Things I Wish I Had Known Before Living in Manila (based on my personal experience)
Hi everyone, I'm a 30-year-old European M married to a Filipina of the same age. First, we dated for 6 years, and now we've been married for one. I just want to make it clear that we met organically while traveling, and we genuinely fell in love. It had nothing to do with the typical "old white dude meets young Filipina" stereotype.
Based on my experience here, there are some truths that I wish I had known before coming to Manila and living here as a foreign expat. Maybe you won't agree, but this is what I've concluded after spending years in real contact with Filipino society.
Manila is not a good place to live
I don't want to be harsh on the city that adopted me, but Manila is a chaotic concrete jungle where nothing seems to work properly. Services are bad, public transportation is awful, pollution levels are crazy, temperatures are high year-round, traffic is insane, and the healthcare system has many shortcomings, just to name a few basics. Basically, Manila is just a machine that somehow keeps pushing forward despite everything else.
International Filipino and Local Filipino
I always make the distinction between what I call the international Filipino and the local Filipino.
The international Filipino has normally traveled, experienced the world, and often studied at one of the four main universities in Manila. I think this makes them more open to meeting and connecting with foreigners.
The local Filipino, on the other hand, has normally never traveled abroad, so the only reality they know is the Filipino way.
Both groups have good and bad qualities, but as a foreigner you'll generally have much more success with the first group if you're looking for genuine friendships.
The difference between classes
I know some people will disagree with this, but the difference between social classes is massive, especially in Manila.
Many Filipinos claim that there's an established middle class in Manila, but I don't think they really understand what a middle class actually is. Having a car and a phone doesn't automatically make you middle class. If you finish the month surviving but saving nothing, you're not middle class.
From my perspective, the classes in Manila are roughly:
Millionaires: 1%
Rich: 4%
Middle class (and slowly disappearing): 5%
Working poor: 60%
People living below the poverty line: 30%
These aren't official numbers, just my personal observation.
Filipinos are why you'll stay in Manila
Despite Manila not being a great place to live, Filipinos are amazing people. They're incredibly fun to be around and very kind.
But like everywhere else, don't mistake someone being kind for someone being a real friend.
You're a foreigner, and if you truly want to call a Filipino your friend, you need to put in the effort. Never forget that you'll always be a foreigner, so it's your responsibility to do your best to become part of their lives.
Please let me emphasize this: if you don't make a real effort, you'll never build genuine Filipino friendships.
If you're not interested or not in the right place mentally to invest in that, it's much easier to socialize with other foreigners.
But then the question I always ask is: Why would you live in Manila if you don't want to make Filipino friends?
Love
Oh... where do I start?
Most foreigner-Filipina couples you see in Manila are usually an older, wealthier foreigner and a young Filipina from a poor background. And let me tell you, in many cases it's simply a transaction.
But if you're a young foreigner like me and you're looking for genuine love, I think the only way you'll find it is by having real things in common with the other person.
This may sound harsh, but I think you need:
• Similar educational backgrounds.
• A similar social class within Manila, not in your home country. (If your salary makes you rich in Manila, then you're rich in Manila, regardless of whether you'd be middle class in Europe or the US.)
• Similar interests and ambitions, such as being career-oriented, loving to travel, or sharing the same curiosity about the world.
Party
Partying in Manila is incredibly fun, and even if this sounds harsh, as a European, you're playing on easy mode.
Simply being white will attract a lot of attention from girls. If you dress well, even more girls will approach you. If you're fit or good-looking, even more.
I've been living in the Philippines for quite a while, and every time one of my friends visits me, it doesn't matter whether they're considered attractive back in Europe or not, they have no problem attracting very beautiful Filipinas here.
Learn where you are
Manila is massive, but certain areas are well known for specific things.
For example, Poblacion is the red-light district combined with the main bar and club area. It's affordable, lively, and can get pretty crazy.
BGC, on the other hand, is the modern, upscale, and fancy part of the city.
Know where you are, know what time it is, and always understand the risks that come with your decisions.
Making foreigner money
If you're earning Euros or Dollars while living in Manila, and it's considered a decent salary back home, you can live like a king here, as long as you're responsible with your money.
Go wherever you want, eat wherever you want, enjoy any activity you like, party, play sports, you name it. At the same time this is not for everyone, as life here can become boring very fast.
But let me emphasize the importance of being financially smart.
For example, I met a guy from the US who was making good money remotely while living in Manila. When he lost his job, he decided to continue living his "king lifestyle" because he had savings.
Five months later, he was packing his bags because once he started looking for work locally, the salaries were nowhere near what he had been earning before.
Be respectful
It's very easy as a foreigner to lose touch with real Filipino society.
Most of us earn significantly more than the average Filipino and, as a result, enjoy a much better lifestyle.
That doesn't mean you should lose connection with the country you're living in or start treating people poorly just because you're in a higher economic class.
You're a foreigner, and Filipinos are welcoming you into their country, so it's your responsibility to treat them with the utmost respect.
I always make a special effort to treat well everyone who's providing me with a service, security guards in buildings and malls, bartenders, karaoke staff, restaurant workers, waiters, everyone.
These people are serving you, and you should be grateful.
If you show Filipinos genuine kindness and respect, you'll be surprised how much love they'll give back in return.
Thank you for reading my post! If you want to discuss any of these points or have any questions, I'm totally open to answering them. Again, this is based on my personal experience, so if you disagree with me, I'd appreciate it if you shared your perspective respectfully, and we can have a good discussion about it.