Helping partner with sleep
I (43m not dx) seek ideas for how to support my partner (35m dx ADHD) who is struggling with sleep. He is already working with a prescriber and therapist (off and on), so I’m not asking about medication.
For the past two years, since a death in the family, he's cycled between several nights of very little sleep (rarely asleep before 4am, up at 5-6am) and a crash where he sleeps half a day. Afterward he's frustrated, changes nothing, and the cycle restarts. It's now affecting his finances, his energy at home, and our relationship.
Things he resists, even when they came from his own therapist:
- Setting the phone aside at night (he insists he needs TV and phone together "until he feels sleepy")
- Sticking with the worry journaling his therapist suggested (it worked for 3 days)
- Eating during the day. He skips meals, then loads up on sugar and carbs late at night.
He works on the road all day, so I think he's protecting the evening as “his” time. Gentle reminders tend to make him snappy, and I've run out of ideas.
For partners who've been through something similar:
- Why might he abandon strategies that clearly help him?
- What has actually helped you support your partner without becoming the reminder person?
- How do you protect your own energy when you're carrying most of the shared life responsibilities?