AITA for losing it at my friend for judging my relationship with my boyfriend?
So, I posted asking advice on other subreddits just two days ago, but I think I may have already blown it with my friends. Didn't imagine that shit would go sideways this quickly.
I, (18F), have been dating my boyfriend (22M), for about 3 months now. For some background, I have known him since I was about 4 years old because his mom used to be my babysitter. We've always been very close, and our relationship didn't fall apart since he went to college in my town, same college that I am going to now, so we were always able to keep in touch. He's always been more like an older brother to me, but about a couple years ago (when I was 15/16) I started being attracted to him. But I always kept him as a friend since he was dating someone at the time. Personally I've always trusted him, many times I've trusted him a lot more than friends my age, and he's never made me unsafe. A lot of times in high school he was the person I would go to when I needed someone to confide to about my problems.
My parents are also very open about relationships/sex in our house, so I've had a lot of conversations with them about dating and grooming, so I was always well aware of those things. My mom has always suspected that I had a crush on him and she's talked to me about it before and said that there is nothing wrong with it since my parents know him really well and they know that he is a good guy, and my mom said she trusts me to leave the relationship if he starts hurting me because they've taught me about that stuff. But like I said before, he was dating someone and so I didn't really do anything about it. In high school I was also a big overachiever, so I tried to not focus on dating and focus on my school stuff.
But things changed this summer when he broke up with his girlfriend of three years because she was cheating on him. I helped him through it because he was pretty torn up about. One night when we were hanging out, he finally admitted to me that he was in love with me and has been for years, but he's always hesitated to tell me because his friends told him that he was gross for wanting to date someone as young as me. At that point I came clean about my feelings for him too, and we've been dating ever since.
Now this is the part that has me question everything. When I started college, I got some new friends from different schools (since all my friends went out of state). When I told them about my boyfriend and how long we've known each other, they all insisted that my boyfriend is a predator and that I was being groomed and have been groomed for years. And I mean, multiple people insisted this. My parents know that we are dating and they are cool with it and like him, and they have told me multiple times that they are supportive of our relationship. I also have never felt unsafe, he has never made me do anything I don't want to do, and we have good conversations about our boundaries.(Before anyone asks, I've never mentioned this crush in high school, so I've never gotten an outside perspective till college.) However, they have been pretty subtle about it, so I kind of brushed it off.
So, this is the part where I may be the asshole. Yesterday I was holding a study group with my friends, and somehow relationships came up. One of my friends started really digging into why I would date a guy four years older than me and called it disgusting and that I should know by now that I am a victim. She then proceeded to call my bf a "pedo Roman Polanski wannabe." I felt that this really out of line, and I responded by saying "Don't worry about my love life, worry about the fact that your attitude is acting as a natural contraceptive, no plan B necessary. I guess your finger will just have to do." (just to be clear she is single). She then stormed out on me, and my other friends told me that I shouldn't have gone that far. I haven't texted her or apologized, and I haven't reached out to any of my other friends. So people of reddit, AITA? I feel like what I said wasn't THAT insulting, but if I am the asshole, that's probably why.
(Answers to some questions that may come up: I was 18 when he confessed his feelings to me. His gf of 3 years that he broke up with was 21, he was already 22 when he broke up with her. My friends haven't met him yet; honestly don't trust them enough to not say something in front of him. Bf still lives in town, so we are not long distance.)