Vaginal Tearing & Pain During Sex
Long post but hoping someone has any advice or has dealt with similar issues.
September 2024
Noticed a small tear at the bottom of my vagina after having sex. No pain and didn’t realize it until I went to pee and it stung. Little bit of blood. Honestly didn’t think much of it, just assumed I had some irritation and the tear healed quickly.
Late October 2024
Had sex again since there were no visible signs of the tear still being there. Checked afterwards and noticed I tore again but also had some swelling.
Late November/early December
Assumed I was healed but this time I had to actually tell my boyfriend to stop because it was uncomfortable, I almost felt dried up. Checked and there was another tear and more swelling, almost bulb-like near the upper area.
December 2024
Saw a Gyno ARNP and also had a Pap smear. She prescribed estradiol for two weeks for the tearing. Pap came back abnormal with LSIL (low grade lesions).
January 2025
Had a colposcopy/cervical biopsy and everything came back clear. Also had a full STD panel, BV test, yeast test, and all came back clear.
February & March 2025
Abstained up until Feb and tried coconut oil as lube. Still tore. Waited until March and tried water based lube and still tore. Messaged ARBP and she referred me to a specialist.
May 2025
Saw specialist for possible vulvodynia and vestibulitis. Said pelvic exam looked normal and prescribed a compound of estradiol and testosterone. I think I used that for two weeks or so. Said to follow up in 8 weeks but I never did. Honestly I thought his office would contact me but I think I was supposed to initiate and never got around to it. I was just feeling defeated.
June 2025
Saw a my primary for a regular checkup and told her all that was happening. She recommended Sliquid but I never got around to buying any. She also tested me for Ureaplasma. Positive. She said she wasn’t sure if this was the cause of the pain and tearing but prescribed me doxycycline. My partner was 100% willing to get tested and treated as well. I thought that would be best so we didn’t pass it back and forth. He called his doctor who actually also works with my doctor, and he told my partner that he didn’t need to be tested and he didn’t need to be on antibiotics. Tell me how that makes sense!!!! I was so irritated that I threw away the doxycycline and didn’t even bother with it.
September 2025
Tried having sex. Didn’t have any lube at the time. I was aroused but was actually in so much pain that my partner had to stop. I tore again but the pain of penetration was new.
July 2026
Yeah. It’s been that long. I was very much in the mood and so was my partner so we tried. I used a ton of Good Clean Love after I felt “warmed up” enough. TEAR. And honestly, I think I started tearing before he even tried penetrating (like during foreplay) because when I used the lube, it stung where I usually tear. He couldn’t even get halfway before I started writhing in pain and had to stop. It almost felt like I was losing my virginity all over again but 10x worse. I had him take a look and there was a tear and blood. I sobbed for a good half hour afterwards. #1 due to the pain and #2 I thought enough time had passed and I was really looking forward to that part of intimacy we’ve been missing out on.
It’s been a very long almost two years and I don’t know what to do. I’m going to try to follow up with the specialist I saw last year to see what’s next and ask if he will retest for the Ureaplasma then I’m making my partner find another doctor to test him. I really don’t even know if that’s the issue but I know it can cause many symptoms.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Please comment or dm me if you’ve dealt with something similar.