u/Thrusty_Dusty69

A little backstory... I've been divorced for just over 8 months, and have been doing a week on-week off schedule with the ex-wife. Even on the weeks I don't my two boys (eight and four) I am still very involved with them. I pick up from daycare/school some days on my weeks off, coach my oldest in football, and try to take them out to dinner once a week. It's so hard to go from being day for seven days straight, to being a person and I just find myself lost on how to be my own person some days.

I go to the gym, hangout with some friends here and there, and try to find things to do to keep my my occupied. I work a lot (60 hours a week) so that eats up a good chunk of my time as well.

It's definitely been hard not having someone to vent to after work or just talk to about mundane things (There's no way I'm letting my ex know anything about my life) and I know eventually someone will come along. But the loneliness sets in a lot here lately.

Just trying to see what the other single dads are doing to feel a little normal by myself. I've gone on some dates over the last few months but damn, the pool is shallow it seems like.

I will try to keep this as short as possible, but I may not be able to get all the words out.

For the better part of 20 years, I have not been a social media guy. I get on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok to see how everyone’s life is going but rarely ever post or comment on others posts. To me, social media has a certain toxicity that I don’t want to be a part of.

But in this community, I have found some of the best advice and tried to give advice to all of the single and divorced dads who are going through a tough time. I have posted a lot over the last few weeks, and every post garners a lot of men who have shared some really good advice and perspective that I haven’t found elsewhere.

My divorce is still pretty fresh. I split from my ex of 12 years back in December, after so many years of just being miserable. This is not to say I was the perfect husband. I work a lot, I carry a lot of stress sometimes, have a temper that can be set off by something as little as a cup spilling on the floor (all things I have spent months in therapy for). But I will always stand firm that I loved my family and did every thing for them that I thought was right. I never cheated, I never shied away from any of their needs, I always talked my kids through their problems, and I always came home and to bed every night. The things a man is supposed to do.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has interacted with my posts and comments, and who had shared their personal experiences. Your knowledge and your perspective is invaluable. As someone who can overthink, and jump to the worst possible outcome, hearing others stories has dug me out of some deep emotional holes at times.

My only hope is to share my experience with others, and that they will find some peace in my story. Men carry a lot of mental and emotional weight. We deserve to take care of ourselves too. The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day.

I know it’s probably a crazy thought for some of the single dads/divorced dads in this feed but… how often do you find yourself thinking about how things used to be, and if you could have ever salvaged your relationship or marriage?

For perspective, I got divorced about 8 months ago. Found a great gal who lives about 2.5 hours away and that I get to spend every other weekend with. She’s great with my kids and we talk every night almost.

My ex-wife isn’t a bad person. I was not close to being a walk in the park to deal with as a husband. Work stress, personal stress, and a trigger-happy temper over little things were my downfall… it pushed her away and she did the ol’ deed with another man. I couldn’t get over that and we ultimately split up.

I often find myself looking back on the good years at times, and think about how we were happy for a long time, had two great boys together, leaned on each other during times of loss and times of joy, and did a lot of fun things together for many years. I don’t know; I just find myself wishing for that again some times.

Am I crazy?