u/ThrowRA_56834

I (M40) started dating someone (37F) a little over two months ago. We are both divorced single parents. We became exclusive very quickly, and are absolutely crazy about each other, spending multiple days a week together, so I recognize we are in a honeymoon phase.

She has full custody of her 15 yr. old son with dad completely out of the picture, and I have a 10 yr old son with 50/50 custody.

I don’t plan on introducing her to my son for at least 6 months, but she wants to introduce me to her son already. I have told her I don’t recommend doing that for her son’s sake, but she she is very family oriented and wants me to start attending her family gatherings, where her son will be attending.

There are some cultural differences here too where apparently my attending those family gatherings even this early on is very important to her. Anytime I suggest holding off on my attending, again for her son’s sake, she gets sad/upset and suggests I am not serious about her, which couldn’t be more false.

I could be overthinking it, so need some opinions. If I tell her I want to delay that step for 1 month or so, she’ll be receptive, but any longer I think she’ll definitely start taking it negatively and will strongly consider breaking this relationship off, which I dont want to happen. Part of me thinks if she wants to risk her son’s well-being this soon, then that is her choice, but i also want to start off my relationship with her son in the best possible way, when the relationship with her has matured. It will also become very apparent when i meet her son, but she doesn’t get to meet mine for a while longer.

Has anyone agreed to an introduction to their partner’s kid earlier than you were comfortable?
Did it work out well or did it end up hurting the relationship?
Was there any way that you went about the introduction that helped it go better or anything you did that you wish you didnt?

I know everyone is on a different timeline but would appreciate any advice on this.
I’m 4 weeks post op ACLr with hamstring graft. Also had a meniscus tear - leading to a substantial amount trimmed.

I feel like im getting closer, and just started using a cane at home, but cant quite reach the ultimate goal. I can only take about 5 steps without crutches or a cane.

Im already doing PT 3x a week. Doing all types of stability exercises and on leg press - pushing over 100 lbs with 2 feet or 75 lbs with just the surgical leg. Also using the nmes machine on the quad.

Despite focusing a lot on strengthening the quad, it feels like the quad weakness is the main thing standing in my way. Thats what makes me feel unstable while walking.

Is this normal, and does this just require time or is there more I can do?

Thanks!

Hi All,

If you had your ACL surgery with Dr. Robert Marx at HSS in NYC, can you share your experience and whether you were happy with the results/outcomes of your surgery?

There is only so much research you can do online, and I’ve found first hand feedback like this to be the best source.

I’m super grateful to this community as I continue on my journey towards my ACL surgery. Even selecting a surgeon has been incredibly challenging with all the varying approaches in this space.

TIA!

My flexion dropped dramatically after my full ACL tear/injury down to the 80 degrees range. Ive been working on it in prehab PT for the past 3 weeks and its barely improved/if at all, despite fairly rigorous 1 hour PT session 2x per week, plus my own stretching daily stretching. Of the 3 surgeons I consulted with, this one seems to be the best, but is the only one who said to wait to do the surgery until full ROM is reached. Im inclined to go with him, but im struggling to reach that, and I’m concerned it might take months at my current rate. My preference would be to get the surgery sooner than later, but only if not undermining future success of course.

For those who were in this situation - did full ROM pre-surgery pay off in your post surgery results?

For those who went forward with surgery with less than full ROM, do you regret doing so?

Second - I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much too soon from PT or if my PT therapist might not be the best fit for my type of acute injury.

My PT routine so far:

The therapist always applies heat to warm up my knee first, and then does several rounds of applying pressure to bend the knee as far as possible, where I let the pain go up to a 5-7 out of 10 range before I say stop. We go from several angles, first while im laying flat on a table, sliding the leg forward into a knee bend, then while leg is hanging off side of table, then with her pressing my foot into her shoulder and her leaning forward pushing the knee into a bend. Also, ones where I place the leg onto a step and lunging forward into a bend. Then pedaling, and several machines doing leg presses and leg lifts to strengthen the quad which got much weaker. Im still only walking on crutches, 7 weeks post injury. I can put weight on injured leg but not enough to walk without crutches. Knee is unstable, gives way when I try.

Would appreciate any advice in ways to speed up flexion increase or if I just have to be patient, thats ok too.

Thank you all!