u/TiramisuAndIcecream

Hey friends!

I caught him yet again. Today we were at a furniture store and he took awhile in the bathroom. When we were driving home I wanted to check up on my elderly in-laws and when I was going to call her his screen popped up showing an “intimate massage” on Craigslist.

I am at a loss for words. He was recently diagnosed with Hypomania and Bipolar. This all came about because for years my husband would call out of work due to “anxiety”, meanwhile I have been in the hustle and grind of balancing work and school for years.

About a month and a half ago I told my husband to see a Psychiatrist so that he can possibly get Adderall or something to help with the anxiety and lack of productivity. He comes home explaining what they diagnosed him with and he was prescribed some strong meds that are given specifically patients with Schizophrenia, Mania, Bipolar, and Extreme Depression. I was in shock and upset, but he was not. I asked him recently how he felt hearing the diagnosis and he said he felt relived and it explains his struggles.

I did pray and seek The Lord, and got Godly counsel so I’m pretty solid on my choice to leave. I can’t stay with an unfaithful perverted man when I have a strong desire to be a mother.

I am not sure how this will all unravel as the Godly Counsel I trust is out of state, and my current leadership are just “Spiritually Bypassing” my husband simply because they see him pray cry and speak in Tongues at the Altar in church.

The deception, lies, and infidelity cannot be blamed on his mental health alone. I feel and suspect that my husband will ride that wave to justify his behavior and further make me look crazy. And sadly some Pastors are so biased and Biblically illiterate that they will side with him.

Thankfully I have a circle that believes me and accurately can interpret God’s Word. I don’t feel convicted to stay if that makes any sense. I am not downplaying my husband’s diagnosis but he physically is so fake that he cannot even park in a handicap parking spot. One time I pulled in one to let him off into a store and he was shaking and screaming at me because it’s “illegal”, which is true I just wanted to let him off closer to the store. I did pull into an open spot as soon as I saw one.

The oxymoron is that he is so rigid with anything public, but he sees PROSTITUTES???? He doesn’t shake and get scared if that ILLEGAL behavior, and he’s definitely not scared of STDs as he had the fungal infection all on and around his genitals months ago.

I feel that this is a cycle of perverted men in the Church protecting each other…..

Christian women BEWARE!!!!!! I do not wish this on anyone.

Hey friends!

I’m still here suffering because I do not have a means of escape. My husband went to a Men’s Breakfast/Bible Study last Saturday.

He sits in the bathroom at church and scrolls Craigslist looking for intimate “massages”. He messages about 10 different women, attends the Men’s Ministry breakfast, and then visits this prostitute to please himself after church.

I know my husband is totally delusional. He loves having a religious reputation. He’s all over me in church, holding my hand, kissing me, smiling at me. From a glance it might seem like he’s a wonderful Godly man.

He is playing in my face, and in my church leaderships face. They do not care about me at all. I am not sure if they even believe me.

My MIL gave him an extra $200 to use for our 8 yr anniversary next weekend. He used $120 of it on his prostitute last Saturday. I am aware he’s just lost. I am aware of the disrespect. He still booked a 2 night getaway for us next weekend.

I am not sure why is he even hanging on to me?!!! If he thinks I’m hideous, just leave me alone?!!!! Why can’t he just be real and say it to my face. He is repulsed by me…… but he wants to act like a consecrated follower of Christ in the eyes of other people by acting like he’s in love with me.

I feel like I’m slowly withering away. I wanted to be a mother and wife and have a happy God fearing family…… but it’s all crumbling and will be over after this divorce.

If I’m being honest I feel hopeless. I can’t help but feel like something must be so wrong with me that I wasn’t able to have a loyal loving husband who I could trust enough to being a child into this world with to raise to love Jesus.

I am such an honest devoted person. I sacrificed it all even when I was dating my husband for his betterment. I did it all so that he could benefit, have goals, and future plans. I helped support him when he was actively Pastoring, jobless, and into this new career transition that will help him make 6 figures very soon.

I feel like I’m a hideous worthless rag. I feel like I was a lamb sent to the slaughter, and my husband sacrificed me for his own betterment. I feel like a puppet that he’s using in his own performance to show the world of how “good” of a man he is. Behind closed doors I am so miserable.

I just dissociate when I’m with him and he tries to act normal. I feel like the man I married is dead, and I’m currently living with Satan.

