u/TomahawkA5

Red, red, and more red is separated, and then coagulated. There were two throughout, but at the end, only one remains.

Hint #1 - this is the furthest thing from a horror movie.

Hint 2:
Jigsaw is the biggest clue in the whole description

Hint 3: This movie is perfect for fans of movies such as: Butter, Searching for Bobby Fischer, The King of Kong

Not only that, the have to fight blind! Hell yeah! But then the American whites turn brown. Crap! All is lost. No chance they can win now that they're brown. Hooray! The browns turned back to whites just in time and America wins! U-S-A! U-S-A!

A sister tries to kill the half sister. The Mother tries to kill the brother. Then the sister kills the mother. Then the brother kills the sister. Then the brother kills the father. Then mother comes back.

Hint 1: I really thought someone would get this right away just from the first line.** **

Hint 2 cause it’s almost bedtime: this movie does not take place on Earth

If you have lots of time to watch, catch the wind and set off! 

Hint: my description is full of clues.

Hint #2: Okay, I think I see the problem. If I were to speak the clue to you, I think most of you would get it. But just reading it may be causing confusion. (4:50 pm PST)

If no one gets it by about 8 PM PST I’ll do a final one word hint to clarify hint number two that should solve it for you.

The smaller iguana looks over at the hulking tortoise and thinks, well, it’s worth a shot.

The large iguana watches the smaller iguana approach the tortoise. After a brief conversation, he starts doing her from behind. To his surprise, the sex lasts for nine straight hours. The large iguana can hardly believe what he's witnessing.

Exhausted, the small iguana finally makes his way back and says, “Well, I did it.”

“Damn right you did!” says the big iguana. “I didn’t think you had a chance, but what impressed me most was your endurance. How did you go for nine straight hours?”

“Well, to be fair, the sex only lasted about five minutes at the end.”

“Huh? What were you doing the rest of the time?”

“Chiseling through the shell.” 

An elderly assistant helps the hero on their quest. The hero’s sidekick is also a type of bird. When they finally face the bad guy, it turns out to be a plant and is actually the good guy.

His older family member is there for advice, but is far more skeptical about the situation. All the bad things happen mainly because of a magical beverage with an unrealistic promise. This time, there's no redemption for Charlie and he suffers the consequences. Be careful, Charlie! you're in a small glass enclosure! 

Sir Charge.

The protagonist really gets from point A to point B in a unique way. At the end, all the protagonist wants is to end up at a large body of water with their love interest.

Everyone is like: ‘did he just disappear?’

Harry Kane takes a drink and mutters, “Fuckin refs.”

Jude Bellingham mutters, “Fuckin Messi.”

The coach looks over and says, “Well, if either of you had this idea before the match, we might not be in this predicament.”

“It’s hammerhead.”

“Hi Hammerhead. What’ll it be?”

The shark says, “I can’t have alcohol. I’m a shark. It’d kill me. I’m actually a handyman. See? My head is a goddam hammer. Got any work?”

“Well there’s a leaky pipe in the basement.”

“On it.”

The shark goes to the basement and comes back a few minutes later. “All fixed,” he says.

“Wow! That’s great. What do I owe you?”

“Hammerheads don’t need money. You got any pork?”

“Pork? No.”

“Well, then you have to give me a blowjob.”

“A blowjob??”

“Like I said, it’s ham-or-head.”

He arrives at the pearly gates and says, “I must admit I’m a little surprised to be here. How did I get into Heaven after all those awful things I did?”

Saint Peter looks at him and says, “There are an awful lot of Jews up here. You’re not gonna believe how much they love complaining.”

Hint: this is not at all an obscure movie

“So,” says the man, “I heard you got remarried.”

“That’s right,” she says.

The man smirks. “And how does he like your sorry excuse for cooking?”

“Oh, he likes it just fine,” she says.

“And how does he like your god-awful blowjobs?”

“Oh, he likes them just fine,” she says.

“Yeah? And how does he like that tired, worn-out old pussy?”

“Oh, he likes it just fine,” she says. “Once he gets past the tired, worn-out part.”

Ruben reads the invitation, then hands it back to his wife in disgust. “No vay in hell are ve going!”
“What? Why not?”
“They have some nerve. Read vhat it says at the bottom.”
“RSVP? So what?”
“So they only invited us for one reason––Remember Sending Vedding Presents!” 

INT. SPACEBALL 1- NIGHT? DAY? Who knows? It’s space.

COLONEL SANDERS leads a handcuffed CASSIAN ANDOR to DARK HELMET.

Colonel Sanders: Sir, we’ve captured this rebel spy.

Dark Helmet: Excellenet work, Sanders. What’s your name, rebel scum?

Andor: Cassian Andor.

Dark Helmet: Yes…?

Andor: Huh?

Dark Helmet: What’s your other name?

Andor: What other name?

Dark Helmet: You said your name was Cassian Andor. Cassian and/or what? 

Andor: Cassian Andor nothing.

Dark Helmet: Cassian and/or no name at all? Does this make sense to you, Sanders?

Colonel Sanders: I’m very confused, sir.

Andor: It’s not confusing. My name is Cassian Andor!

Dark Helmet: Cassian AND/OR WHAT???

Andor: Cassian Andor that’s it!

Dark Helmet: Then cut out the And/Or and just be Cassian!

Andor: I can’t! 

Dark Helmet: Why?

Andor: Because Andor is much cooler! Cassian sounds like a character in A Chorus Line.

Colonel Sanders: I know her. She’s Cassie.

Andor: That’s not her fault. I gave her my bean burrito before the audition. And/or some nachos.