Would this question have you pause?
I 27F recently started talking to someone 31M with the intention of marriage. We both are Arab Muslims living in the UK for context. We were asking each other the usual questions to get to know one another, and he asked if I’ve ever had a boyfriend before. I haven’t, and I didn’t really think anything of that question.
But then he followed it up by asking whether I’ve “had a past” or ever done anything sexual with anyone.
I answered honestly and told him I’ve never had an emotional or physical relationship with anyone, but the question itself still felt a little off-putting to me, especially this early on.
I understand wanting to know whether someone has had previous relationships when you’re getting to know them for marriage, but asking specifically about whether I’ve done anything sexual felt more invasive.
For other Muslims who have gone through the marriage process, would this question bother you? Is this something you think is reasonable to ask early on, or would the way he asked it give you pause? And is it a red flag that he even asked