How and why do men do stuff like this? Why can’t men who have vile sexual desires just stay single so they can do as they please. Why marry a Christian woman or any loyal woman and destroy her?!!!!!!

Hey friends!

My marriage is dead, I am aware of it. If you’re new here I’ve been married 8 years this month, and my husband cheats on me at Asian Massage Parlors and he’s Porn sick. I am planning a safe exit, it’s just taking longer than expected.

Are men motivated by a woman’s beauty? I understand that Christian men will have (or should have) less of a worldly view on women, but they are still driven by looks because they are designed to be more visual.

If a Christian man’s wife is gorgeous, is he motivated to be more Faithful to her? I guess in other words does a wife’s beauty mostly contribute to the loyalty to a man? If his wife is beautiful is he motivated to work harder, make more money to impress her and provide for the family? Is he nicer and kinder because he sees a beautiful face in front of him? Does he get less angry because the pretty face cools him off and takes the edge off him getting angry?

I am just trying to comprehend all of this. I had a conversation with my husband today and he was upset at me. I just told him plainly that I think he has a different sexual preference in looks and I just don’t do it for him, no matter how nice or hard working or loyal I am to him, he just loves beautiful women which I am not in the right caliper because I am just regular?

I need home at feedback because I feel it’s true and most men even Christians aren’t real with themselves to admit it.

Hey friends!

It has been a very long and tiring past 5 months since I have uncovered my husband’s secret addiction to visiting trafficked women to pay for sex at these Asian Massage Parlors. He still goes FYI.

Some days I feel so much comfort from God’s Presence that it helps me get through my day. I try not to ponder on all the people who have failed me, and the failed biased system of church leadership that genuinely care more about protecting their own (since my husband is a credentialed minister), than Biblical principles and the crimes against women and children.

I can’t help but be grieved and think about all the other women who are just like me…..suffered at the hands of an evil and perverted husband who claims to follow Christ but is blatantly living a double life in unrepentant sin. How many women now and in the past were told to be silent and stay just like I was. My heart is really heavy today because this is not what God intended for marriage to be like.

In my marriage……I am not loved. I am not safe. I am not respected. I am not valued. I am not honored. I am not protected. I am just being used for all that I do, my reserved personality, and my lifestyle choices that totally benefit my husband and his religious reputation.

I am still waiting on the Lord, He has ordained my steps. I cannot just jump and leave as I do not have the funds currently. I am dedicated to giving my all in love to my husband as our 8 year marriage and 12 year relationship is coming to a close. God is unfolding things slowly but surely, I am trusting Him to carry me through now and also in my future.

I hope and pray that my husband will change, repent, and fully surrender to Christ once and for all. I wish him the best life, to find an amazing second wife who can love him in ways I wasn’t capable of. I hope God does restore all that he lost, and he going on to be a strong Bondservant of Christ.

I am a Christian wife, and like MANY of you have posted on here about the struggles we face.

Us Christian women sacrifice in the home to serve our husbands, respect them, cover them in prayer, birth children, raise them, and take care of the extended family while work (outside or inside the home).

We desire and crave A PURE LOVE. A love that FORSAKES EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD.

Porn has RUINED marriage. Women are forced to become FBI detectives, tyrants, and police their grown husbands who claim to follow Christ yet indulge in X Rated Adult content, and then emotionally and physically neglect their wives. We can all agree our husbands are such let downs that they sit on the toilet while you’re in another room to watch other naked women.

WHAT DOES PORN DO FOR MEN?

-Makes them hyper sexualize all women and girls to the point that they don’t even notice their wife anymore

-Highest contributor to Erectile Disjunction

-Burns out Dopamine Receptor

-IS SIN, pollutes your relationship with God!

I am so tired. And I know I am not alone. Where are the Christian men who are going to rise up in this generation and be so zealous for Jesus and lead other men to PURITY, to LOVING THEIR WIFE AND ONLY THEIR WIFE, to WORKING DILIGENTLY, to being PRESENT LOVING FATHERS!!!!

What else do men want apart from Jesus Christ and Biblical principles? Nothing else will satisfy!!!!!!!

So why the Porn, Prostitutes, Massage Parlors, Lies!!!!!

Hey Everyone!

I am feeling alot of emotional and spiritual fatigue from the current climate of Church leadership in general. I know Jesus Christ personally, I have been following Him devoutly for years. I have experienced past religious trauma from a multitude of situations that I went through and others I was close to.

