u/TonyAtlas840

I am 36, married with young children. Dual income high earners. Grew up poor and taught myself everything I know about finance (not much). I’m very good at my job but I know I’m not maximizing my returns.

I have a fairly strong 401k for my age, especially combined with my wife’s.

A post caught my eye regarding NEO funds that yields in the double digits. While not specifically looking at NEO, I’d like to find a balance between yielding a strong return and protecting my principal.

I have a separate brokerage that’s done very well, but have about $500k earning a little over 3% right now (HYSA).

If you were in my shoes, trying to limit risk while yielding 7-8%….how would you build your portfolio? Is this even possible?

I want to retire early enough to enjoy how hard I’ve worked to go from nothing to where I am. I also want to continue to be able to provide an incredible life for my kids and not waste the potential of the wealth I’ve built so far.

Any and all advice welcome! Thank you in advance.

Tomorrow is 10 weeks since I quit kratom. I am so proud of myself. As I’ve said in the past, I used for over 7 years and quit over 20 times. Made it anywhere from 48 hours to 14 days. Had a stint with 7oh and then finished the last period of time on about 35g.

I finally feel energy, motivation, happiness, and everything else that comes along with sobriety. I haven’t had to take 5pm nap from a crash in 6 days.

Life is moving on and I’m getting into great shape - I finally look and feel alive. I don’t know that I’ve hit 100% but maybe closer to 90%. Havent had a bad wave in 5 or so days - just consistent, regular life.

Will update again when I get some more time under my belt. Wishing everybody good luck moving forward in their journey to putting this garbage beyond them.

Trying not to post too often, but will be doing a 60 day update next week since it is a big milestone. I hate that I feel amazing at the least necessary times. I’ve had some bad days this past week, but today was better.

Around 8pm, after I brought my kids to dinner, then the urgent care, then read them both books and put them to bed….I suddenly came out of the funk and felt amazing. So good that I got up and went to my garage gym to lift and hit a new PR in weight/reps doing chest. Just finished and I feel like I’m back 100% to my best self. Even when I get a good daytime workout in, I don’t feel the way I do now.

I think the next month is going to be a lot of high highs and low lows, but overall trending up.

Feel very accomplished to have not taken the capsules I randomly found when I was at one of my very “low lows”. During any other quit I have had (20+ attempts but much shorter lived) I would have said F it and immediately regretted it). I will never put myself or my family through what we’ve been through these last few months again.

Can’t wait to see what the future brings for sober me (and all of you).

Today is officially the end of week 7. I can’t say PAWS hasn’t hit me, but I can say the past 2-3 days it has markedly improved.

I am sleeping 8 hours with ease. The 5pm complete crash is slowly fading away, but I am still fighting a bit with motivation and at times sluggishness.

On the flip side life is a million times better in every other way. I have put on a lot of muscle and I’m lifting every day. Getting really strong in every muscle group - almost twice the weight I was using for the 3 big lifts.

Hoping the trajectory continues and this motivation issue clears up so I can fully feel back to normal. I feel about 80% by now.

Will do another check in post at week 8 unless something worth discussing comes up.

Good luck to everybody else on this journey!

If you asked me if I would be where I’m at in recovery on June 26th when I first quit, I’d have thought that I would have failed within the first 3-4 days.

I am unbelievably grateful for this community - especially the people who took the time to comment, encourage, and give me advice.

42 days later….its 5am. I’m stone cold sober, slept 7+ hours and woke up feeling the most refreshed I have in a very long time.

I had a couple sluggish days this past week but that can be at least partially attributed to traveling to 4 states the week prior and catching some type of sickness on my way home.

Heading down to get a quick workout in now before my kids wake up. I hope every single one of you makes some progress today. I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m so proud of making it to this point.

I have taken 9 flights in 10 days and slept very little. Wedding, work trips, funeral of a friend. Now I’m working today after a nightmare of flight delays and very little sleep from getting home late.

The thought crossed my mind and very quickly I walked into my wife’s office and said “I’m not to leave this house today”. Even without her around, I have shut the idea in my head down completely.

I just drank some electrolytes and I’m doing what I can at this point, trying to have some grace for myself.

I’m not throwing everything away. Worked too hard. The crazy part is I don’t even know that this is PAWS and it’s more than likely caused in majority by how busy I’ve been.

One day at a time. Tomorrow, I will be back saying day 39.

