I feel ashamed by my sexual needs..
It’s a really sensitive topic for me but I’ve never had the courage to talk about with my friends or my sXual partners, so please indulge. I won’t get into details of my intercourses of course. But trigger warning, if you’re sensitive to topics like SA/r4pe or sX in general.
Unfortunately, I was r4ped two times : two different situations with two different men. This occurred in the spawn of 4 months, when I was 16. Before those traumatic events, I already did my first time and tried out sexual stuff.
I also have gone through therapy with a wonderful therapist specialized in SA trauma. However, I was too embarrassed to actually express how much those events affected my sXual life. Nowadays I can’t stop myself for having intercourses with various men. I will be 19, in like 3 days, and I feel like I am so different from my other friends who want to settle with a guy and be a cute couple.
I can do stupid shit just to have sX with a guy, so my needs feels satisfied. And when I can’t do it, I will be turning in my bed frustrated but too ashamed to relieve myself with my hands or whatever..
I don’t really know what to do or who to turn to. But I glad I realized something was wrong with my overly too sXual appetite.
Sorry if it made you uncomfortable..