u/ThrowRAOther-

​

I genuinely don't understand why some women are so quick to throw around the term "pick me."

Here's what I mean:

When a woman wears makeup and says it makes her feel confident, she's often met with comments like: "Go girl!" "Baddie!" "Queen!"

People rightly say it's her choice, that makeup is a form of self-expression and art.

But when another woman says she doesn't enjoy wearing makeup and feels more confident in her natural skin, the response is often:

"Pick me." "You're just looking for male validation." "Attention seeker."

Personally, I don't like wearing makeup because I genuinely feel more confident without it. That doesn't mean I look down on women who do wear makeup or think I'm somehow superior. It's simply my personal preference.

What I find frustrating is that this same respect isn't always extended in the opposite direction.

Choosing not to wear makeup is often assumed to be an attempt to gain male validation, while choosing to wear makeup is rarely questioned in the same way.

The irony is that makeup has historically been shaped, at least in part, by societal beauty standards including standards influenced by what many men find attractive.

Yet the woman who opts out of makeup is the one accused of seeking male approval.

Can we stop calling every other women " Pick me " ?

I'm sure many of you have heard about Ketan Agarwal, who was allegedly killed by his fiancée and her lover. The case is horrifying, and I hope he gets justice.

What I find astonishing is that men across social media are discussing this issue and directing their anger toward women in general. I can understand the outrage toward the people involved in the crime, but I've come across comments such as:

"Taliban is doing absolutely right."

"Now we understand why women were kept at home in the past."

What seems strange to me is that hardly anyone is talking about the fiancée's lover, who also played a major role in the murder.

From what I remember, in the Twisha Sharma case, many women were equally angry at, or even more critical of, Girbhala Singh than they were of Samarth.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't hold the woman accountable. She absolutely should be held responsible if she is guilty. However, blaming all women for the actions of one individual seems unjustified.

There are countless cases where men have been murdered or harmed by other men. In those situations, I don't usually see people blaming all men or arguing that men's freedom should be restricted because of the actions of a few.

What I find particularly confusing is the idea that men somehow "allowed" women to be free in the first place.

Do men in real life actually think this way, or is this mainly an effect of social media ?