u/ThemeSignificant7494

A question for the ages:

Who has the biggest balls?

I'm in shape, only just past 40, and I'm 140/100 sitting down, 150/110 just cooking. If my apple watch didn't bleep at me this morning I wouldn't have thought to check.

Admittedly I had extra stuff (relationshit) erupt in my life a week ago, and I stupidly went back to the old PRN CPTSD medication, a cigar. Same with drinking. Sigh.

But holy shit. We've been dropping like flies for other reasons for a long time, let's live long enough to see this end.

Also, go do easy walks. And easy jogs when you work up to it. Zone two works. Your heart is probably remodeled wrong and this gets you remodeled right.

I must have won the psychic lottery last night.

Someone with vibes a lot like a LGAT facilitator started running seminars out of hotels and keeping people against their will. I smelled it a mile away. No big deal. But it didn't click yet that I should do something

Friends of mine got sucked in. Big deal. I should do something.

I walk in and play coy. Standard mickey mouse shit that works on adults for some reason. I really don't get it. Cubicle walls and suite doors that can be opened to connect rooms were made into a damn maze. I just took the walls down and went through the fire exits with the no-no honor system signs.

When I've seen more than enough, I collect my friends and we walk out the front, birds raised, smiling. I know who, and what, is coming

The second we're out of sight of the main group on the sidewalk, the fastest runner, leading the pack, catches the corner of my eye. My elbow passionately but oh so tenderly kisses the bridge of his nose. He makes out with the pavement. Everyone else stops, then Mr. Big man himself (I think we all have one in mind so I won't spoil it by naming my own) comes. My idea of smooshing and working it out is a kneebar, but I'm leading. He declined to continue.

I sensed enrollment. We left.

He then for some reason thought he'd pull one over on us all by insinuating I married one of my friends, sending us gifts and a bill? (Not sure if this is my own stupid head here or this is some shit that the properly culty ones would do? This felt like a program I didn't remember going to, but adultified 😬). I informed him unsolicited goods aren't obligations but I'd prefer monogramming next time.

Life feels like an Enzyte commercial right now. I'll spare everyone here the whistling.