u/ThrowAway_A_Lost

It's one of those days again when it feels like everything is on the brink of falling apart. Breaking up. Cutting each other off. Well, her cutting me off. Me being trapped in the turmoil of her emotions.

Yesterday was a nightmare. "Everything was a mistake."

I kept trying to stay calm. After all, it was just text. But during our calls (we're in an LDR), I can't control my voice, and she gets irritated because I have emotions too. Because I become sad in response to her words. To her claims that it's the end of the world. That it's over.

Apologizing only enrages her. Yeah, I've recently come across posts here saying "don't apologize," but... how am I supposed to behave? I feel like ignoring her for an hour is only going to make her fall deeper into the rabbit hole she's already in.

Am I strong enough? Have I become dependent on her emotions? I feel like I'm constantly on edge, counting the days, postponing serious conversations because these aren't the days to make important decisions. And it's difficult to accept that, in those moments, it's her PMDD talking. But I can't help taking everything she says into consideration.

I end up feeling like a LEGO set falling off a counter, shattering into pieces the moment I feel her switch.

As the title say, I think my partner, which I have been dating in a long distance relationship for past 7 months, has PMDD. The past months I have realized that whenever she is two-one week away from the period, she is extremely sensitive, feeling lonely, and induces herself into selfharm (hitting her arm).
Due to the distance, I can only support her in a limited reach and many times I feel like I become too bothersome. And her comments make me start thinking and somber my mood as well. How unfiltered are the emotions during the luteal phase? Meaning, does she feel that way and tries to justify it the rest of the times, and only now she cares so little to actually say it? How much is due to the hormones? I am a woman as well, and I know about the anxious state before the period, but my symptoms are extremely mild/light compared to hers.
How can I be a good partner? She is now starting these weeks, and the change of behavior is stark. It's like I am dating two different persons.
For context, she really diminishes the idea of going to therapy because of the self harm (and certainly now is not the moment to talk about it). And whenever we talk about "these days" and ask her how can/should I act, what helps her, what annoys her, she just goes "I don't know" "I am sorry" "I need to improve".
But she doesn't need to improve? Outside of these weeks she is the most thoughtful caring partner. I wish I could enter in her mind and see the storm she goes through. But since I can't, what should I do, how can I help her?