u/Throw_Away_975312468

I’ve been dealing with insomnia for more or less 3 weeks now. It’s definitely due to work related stress. I had a 2 week vacation and when I came back to work everything was on fire. So I’ve been trying to get caught up with 100s of unread emails while carrying my whole team. And I’ve had a lot of my support structure removed at work due to personnel changes. So now I’m at the stage where most nights I’m not sleeping and every waking moment I am ruminating about work, even after I leave the building. The inability to fall asleep has been frustrating. Every night I get right on the verge of being asleep, but I just remain at the edge the whole time, never actually falling asleep. I lay there in anticipation of sleep, so of course it never comes.

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, Anxiety, Panic disorder, and Depression, and I know that a big contributing factor keeping me awake are the intrusive thoughts. They keep distracting me and popping up in my mind regardless of what I’m doing, and they always drive my train of thought back to work related things.

I’ve been prescribed trazodone 50mg and have started supplementing magnesium, but it’s only been 3 days. Prior to that, the only thing that ever actually worked for me was trying various benzodiazepines. I don’t want to keep taking benzodiazepines because I know they’re addictive. But I’m so fucking annoyed that nothing else has worked. I’ve tried other over the counter sleep aids like Benadryl, but they don’t work.

At this point the insomnia is feeding into the anxiety and it’s creating a feedback loop that I just can’t shake. I’m so tired of this and i genuinely don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this. I’m desperate and think the only way I’ll get a good nights rest at this point is if I’m put under anesthesia or a coma.