u/Throwaway-521551

I made this throwaway account intending to write a big, long post that went into all of my history with my spouse, all of the context, etc. But he's out with her now, and I just can't find the energy.

It feels like my heart is being torn open every time they're together. I know he doesn't feel that way when I go out without him. How do I get over it? I so badly want to be OK with it. How do I make it not hurt?