Things I Wish I Had Known Before Living in Manila (Based on My Personal Experience)
Hi everyone, I'm a 30-year-old European (I know saying European is a generalization, but I just want to provide some context), male, and married to a Filipina of the same age. We dated for six years, and now we've been married for one. I just want to make it clear that we met organically while traveling, and we genuinely fell in love. It had nothing to do with the typical "old white dude meets young Filipina" stereotype. I don't want this to be interpreted as any kind of moral superiority. I just think it's relevant to the overall message I want to convey. Furthermore, this is an edited version of a post I made months ago. I'm reposting it to add more depth and because one of the mods removed it. When I asked why, I never heard back from him, so I hope this time the post is allowed to stay up.
Again, this post is totally based on my experience. It has nothing to do with absolute opinions or generalizations about the group commonly referred to as "expats." These are some truths I wish I had known before coming to Manila and living here as a foreigner. Maybe you won't agree, but this is what I've concluded after spending years in real contact with Filipino society.
Manila Is Not Living-Friendly
I don't want to be harsh on the city that adopted me, but Manila/Metro Manila (a lot of expats/foreigners don't know the difference) is a chaotic concrete jungle where nothing seems to work properly. Services are bad, public transportation is awful, pollution levels are crazy, temperatures are high year-round, traffic is insane, and the healthcare system has many shortcomings, just to name a few basics. Basically, Manila is just a machine that somehow keeps pushing forward despite everything else.
International Filipino and Local Filipino
I always make a distinction between what I call the international Filipino and the local Filipino. The international Filipino has normally traveled, experienced the world, and often studied at one of the four main universities in Manila. I think this makes them more open to meeting and connecting with foreigners. That said, truly becoming part of international Filipino circles takes time and effort, as they're normally closed groups coming from the same socioeconomic level. However, if you can overcome the initial barrier, they can open new doors for you in the business and leisure worlds.
The local Filipino, on the other hand, has normally never traveled abroad, so the only reality they know is the Filipino way. Not wanting to be harsh here, but I think the Filipino way has lost a lot of its identity over the last few decades and has clung more to its negative aspects. And that's not me saying it. Multiple lolos, lolas, ninongs, and ninangs I've met in different environments, gatherings, and events have come to the same conclusion.
Both groups have good and bad qualities, but as a foreigner, you'll generally have much more success with the first group if you're looking for genuine friendships.
The Difference Between Classes
I know some people will disagree with this, but the difference between social classes is massive, especially in Manila, and the gaps are getting bigger with the recession the country is facing in 2026 and will probably continue facing until at least the first trimester of 2027.
Many Filipinos claim that there's an established middle class in Manila, but I don't think they really understand what a middle class actually is. Having a car and a phone doesn't automatically make you middle class. If you finish the month barely surviving and saving nothing, you're not middle class. If you look at the government's data, it claims that only around 30% of the population in Manila can be considered poor. I strongly disagree with this classification, and when I researched the studies more deeply, I couldn't find anything confirming that the data was independently verified by multiple non-governmental institutions.
From my perspective, the classes in Manila are roughly: millionaires (1%), rich (4%), middle class and slowly disappearing (20%), working poor (45%), and people living below the poverty line (30%). These aren't official numbers, just my personal observations.
Security and Fearmongering
This will generate a lot of controversy, and I know I'm exposing myself to backlash, but Manila is a fairly secure city. Let me explain. If you know where you are, where you're going, and what time it is, you should be fine. It's crazy how you see headlines like "Two American citizens robbed and stabbed at 5 AM in the middle of Poblacion," and my reaction is always, "No waaay,". Trust me, if you were in Makati at 8 PM having dinner, this would be much less likely to happen to you.
You live in the real world. You know you're a target, so don't be so dumb as to make yourself an easy target. Be aware of your surroundings, research places before going, be mindful of your belongings, and ask your local connections for advice. In fact, what's crazy to me is how these basics aren't applied by foreigners who are thousands of kilometers away from home. Get into dirty business, and you'll get stained. Easy as that.
