u/Tight_Beautiful_4391

After seeing yet another antisemitic attack in a synagogue in NY, I wanted to come on here and share a thought, which I never really comment online or engage. I am not an influencer, I actually have a private page with just one photo of myself. It makes me very scared of what the world is coming to and it's all against us. It's more constant that I see videos and news online of antisemitic attacks, insults, physical assault, negative comments, and plain evil against Jews. For the sole fact of being Jewish, regardless of being Israeli/not Israeli, frum/not frum, Orthodox/Conservative/Secular. Just being Jewish of any kind is enough for their hate.

These are some arguments that might be used to defend this page:

1. "This is Reddit"- Frankly, I use reddit to keep updated on topics I find interesting such as technology, travel, finance, fashion, cooking, event planning ideas, etc. It can be used for good. I'm assuming this thread popped up on my page because the algorithm knows I'm Jewish. I also want to confess that the thread that popped up on my feed was about an influencer I found annoying/strange. And I was guilty of reading it and looking at the comments. But then I realized it's wrong. Honestly, I do find some influencers annoying but I do not leave negative comments. I simply mute/block the page.
2. "But this is a snark page"- I understand there is gossip, jealousy and simply negative talk in this world and reddit is no different. However just because there are things we know are bad in this world, doesn't mean we have to partake in it. If we're Jewish, whether frum our not, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. Let's be honest: jealousy, speculation, lashon hara, or even excessive nosey are not great behaviors. And if you feel feisty and want to take it out on someone, please do fight all the antisemitic content there is! which you will unfortunately find a lot of...
3. "Some influencers promote lies/make their lives seem better/display wealth excessively" - This is the whole concept of social media, people painting a picture online that is often much better than reality. I agree with this 100% and I'm not saying it's right. But do not have the power to maje anyone to feel envy unless we allow that feeling in our hearts. I have been guilty of this feeling of perhaps feeling like I'm lacking because of what others portray online but then I see the reality, and everyone does it for a reason. For some people, this is their job (making their page interesting enough to get an audience to sell to). For some people, it's for validation (which in that case I'd find it more reasonable to feel pity or even compassion, instead of jealousy). For others, they are quite creative or are great speakers, and actually feel very passionate of sharing for this purpose only. (whether it's nice recipes, art, funny videos, fashion, you name it!)

Disclaimer: Honestly, I am in a circle of wealthy people and the wealthiest people I know actually don't even have or post on social media. So it has opened my eyes even more to help me realize that often times, the people living crazy/rare experiences that others could be jealous of if it was posted, simply don't post it because... for what? Even myself, I have became more private as time goes on because I've been disappointed by "friends" showing jealousy, "friends" feeling entitled to my financial possibilities, and other lessons that have made me want to be very selective of what I share and who I share it with. But the funny thing is that nobody knows what happens behind closed doors. And another funny thing is that I've had times in my life where I've had tremendous sadness and challenges privately, yet some people have still shown jealousy for whatever reason, even one time I had just gotten discharged from the hospital and felt at my lowest. We do not know anyone's challenges. And right now, I am quite happy in life BH (I still have different/new challenges) and I wanted to write this even if some people will comment that it's a snark page and to leave, etc.

I will share some of what has worked for me to remain positive and try to be a better version of myself. And I felt very compelled to share this on this thread in the month of Elul because even if it helps one person and I get negative comments from 99 others, I will be fine with that.

1. Anyone I find annoying, I block so I never have to see them again on my feed. That's it lol. I don't see anything wrong with protecting my visual diet.
2. I do follow some influencers I learn from and find them positive or inspiring. I love SivansKitchen, Challahandchutzpah, Rabbi Manis Friedman, Ashley Eliyahu, Jewishgirlsclub, and if you speak Spanish, I find Rabbi Daniel R Chapan very funny and cool way of sharing knowledge. Not all influencers are bad lol.
3. If I know Aleph, I try to teach Alef. I have a young sister and I tell her often to not be negatively influenced by what she sees online and not to believe everything she sees. We do not always know the full picture.

...so happy month of Elul! may we be closer to our best selves.

Hello. I have a history of PCOS, and I am engaged to be married. I’m 25F and my fiancée is 58M. I recently cancelled my insurance because the cost did not make sense for the little usage I had. I’d like to go through the IVF process for health reasons and also would like to choose the gender. What is the best way to go about it? I live in between Miami, NYC, and Puerto Rico, so I’m flexible to do the process in either of these cities. Please let me know how to start looking into which insurance I should start signing up for or looking for. Appreciate it so much! I feel lost and don’t know where to start.

Hi brides! I am planning my wedding for this fall and it was supposed to be an intimate wedding for less than 40 confirmed guests. I had always dreamed of gorgeous ocean/cliff views, and ended up choosing a venue in Monaco with gorgeous elevated views of the water. All of my fiancees guests are based in the northeast US, and my most important family guests are based in Colombia. Initially, they all were enthusiastic to attend in Monaco, but there has been pushback from the elderly guests recently. My grandfather who raised me (76) and my in-laws (82) have started saying how they're afraid to travel at their age and cannot confirm their attendance in advance. We offered to take them on our private plane, full assistance throughout (my fiancee is one of the world's top doctors) and reassured them that we can keep the trip short for them, guaranteeing their comfort and safety- they remain afraid of health complications or accessibility regardless. Also some friends from Colombia consider it difficult to go probably because of budget and also don't feel comfortable with us taking care of their flights.
Personally, my grandfather’s presence is the most important out of all my guests. However, I have always dreamt of feeling like a princess on my wedding day and I don't know of any places in Colombia that could feel as luxurious as Monaco (I know many people like Cartagena but I have bad experiences in that city). My vibe is castle/chateau with a stunning view.
Please let me know of any ideas or opinions on what I can do to get my guests to Monaco and ensure they confirm in advance OR chateau/high-end venues in Colombia.