My boyfriend said he is scared he won’t be attracted to me anymore when I go on testosterone
Hi all, this is a rough one, and I’m not really sure who to talk to about it but I want to get it off my chest. my boyfriend is bi, I’m a trans man, and recently I’ve been able to make some moves to start testosterone by going privately. I just need a blood test and should be smooth sailing from there.
My boyfriend has brought up how starting testosterone will bring a lot of changes (naturally) and that he’s scared he won’t want to be with me because he loves me for me, and sees a future of us together as I am now, and that he’s sees me as a guy anyway, and that alot of people do (I do not pass). He said he doesn’t want to lose me and he loves me a lot but he’s scared that the changes will change the things he fell in love with me for, and that he’d still love me as a person, but if there’s no physical attraction then the relationship can become stale. He’s said he would date a cis man and all that jazz, but I think he’s just scared of me changing
I don’t want to leave him, but I’m also not going to not go on testosterone when I’ve been waiting for this for years and years. I understand his fears I suppose, and I know that he finds change scary, so do I, but ough. He keeps asking me if there’s any alternative things he or I can do to help me feel more masculine and comfortable because he says he doesn’t want to lose me, but I truly don’t know how to answer that
He and I have both been really upset about this, because obviously he still loves me, and part of me thinks he’s getting in his own head about it and overthinking it a bit, part of me hopes he’ll still love me as I change and grow, another part of me thinks this is wishful thinking.