Scams and Corruption
Again, welcome to the real world. A big percentage of Pinoys struggle month to month to make ends meet, and trying to earn a bit of extra money by increasing prices based on how you look or making fake "buy one, get two" offers is part of everyday life. Wake up and be aware of where you buy things and what you find on the internet. But trust me, with a quick double-check or by asking a mate, 95% of scams can be very easily avoided.
But let me be clear: this is not condoning scams at all. In fact, scams are a big part of why Filipinos' quality of life is declining. If you're Filipino and reading this (I know there are a lot of Pinoys here), you should be the first one to be mad about scams.
And finally, yes, an underdeveloped economy facing a recession and an increasing population is the perfect breeding ground for corruption. I know you'll think this is deeply pessimistic, but my dear expat, there's not much you can do about it, and it seems that most Pinoys have given up on the cause.
Filipinos Are Why You'll Stay in Manila
Despite Manila not being an ideal place to live, Filipinos are amazing people. They're incredibly fun to be around and very kind. But like everywhere else, don't mistake someone being kind for someone being a real friend. For me, it's shocking how people say things like, "Yes, when I arrived here, everyone was so kind to me, but now that I'm past this stage, I've discovered the real Filipinos." Come on, dude, you're a foreigner, and if you truly want to call a Filipino your friend, you need to put in the effort. Real effort.
Never forget that you'll always be a foreigner, so it's your responsibility to do your best to become part of their lives, not the other way around. Please let me emphasize this: if you don't make a real effort, you'll never build genuine Filipino friendships, as Filipinos are very group-oriented. If you're not interested or not in the right place mentally to invest in that, it's much easier to socialize with other foreigners.
But then the question I always ask is: Why would you live in Manila if you don't want to make Filipino friends?
Love
Oh... where do I start? Most foreigner-Filipina couples you see in Manila are usually an older, wealthier foreigner and a young Filipina from a poor background. And let me tell you, in most of the cases, it's simply a transaction.
But if you're a young foreigner like me and you're looking for genuine love, I think the only way you'll find it is by having real things in common with the other person.
This may sound harsh, but I think you need similar educational backgrounds, a similar social class within Manila rather than in your home country, and similar interests and ambitions, such as being career-oriented, loving to travel, or sharing the same curiosity about the world. If your salary makes you rich in Manila, then you're rich in Manila, regardless of whether you'd be middle class in Europe or the US.
Party
Partying in Manila is incredibly fun, and even if this sounds harsh, as a European, you're playing on easy mode.
Simply being white will attract a lot of attention from girls. If you dress well, even more girls will approach you. If you're fit or good-looking, even more.
I've been living in the Philippines for quite a while, and every time one of my friends visits me, it doesn't matter whether they're considered attractive back in Europe or not. They have no problem attracting very beautiful Filipinas here.
Making Foreigner Money
If you're earning euros or dollars while living in Manila, and it's considered a decent salary back home, you can live like a king here, as long as you're responsible with your money. Go wherever you want, eat wherever you want, enjoy any activity you like, party, play sports, you name it. At the same time, this isn't for everyone, as life here can become boring very fast.
But let me emphasize the importance of being financially smart. For example, I met a guy from the US who was making good money remotely while living in Manila. When he lost his job, he decided to continue living his "king lifestyle" because he had savings.
Five months later, he was packing his bags because once he started looking for work locally, the salaries were nowhere near what he had been earning before.
Be Respectful
It's very easy as a foreigner to lose touch with real Filipino society. Most of us earn significantly more than the average Filipino and, as a result, enjoy a much better lifestyle. That doesn't mean you should lose your connection with the country you're living in or start treating people poorly just because you're in a higher economic class.
You're a foreigner, and Filipinos are welcoming you into their country, so it's your responsibility to treat them with the utmost respect. I always make a special effort to treat everyone who's providing me with a service well: security guards in buildings and malls, bartenders, coaches, restaurant workers, waiters, everyone. These people are serving you, and you should be grateful.
If you show Filipinos genuine kindness and respect, you'll be surprised by how much love they'll give back in return.
Thank you for reading my post! If you want to discuss any of these points or have any questions, I'm totally open to answering them. Again, this is based on my personal experience, so if you disagree with me, I'd appreciate it if you shared your perspective respectfully, and we can have a good discussion about it.