My biggest issue right now is that my wife doesn’t understand how I can still be impacted. We had a long talk about how hard this has been on her last night - and while I acknowledged it and apologized, I also want her to understand how hard I am working.

We agreed there is never going to be a mutual understanding of the level of difficulty for either of us. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be an addict, I don’t know what it’s like to be married to one.

I didn’t say this, but in my head, i feel like I’ve been doing a fair amount. IE - I wake up with the kids early and help get them ready for camp/school. I work all day and crash for about an hour or two, which is admittedly a tough time of day for handling the children. I still bathed them, put their pajamas and put one to bed.

One of the things she said exhausts her is not knowing what she will get out of me in the evening. She’s a great mom/wife and I love her to death. I did do my family wrong by getting addicted to kratom, but I wish she knew how hard I’m working. I don’t know what the statistic is but I know it’s not a very high percentage of people who make it this far.

Just venting…thanks for listening and good luck.

My wife and I are 35. Both have high paying jobs w/ young kids (all 4 and under).

• paid off $1.7M house
• my 401k is ~$500k and hers is $275k
• $835k brokerage
• $55k cash
• She makes $300k and mine is variable. I made around $900k last year, this year closer to $550k

I still manage our finances/brokerage account. Nobody taught me anything about money until I was 27.

What recommendations do those of you who have done extremely well financially have?

ETA: Should I put this is another sub? I don’t necessarily want to retire early, but maybe FIRE. My goal is to have financial freedom and leave my kids set up with a great financial foundation.

Heading to the gym. Nothings changed since my last post at day 28 except maybe some additional sleep improvement.

Did a lot yesterday - lunch with an old friend, playground with the kids and a wedding.

Give me my damn chip! 😉

This morning marks my 4th week off of Kratom I haven’t been able to get past day 14 since I started almost 8 years ago.

Feel incredible. Last night was awesome - I had dinner with my family, put the kids to bed, helped my wife with some things, lifted heavy weights in my garage, showered and got into bed feeling like a regular person for the first time in almost a DECADE.

I’ve had probably 20-25 legitimate failed quits that have lasted 2-7 days and that one 2 week quit.

Very proud of myself. Also up 10lbs on the scale (little muscle little fat and happy about both).

I am excited to hit 30 days, but 4 weeks also feels huge.

Good luck to everybody going through this. I’m an addict in every way shape and form - doesn’t matter what it is, it’s just my personality. If I can do it, you can as well.

Checking in again. I’m mostly normal, just a little flat.

I did my first actual weightlifting session and was kinda blown away. I was dumbbell pressing 20lbs more in each hand for an extra 5 reps. Pre kratom I was pretty jacked, post kratom really skinny.

I would work up the energy to lift once a week or so and was very weak. It’s wild to me that without picking up a weight and just by quitting kratom im that much stronger. Wish I started lifting earlier in my quit. Excited to see everything come together over the next 30-60 days.

People are commenting on my appearance - my hair looks fuller, my eyes don’t have bags under them.

Just need to get through this last bit of fatigue and flatness, but I’d say on day 24 that I am 75-80% back to normal. Acutes have been gone for a while now.

Good luck fellow quitters. Life is already so much better. I’ll probably stop posting so often after I hit 30 days, but I’ll be sticking around trying to support others.

I just got my hormone panel back. Was considering TRT because I had lost a lot of weight and had symptoms of low T.

I’m blown away. My total testosterone was 1000 and the clinic said because I had blood drawn late in the day, it’s probably 20-30% higher. Meaning 1200-1300 which is out of range on the top end.

I wonder if it’s rebound/spike from being off for 3 weeks or if I’m just genetically like this. Idk if it’s possible for test to just fly off the radar because of withdrawal.

Either way, shocked and amazed. Still waiting for estradiol and prolactin which can both cause libido and mood issues. Will report back.

Late 30s male btw.

I know I’m getting better. I know this because today was the first day in a while that I didn’t have my 5pm “I’m useless” to my family and the world” crash.

I made dinner, I cleaned up, I read bedtime stories to my daughter without counting the seconds until it’d be done. I enjoyed holding her and didn’t want to just run to my bed and rot/doom scroll.

I don’t expect every day to be like this, but more likely a step back, a step forward until gradually the bad evenings get less and the good ones more.

I posted in the daily check in thread about how I was waiting for my after work crash and I’m so happy it didn’t happen.

We will see what tomorrow brings, but ain’t no damn way I’m putting Kratom in my body.

I wanted my life back and I’m getting it. Thankful for this sub, and thankful for a chance at real happiness.

