My (20m) girlfriend (20f) has been secretly snapping with another guy.
So, l'm kinda just a mess right now, but I will keep this short. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 3 months. Our relationship is generally amazing ans we communicate about all of our problems effectively, and resolve them right when they pop up. It has mostly been very minor stuff up until now, like vou'd expect.
A few weeks ago though, while cuddling, I saw her getting a Snap from someone she has never told me about. Lets call him Ben. I asked who it is, and after a longer conversation she just told me a friend of hers in school added him because he seemed cool. We talked about my boundaries, and we agreed that she would un-add him and always tell the other person when we add someone from the opposite gender. That night, she texted me saying she deleted him. I took it at face value because i trusted her.
Fast forward two weeks later and while she sends a snap i catch a glimpse of Ben. At that point, I'm not sure if I iust misread so I think nothing of it. Another week later, we cuddle again and she falls asleep. And look,I definately want to respect her privacy, but the curiosity got the better of me and I looked through her snap, seeing she snapped with him for 17 days straight. There were no texts, but they easily just couldve expired. She only saved a few snaps from him, some with him on them. The guy was also muted, so she wouldn't get notifications from him.
On thing to note though is that she texts me like a LOT and also we see each other like 5 days a week, and also call when she has break from work and after work/ school. I also have her location at all times, and I know she wasn't anywhere else other than my house, hers and work/school. So she definately wasn't physically cheating on me.
Nevertheless I immediatley confronted her about it and she profusely apologized and wanted to cuddle and kiss. She immediately blocked him too. At first I stayed strong and didn't give in, telling her how i feel that my trust has been broken and she was lying to me. I asked her if she has snapped back, and she said no. When i told her she had a snapstreak, she started telling me it was just random pictures from out the car or from food. I told her to come clean with everything and then it finally seemed ike she told me the truth. She told me she wanted to make friends because she almost has none (but I don't like that its the opposite gender and that she kept it hidden). Throughout the next hour or so she manipulated me into cuddling her and kissing her again, which kinda felt gross. I wanted some time to think thinas through but didn't get that.
She then went through my phone a bit to ask me aboui my female friends, and told me (for one female friend of mine) that she think that people keep people added, to somedav cheat on their partner. And this, THIS broke me, because why would she say that? She did the same thing shes talking about but much much worse. So was she planning on cheating? I don't know. In the end I told her that everything is going to be fine and nothings gonna change between us, but that she got a first strike, and that there won't be a second
I just feel like I handled the situation poorly and should've let her feel the consequences more. Also, can I move on from this? She wasn't cheating or anything, just lying to me and now I feel like shit. I've told her she needs to regain/rebuild mv trust, but when she asked how, I ust told her to be fully transparent from now on and never lie again. Is there anything else she can do?
Thanks reddit in advance, sorry if this post is all over the place, my thoughts are too.
tl;dr: My girlfriend secretly snapped with another guy while lying to me. She told me she won't and did it anyway. How do I proceed in this relationship?