r/Bumble

Maybe it’s just me but I hate when guys ask me to go on a date within the first few messages. We know basically nothing about each other. I’d rather talk for a few days and get to know each other a bit before a date is established. See if we actually interested in each other/discuss any potential dealbreakers.

I’ve been lurking here for a while now and I’ve noticed that only the men that post their profiles on this subreddit are downvoted. Is this always the case? Is there some kind of “man hate” trend on here or something?

This is absolutely not true.

Prompts are incredibly important.

80% of profiles on the apps have junk prompts. Just open the app right now and scroll through 10 profiles. It's junk after junk after junk in the prompts.

And chances are, you're running junk too in your prompts.

What this person said on here today woke me up to this. These people fully believe that prompts don't mean anything. They could just be ass because no one looks at them.

Lol?

So let me get this straight. You have an opportunity, to make use of a LIMITED space, on an online dating ad essentially, to showcase your personality and WHO THE F*CK you are. And you're straight up just wasting it?

Lmao.

Please, someone make it make sense.

EDIT: You're all getting downvoted in this comment section. I'm VERY disappointed in all of you.

What features are you guys looking for ? like a mini game that matches can play with each other ? who wins will message first ?

Yeah, I know. Another height post. How original. For what it's worth, I'm not here to complain about how women are evil cruel bitches for liking tall guys. In fact, I actually completely understand why tall guys are so universally preferred. If I was a woman, I'd probably ignore short guys as well.

I guess what I wasn't prepared for was just how universally undesirable short men seem to be. I mean, not the standard? I get that. But the further you look, the more you start to realize that there just isn't a market for you. It's a sobering thought when you realize that there's probably more women out there into scat as opposed to short guys.

If you think I'm being melodramatic here, let me just reiterate that I am in fact 5'4. A 5'4 male living in the USA. That is the average height of women in the west. See when people talk about short guys, they usually refer to men who are 5'7 - 5'9, maybe 5'6 if they're feeling extra charitable. And in that range, you're ok. Sure you don't look great when placed next to a 6'3 dude, but it's not the end of the world. The whole "6 ft only" thing is exaggerated anyways and primarily for social media, it's not that bad irl.

But below 5'6? Oof. Yeah there's no point in beating around the bush, it's not fun. It's funny seeing the difference in how people talk about "short" guys and short guys. Here's a compilation of the advice/talking points that have gotten thrown at me over the years:

● "Women who care about height are stupid and shallow. Just ignore them."

The idea that women who care about height are shallow stupid hoes is so silly. The vast majority of women care about height. Do people realize that when they say this, they're basically calling the majority of women stupid and shallow? These women can be caring, kind, thoughtful, and generally pleasant people to be around. But they have their standards. And they're allowed to have those standards. Most of my girl friends don't date short guys. They're all wonderful people.

● "Women don't like short guys cause of the napoleon complex. Just be confident."

No actually, women don't like short guys cause they just don't like short guys. It's not an appealing or masculine trait for a man to have. It doesn't look sexy or exciting. Being seen next to a short guy feels awkward and makes women feel self conscious about their own size. It's part social, part biological. An insecure short guy and a confident short guy will get mocked alike by bullies and mean girls, but that's just how it is.

● "Move to a shorter country."

Yeah let me just uproot myself so women will actually pay attention to me. Besides, this "solution" seems to ignore the fundamental concept that a taller man will always be perceived as superior and more masculine. Moving to a shorter country may make dating and sex easier, but it's not going to erase the baseline self loathing that comes with being short.

● "Transition or become gay."

Yes, people have actually said this to me. Do I even need to talk about how weird and offensive this advice is?

● "Wait till your thirties/fourties. Women care less about height as they age."

Sorry if I sound like an incel here, but being seen as the "safe" stable provider type is just soul crushing. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than live out my life as "plan b". I want to be desired for who I am. Loved for who I am. I don't wanna just be the nice funny guy who makes up for his physical defecit with personality.

The undesirability of short guys isn't anyones fault. It's not mens fault. It's not womens fault. It's not my fault, not your fault. It's just an unfortunate fact of life. Maybe dating and romance isn't for everyone. Maybe there's more to life for one to enjoy. I've just gotta make my peace with that.