Finally, a win.
Struggling for a few years with the in-laws to the point of me choosing to go NC for the last 2 years. We’ve been married 5 years, have a toddler, have marital issues surrounding husband’s addiction and a baby on the way. Dealt with the usual steamrolling, manipulation, disgusting language, bullying of her own child, gaslighting and boundary stomping. Husband finally saw fit to have us meet with his childhood trauma therapist to discuss his family. He’s been pressuring me to rug sweep and quasi-fix the relationship with his mom since we found out that we’re expecting. I’m not on board. We’ve made attempts over the last year and it’s amounted to nothing more than his mom berating me while my husband disassociated. When it comes to my kids— no one has access to them without both of their parents being respected and willing. I’ve cut off some of my own destructive family members so it’s known that I mean business. We met with the therapist and this will be the 3rd that outright states his mom should be seeking her own treatment. Something we both know, but know hell will probably freeze over before she ever considers her own mental health. The hour was spent well. I finally felt like there was a real understanding about the unwarranted treatment I’ve received over the last few years. My husband even acknowledged that he’s received poor treatment from his family. We ended the session in agreement about our kids and how we will be handling the situation with his family for the foreseeable future. We agreed that I deserve a healthy pregnancy, birth and postpartum period; that we won’t include them in the pregnancy, birth or postpartum until I feel safe to do so; and a continued boundary that our kids aren’t a topic of conversation with his parents or grandparents (aside from “they’re fine”). I was very much supported by the therapist and my husband. This has been such a weight lifted as my first pregnancy and postpartum was the most stressful time of my life due to having to include mil and all of her anxiety riddled antics. Anyway a win is a win is a win! Oh and I’m strictly making statements, no advice wanted, my mil thinks making posts on the internet are always for seeking the opinions of others 😂