Need help with hard converts with my mom.
Hi, my (49 f) mom, (69) has been a widow for 7 years. She did everything you’re not supposed to do right after a spouse dies: retired early, sold her house and moved 4 hours away. Now she lives outside a town where she doesn’t know anyone except a handful of people and doesn’t go out of her way to try to meet people. Her choice, no problem with that. She’s also a hermit and rarely leaves her home.
The problem is she has turned toward animals and her house is kind of gross. She started with one stray cat and now has 20+ in her barn at any given time. She has a handicapped dog that she can’t bathe properly and has 3 cats in the house as well. It reeks. I was fine with the smell when it was just the dog. I’m allergic to cats and am getting sick every time I visit her. My sister and her kids don’t want to come over because of the smell. We’ve very politely try to help her, whenever I’m there, I wash the dog, the dog beds, shampoo the carpet, etc.
No one wants to go to her house for holidays anymore and we don’t want our young (2-3 year old) grandkids here. How do we tell her nicely that this is why no one wants to be at her house? I’m used to come once a month and now i find myself dreading it more and more.