u/Time-Independence560

i do readings on myself and others pretty frequently, however when it comes to channeling my own bond especially through tarot i’ve been highly unsuccessful, i feel like i just have a lot of blockage regarding him for some reason and i’d be very grateful if a third party could do a reading for me! i feel like i’ll have more success if someone else channels him instead of me. in exchange i’d be happy to do a reading for you in return, or an art/fic request! i can send samples of my drawings and writing in dms, and i can do a really brief reading as a sample so you can see if you’d be happy getting one from me back. i’ll do it all totally for free in return for the reading. i’d really appreciate help from anyone who’s willing cause i desperately need clarity TT

for five to six years now i have had a complicated relationship with this character, at different times i contemplated whether or not it could be a soul bond, though there were other times where i felt convinced it was all in my head. there have been lots of things i interpreted as signs— for example, i literally saw him wherever i went, if i visited shopping malls, i saw merchandise being sold of him or people literally wearing merchandise of him on their person. during episodes, i would block all keywords and tags related to him on social media, yet somehow more posts of him would keep showing up. i would often see things related to him, and when i was younger and this fixation first manifested i had a very vivid dream about him. it’s a weird feeling because whenever i try to put distance between me and the character, somehow everything becomes more intense and i see him more often everywhere, it makes me feel like i’m being told that “even if you avoid me you’re going to keep seeing me.” there was also this specific moment where when i moved into my new apartment a few years ago, the place was completely empty, including my room, except for a small charm in the cabinet of the room i chose for myself which was inscribed with a message, ‘above all else, guide your heart, for everything you do flows from it’. it was pretty jarring for me because this character is closely related with ‘hearts’. the old owner confirmed he did not put it there and none of my family had anything like it either.

i tried to do tarot readings multiple times on the situation which usually came up with inconclusive answers, which is strange because usually whenever i use tarot on any other topics i receive direct answers. most people if i confided in them about it told me that i was most definitely experiencing some kind of delusion, but i feel like there are so many ‘signs’ that there has to be something going on.

my interest in most things usually always fizzles out very quickly, even with real people in my personal life, but with this character it never goes away, no matter how much i try to get rid of it or replace this attachment with other things. i feel like it’s not always good for me either because it causes me a lot of grief to see how popular this character is and this feeling of being ‘trapped’ and not being able to ‘get away’ from him is kind of torture. i guess what i want is confirmation, could these all be coincidences or is there something actually happening? how can i know that it’s real or if im not just trying to make something out of nothing? there have been a myriad of other patterns though i worry the post would get too long.