How to help kids improve mental toughness/ stamina?
My 11 yo just fenced his first tournament of the season yesterday, and the first where he was bumped into the age group that uses full-sized weapons. Going in, I cautioned him to temper his expectations because I knew he'd be one of the youngest / shortest- that he should just focus point by point and learn what he can, win or lose, and it didn't matter if he didn't make top 8.
There were 2 pools, and he surprised me by being focused and winning every one of his pool bouts, with multiple bouts against older boys a full head taller than him. He ended up winning his pool with a +15 touch differential, and being seeded 2nd overall (other pool winner had +16 touches). A bye for the first DE, a win in the next round. But this tournament had a Hoffnungslauf (2nd chance round after round of 16), meaning he then had to wait and face the winner of that. By quirk of numbers or whatever, he ended up having to fence the same kid, for the third time in the quarters (one he beat 5-0 in pool and 10-6 in round of 16). And I don't know, it's like my kid was maybe running on adrenaline that reached its end, because he just somehow checked out and fell apart. The other kid scored 2 quick touches, and my kid who had been calm in his earlier bouts even if he wasn't initially leading just got frustrated. I saw half way through he was in tears, but I really don't know why or when in the bout he started to cry. He didn't recover and ended up losing 10-8 and was devastated because that meant he missed the podium. The other kid is a year older and fair play to him for sticking with it and third time the charm to beat mine. But I feel like he didn't really win it, more that my kid lost it because he ran out of stamina. Of course my son was very upset, and it has been and is difficult to get him to properly process his losses as he gets very emotional.
I waited until today to ask him what he thought happened, how he felt different in the last bout, but he says he doesn't know. I feel like he probably got tired (also, it was really hot 35 C / 95 F outside, no AC in hall), and maybe he just doesn't have the mental / emotional maturity to stick out long days. Also, instead of focusing on how well he did in the pools and that I think he should be proud of his overall performance, he seems to only focus on the fact that he lost the last bout and missed the podium. So how do I help him? Is it about stamina? Is it something that gets better with age / experience, or is there something specific sports psychology wise that we can do to help him?
Thanks for any insight!