So happy to make it this far - hasn’t been rainbows and butterflies but it’s so worth it.

I’m definitely in a weird stage. I can sleep, wake up and get the kids ready, work (sales job - talk to people all day). By the time 530 to 6pm rolls around I am absolute toast.

I remember this from when I CTd suboxone and b Enzos. The shitty part is that I have two kids and I’m trying to make my wife understand how hard it is for me to be engaged/helpful.

Doing everything I can to work through it and hoping continues to get better every day. She struggles to understand why I can devote myself to my job and not doing things around the house in the evening.

Well, after making it this long, I know I can’t ever go back. There is something that goes off in your head that says “holy shit if I’m still feeling the effects of quitting this far out, I can never put my my body, my brain, or my family through this again.

Keep trucking folks. Even my worst day lately has been better than my best day using.

Amazing day yesterday. Took my kid to an organized sport, got smoothies after, went and took my family shopping and then to dinner. I didn’t “feel great” in every moment, but being able to do all that sober was awesome.

Appetite is back - had 3,200 pretty clean calories yesterday.

I made a post a few days ago about libido. Got my first morning wood since day 1&2 this morning.

Going to play golf in a bit….ill eventually stop with the every day posts. I’m somewhat just talking to myself here. I’d like to read all of these when the bad cravings come. I know they will, but I can’t ruin the work I’ve put in for myself and my family.

Officially outpaced my longest quit in 7+ years. I’ve never been off this shit for more than 14 days.

Today is day 15. My wife finally told me she’s proud of me last night.

That’s all…F Kratom.

Nothing to say outside of this:

• I made it to two weeks. This is tied for my longest without daily dosing in. WHEN (not if) I make it through today, I will officially be off for longer than I have in 7 f’ing years (2,555 days)
• I feel great this morning. Best morning yet - don’t have the usual awful cortisol spike/anxiety.

Have a great day fellow quitters!

I have been posting a lot and having some really good days. I’m so excited to hit 2 weeks, then 3, and keep going.

It’s weird…day 1 & 2 my libido flew. It was wild. But ever since then it is completely gone.

I’ve used daily since 2019 with a few breaks. First time touching it was when I moved to FL in 2017, so long time user.

Never did really high daily doses until the last year.

Most things are honestly great right now. What I am so curious about is when the long term/high dose users ended up getting their libido back.

Last time I hit my longest streak (14 days) my balls felt heavy and my libido was in overdrive. Sorry for the language ladies.

Men, any input? I know everybody is different.

Had another pretty good day yesterday. It’s not easy working in such a social environment (in person presentations, sales calls, ect). Definitely get some anxiety, but it’s doable. Maybe even less anxiety than I had on Kratom, just a different kind.

For all the people who are worried about work off Kratom, I have found that I’m already more productive because using made me so disorganized. I wouldn’t say I was more productive in the first 5 days, but ever since, I’ve felt better at my job.

It’s scary at first but if you just realize you have to do it and get going, it’s not that bad.

I still wake up and have that morning anxiety/cortisol spike for the first hour or so, but the day gradually gets better.

Sitting here with my kids watching cartoons right now as I type this. Once I make it through today and tomorrow, it will be the longest I’ve been off this shit since 2019.

Not many other real updates but I want to post relatively often just to get my thoughts out there and maybe give some encouragement.

Here’s to another day off this garbage plant.

I noticed something today. My skin was always so dry - I would shave and see flakey skin on my chin, look in the mirror and see flakey skin under my eyebrows, and had awful dandruff.

Looked in the mirror this morning and my face was GLISTENING. Like the oil that was trapped for years is finally coming out.

Today I led conference calls, participated in big meetings on camera, and had probably 30 phone conversations (in sales). I def had some of that anxiety you can feel in your stomach and chest, but I’m amazed at how well I performed today.

I have always gone back to kratom because I thought I couldn’t do my very demanding job without it. Today certainly gave me some confidence.

Appetite is coming back as well and honestly I hope I gain 20lbs in the next 2 months. I’m frail and I use to be so muscular. I don’t even care if it’s mostly fat - at least I’ll look healthier.

I have powerful conversations with my wife again. Meaningful discussions about life, goals, how I’m feeling (I’ve been open about my addiction).

Trust me, life ain’t perfect and I know this could turn or I could have a moment of weakness at any point. Just wanted to share that I’m getting some of my old self back and experiencing a handful of positives already.