I (28F) made a joke with my husband (29M) and it's costing me my marriage with a man i truly love, i need help fixing it?
Created the account a couple of minutes ago to get advice, a joke i made is spiraling out of control and I'm loosing a man i truely love over it.
My husband and i have been married for 4 years now i truely do love him with everthing i have, i can't see a life without him.
I took some stupid advice from some of my girlfriend regarding a joke that they have done with their husbands or boyfriend. The joke is basically telling your partner you want to break up or that you want a divorce. I never wanted to do it and thought it was cruel to do especially to someone you love but i was convinced after kept pestering me about it as i was the only one that haven't done it yet out of the 5 of us. They further convinced me about it when they told me the reactions their partners had afterwards.
Stupidity i did it last week and my husbands reactions wasn't what i thought it would be. I honestly thought that he would try and talk to me or beg or make suggestions like my friends partner have done but he didn't. We had dinner and was watching a movie when i told him I'm not happy anymore and i think we should get a divorce. He looked at me for a couple of seconds and i swear i looked like something broke in his eyes he got up, walked into our bedroom and within 10 minutes came out with a bag and walked out of the house without saying a word to me. I tried to stop him especially after seeing him with his bag packed and told him it was just a joke and i didn't mean it but he basically just brushed me off and walked out.
I tried to get ahold of him, messages, calls, emails, video chats but he isn't answering me at all. I talked to his friends but none of them want to tell me where he is when and if they awnser me. I went to his work but they refused me entry into the building, i have tried his parents but they don't want to get involved as well as with his siblings the only messages i got back was from his sister telling me i joke or not i fucked up. I have sent to many messages about it being a joke and even sent screenshots of my conversations with my girlfriends about the joke as proof that it was a joke and that I'm not back tracking all of the sudden but nothing.
My friends didn't have any real advice and told me to just give him time and that he will get over it.
Everything came down on me yesterday when i was served with actual divorce papers. it felt like someone slapped me in the face and hit me and continued to hit me. I was and still am in so much pain. I frantically tried to get ahold of him but all i got back was he has nothing to say and i should talk to his lawyer.
How can i get the man i love back? I don't want to loose him, i made a stupid joke i know that and now it's breaking my world apart.
Edit, already had questions in my dm about this.
We have had no issue that i know of. We were laughing the whole time throughout the day, had fun and everything. No fight or distance recently between us, nothing like that at all everything was basically perfect.