Yk how in english Allah is always referred to he? if Allah doesn't have a gender, why not just use any pronouns or "it"? why specifically he? it was even used in translation of Quran/hadiths
This is so random but after a talk with a friend I've met today, talk about a bunch of random stuff including religion. turns out he doesn't really like islam too.
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I feel exhausted pretending to be fair. at home I pretend I'm a muslim, a girl and just the healed version of me.
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with my hgs I can be myself but not fully because I know they still see me as the monster or the psycho from the past who was a bully.
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with my gaming buddies, They don't know I'm a girl, a genderfluid girl. they thought i was a guy and that's why they invited me over to be a part of their gaming group. I don't look like a guy yet well I can't due to some restrictions in a muslim household. I feel so fake, a guy persona but a girl appearance and voice. how come my guy persona gets friends easily? is my girl self so bad?
I'm gonna graduate soon and things that I would like to say to my fellow community. Thanks for the advice that came through this year and after a few years that guilt eating me I accepted myself that I'm not able to follow or Believe in Islam once more and that I'm trying to accept that I'm genderfluid/Abrosexual. Sure it has challenges and all but I hope one day I'm able to accept myself fully and live well with my own body.
I wanna move somewhere else far away and live the way I want and wear what I want without someone telling me to cover up my sinple arms. I've always dreamed of living by myself and having fun meeting new friends and all, I know that my family wouldn't accept me neither most of my friends will. But regardless of that I hope that I'm able to live and move away safely just as I desired.
(just a small rant)
Edit p.s: I'm healing from my Bpd!
It's so weird sometimes to think about it, i used to be so religious and homophobic/transphobic.
now I'm Queer and not religious, and i still struggle with being one and dealing with internalized transphobia/Homophobia.
it kinda hurts tbh
living in a homophobic/transphobic house and surrounded by constant narrow minded people.