u/TopHeight9771

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I saw a post from someone asking if they were a bad person for not wanting to be with someone who was already disabled and mentally ill when they started dating. And honestly, it made me think about some of my own fears.

I’ve definitely had the thought of “Why would someone want to deal with all of this?” or worried that someone would eventually get tired of my needs. I think a lot of us probably carry some version of that fear.

But I’ve been trying to challenge that because I realized some of it was my own internalized ableism.

Being disabled doesn't mean we're incapable of being good partners. We can be loving, supportive, funny, attentive, emotionally present, and bring a LOT to a relationship. We don't have to contribute in exactly the same ways as an able-bodied partner for the relationship to be equal.

And needing care sometimes doesn't automatically make someone a burden. Caregiving can be shared with other people and services. Your partner doesn't have to become your full-time caregiver. Ideally, you build a life where both people have independence AND support each other.

I also think it's important to remember that relationships are messy and vulnerable for everyone. You might become disabled later in life. Your partner might become disabled. Someone might develop a chronic illness or struggle with their mental health. You don't know what life is going to throw at either of you.

And yeah, learning how to care for someone can probably be awkward as hell 😂. But that's part of getting to know someone and building a life together. You learn their needs. They learn yours. You figure it out.

Everyone has baggage. Ours just might look different.

There are people out there who won't see our disability as some horrible burden they're nobly agreeing to put up with. They'll just see it as one part of the person they love.

I think I needed to remind myself of that, and maybe someone else here needs to hear it too. ❤️

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Hi everyone,

I'm feeling really torn and would love some honest advice from people who have been through this.

I was recently accepted into Hawaii Pacific University's online MSW program. I'm genuinely excited because getting accepted has been a huge confidence boost after facing some admissions challenges.

Here's where I'm struggling:

I'm disabled and currently receive SSI, so I don't have the financial resources to pay for graduate school out of pocket. The program would be mostly online, which is important because of my disability. My goal is to become a licensed clinical social worker and eventually practice in Oregon.

I'm trying to decide whether I should:

Attend Hawaii Pacific University and figure out how to finance it.

Delay graduate school and apply to more affordable online MSW programs.

Keep looking for scholarships, grants, or other funding before making a decision.

A little about me:

I have my BSW.

My undergraduate GPA wasn't very competitive, which has made admissions more difficult.

I was thrilled to finally receive an acceptance, but I don't want to make a financial decision I'll regret.

Career-wise, I'm especially interested in working with children and families. I'm also passionate about working with Indigenous women and communities, and I'm interested in global or international social work if opportunities arise. Those interests are part of why Hawaii Pacific appealed to me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts:

If you were in my position, would you attend HPU or keep applying elsewhere?

Is HPU well respected in the social work field?

How did you pay for your MSW?

Are there scholarships, assistantships, loan forgiveness programs, or other funding opportunities I should be looking into?

Are there online MSW programs that are less expensive, respected, and realistic for someone with a lower GPA?

Based on my career interests, are there other programs I should seriously consider?

I'm trying to make the smartest long-term decision, not just the easiest one. I'd really appreciate any advice or experiences you're willing to share.

Thank you so much!