Why is it that church leadership at times covers up heinous sin, crime, unethical decisions, and toxic narcissistic behavior amongst themselves?

This is a cycle that needs to seriously BREAK. I am tired of finding out about Pastors that embezzle money, sexually abuse others, have affairs, and physically hurt other people. It is just old. I know that a huge contribution to this is the total absence of HR and accountability. Even still, Christians are not perfect, I get it. We all have fallen short. But as a PASTOR/LEADER/MINISTER, isn’t it common sense to have boundaries set in place to protect not just yourself, your family, but to pick up your cross and crucify your flesh? TO PLEASE CHRIST! To live a consecrated and crucified life? I am not shocked because I have encountered so many corrupt Church Leaders, and my own current Husband that is another story.

But why the cover ups? Why the gaslighting? It breeds ground for these things to continue. Why are women protecting their husbands is they are committing crimes against women and children?!!!!

I am planning my exit, but best believe I have such a fuel and fire in my soul to shake the boat. Jesus Christ is coming back SOOON. We need to start living a Holy life, set apart from the world!!!!!! Enough is enough

Hey everyone!
I want to hear some honestly from you all. A little recap: I met my husband at 19 and he was 26. I had no sexual experience but my husband had a lot prior to our marriage. We’ll be married 8 years now and our sex life has been a major struggle our entire marriage. The past few years I am constantly getting rejected by my husband. I got to the point where I am tired of begging him, and him giving in out of pity. I have tried to communicate that it’s not fair that I have to beg, but any critiques I used to give him he’d reject as if I’m coming at his manhood. We got long periods of time now in-between having sexual contact. Right now it’s almost 2.5 weeks. 2 years ago we went 3 months. That’s when I started keeping an account on when we do it. I felt like I was going crazy. I honestly feel as though my husband may have never been attracted to me. I used to volunteer a lot growing up in church, so when we met I think he capitalized on that because he was a Pastor. I feel he was just drawn to me because I loved to serve The Lord in any way. I’m not musically included (which was very idolized in my church circle), but I used to do anything when it comes to anything else. I simply saw it as an honor and privilege to serve God. He’s currently not serving in the ministry and I guess has no incentive in his mind to be loyal to me.

All this so say is there any woman out there that feels the same way I do years later? That their husbands married them for religious/ reputation purposes not because they love you for you and are truly sexually attracted to you? I tired my best all these years but it feels like a losing battle. I’m not overweight I’m 5ft 135lbs so I’m very much normal. I do my hair, wear makeup, and dress up. I workout when I can. So it’s not like I totally let myself go at all. I mean I could be more muscular, but my husband gained quite a bit of weight and I don’t care at all. He’s beautiful to me even though he’s chubby now. I’m not picky as long as his blood work comes back normal and he’s healthy and stays active.

So hey guys! I’m a NonTrad student applying this cycle. I am terrified of the LORs due to me being in a large a university which most of my classes were 200+ students. I have to now rekindle with professors that barely remember me. I am needing to come up with a plan. I think the new LOR “scoring” is not fair and an unnecessary barrier especially for NonTrad students.

Any opinions or advice?

Hey friends! So an update, his behavior is still ongoing. I haven’t spoke to my church leadership Since January when I first found out. Clearly they were trying to protect him, and don’t seem to take infidelity seriously (possibly because my husband is a pastor, is seeing prostitutes, or they don’t know how to handle this). He still doesn’t know that I know. He constantly has brain fog, confusion, and panic attacks. He frequently does heavy breathing exercises, especially when we are together. Even if we’re sitting in silence in the car, he starts the breathing exercises.

Some nights I tremble. I do dissociate at times when he tries to act normal in our day to day lives. I feel much better when I’m at work or school, any time away from him really. I am still strategically trying get out.

Though I am so broken hearted, I feel Jesus Christ near to me. I feel His love filling every void and deep hurt I have in my heart towards my husband. My husband has been in a car accident recently, and now is sick. I take care of him. I cook, clean, and do all I can to love him still. This is very hard for me, but he’s a broken soul that only God can restore.

I’ve been having dreams lately of me and Jesus laying in a field of flowers and just talking. I feel a lot of comfort from The Lord in this time. I am not angry anymore. I just want to be with my Lord and Savior, serve Him, and Honor Him. I always dreamed of being a mother, but I do not know what my future holds. I feel like I just let it go into God’s hands.

As things unfold, I just have to trust God.