u/Theveilisgone

It is my birthday today, and after working a 14 hour shift into midnight, I need a bit of validation. 😈

$l3monade-mouth got 2 left!

When I was a little kid, I was nice to everyone. I was friendly, outgoing, and very talkative. I went from a diverse, kind, and accepting neighborhood in Reston, Virginia to the ghetto of Chicago. The school was almost entirely Black, and the kids and staff there were TERRIBLE people. Thanks to them, I had to become cold, quiet, and distant to avoid emotional outbursts. It was an environment where I witnessed and experienced reactive abuse, physical abuse, bullying, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. My mom got meaner (since we had to live with my toxic family) and her kids experienced more abuse. Being kind AND neurodivergent puts a target on your back because it’s easy to pick up on. People know that we lack awareness, are socially inept, insecure, and avoidant. Pair that with being “kind” and people think, “I can do and say whatever to this person because they won’t stand up to me!” It is nearly impossible for me to have normal interactions as an adult, so, I go out of my way to avoid interactions, but I snapped today. I went to Starbucks for a drink, and sat down at a table to enjoy it. Two people sat on either side of me and I didn’t react (not my restaurant, I can’t tell others what to do). I sneezed, thought I heard someone say “Bless you,” and as I was saying thank you, the guy on the left of me was like, “excuse you.” I said, “huh?” since he was talking while I was talking and he repeated it. I stared at him, he said, “sorry,” and I stormed out. I don’t know anybody on this Earth who says, “excuse me,” when they sneeze. I was FURIOUS. I went outside to get air and sunlight, keeping to myself and wanting to enjoy a drink, and this member of the “moral police” just HAD to ruin it. I circled back to tell him off, but he was gone by then. I HATEEE people now more than ever, and every time I try to be at least neutral, I get pushed for some stupid and petty shit. Does anyone else feel this way?

Just want to say how proud I am of our community for making strides towards destigmatizing our disorder instead of standing up against the wall and taking the attacks. Just last year, I saw the new wave of people who throw around the word “narcissist” like rice at a wedding at ANYONE who shows a single undesirable trait. This year, I see people in the NPD space making sure to speak up and check these uneducated (and frankly uncaring) individuals to stop them from continuing the harm to our community.