was very rare and only when drunk etc. But in every case when we met up they vaped constantly through dates and a couple of them smoked a lot of cigarettes when I was with them too.

Do ladies like to play it down generally?

After a first date if you tell a girl in person let’s do this again and text her after saying let’s hangout again. Do you think a guy means it ? Or is he just saying it just like that. Just wondering from a guys perspective .

After matching and a quick convo, I usually like chatting off the app sooner rather than later because of how glitchy it is. I usually use WhatsApp but lately I've been thinking I should be a little more cautious about giving out my phone number.

Which other instant messaging apps do you recommend?

It was not about him - I just have very little experience in dating and got super anxious and scared of going on a second date with him. So 2 days before I told him we shouldn't see each other but it's just because of me being stressed. It was impulsive and the next day I apologised, we talked for a while and I asked if he maybe wanted to meet again but he didn't want to. Which I totally understand and he did nothing wrong, he doesn't owe me anything. I was the problem here. The case is he was actually all I wanted in a partner (despite some concerns I had after our first date) and I deeply regret it. We had same hobbies, he was very open and caring, respectful, i found him physically attractive... I fear I won't find anybody else like this or just anyone interested. I can't cope with ruining an opportunity to have a good connection because of a stupid wave of anxiety. What can I do to feel better now, any ideas?

IMPORTANT: plz don't suggest therapy or meds, as I try/tried those. I'm in therapy for 8 years now and on medication. Just advice about this particular situation.

I'm calling BS at the timing. Bumble is seeming awfully shady as this seems to happen to a lot of people.

It may be mathematically possible but the odds are -very- low.(especially since I'd already swiped through -everyone- in my area up until yesterday).