AITA for being mad at my mother for inviting my ex-husband, his current wife and my ex mother in law for a coffee?
My mother is old (70s) but had a good relationship with my ex husband and was friendly (not quite friends) with my ex mother in law.
I am in my 50s and have 4 adult children with my ex. My mother told me she invited my ex husband, his current wife and my ex mother in law for a coffee / tea at her place. I was obviously gobsmacked given that my ex and I did not have a good divorce and my mother knows what he has been saying about me to people. I got mad at her and told her that what in the word was she thinking? I understand maybe inviting my ex but his current wife? We got into a fight and I haven’t talked to her since and have been ignoring her calls.
Her reasoning was that she does have a good relationship with all her children’s exes and that he is the father of four of her grandchildren after all. I’m actually very hurt. I shared this with my friend and she said that it’s my mother’s house and she can invite whoever she wants. This got me thinking if I’m maybe being dramatic over this whole situation. My friend was also good friends with my ex husband so I want to know a third person’s opinion on this matter.
Adding more info: (copy paste of my reply to a comment - with typo edited)
So my husband divorced me out of nowhere. No prior fight, no nothing. Just one day he decided he wanted to divorce me. Even at the proceedings he didn’t give a proper reason.
He has been telling our mutual friends and family that I was a bad mother and neglected his needs. He is a very traditional man and wouldn’t get a glass of water by himself. And I was a stay at home mom of 4 kids. The kids are very close in age (a year or two apart). I dropped everything, my job, career for my kids. My adult kids also hangs out with me on the daily now but does not talk much with my ex so I don’t understand how I am a bad mother when none of my kids have said it.
He’s also telling people that I should give him back all the money he spent on me while we were married (he is struggling financially now) also talking about our sex life and things i obviously wouldn’t want anyone else to know. These stories have reached my kids too which sucks.
+ also about the current wife, I have no personal issue with her. She’s not rude to me or my kids. This is the second woman he has been with since our divorce. He got together with her 3-4 months after our divorce so I can’t say that he was cheating on me with her or not.
Edit #2: ok I’m adding another edit to add more information: my mother has a very social life. She has lots of friends and family that’s over constantly. I live next door so I am over all the time as well. There’s almost never a time where people aren’t over. My mother also has a lot of pen pals she’s on the phone with. I have deliberately not moved away just so my mother is close enough if she needs me.
My ex husband and my divorce finalized in January 2025. He got remarried in September 2025. My ex also badmouthed our children in court just to portray me as a bad mother. I shared all of this with my mother. And she knows this.