u/Total-Tap-7705

Pretty much the title.

Been seeing this girl and it’s awfully obvious she’s avoidant attachment.

Sometimes she’s warm and other times she’s quite a bit colder.

It feels as if she’s scared of me not liking her back? Or something of the sort, not too sure myself.

I’m not sure if I’d be ready for a serious relationship with someone with these sorts of traits though, but I wanted to ask whether it is manageable, and if so, how?

Is there anything I’d need to look for?

For context we’re both Muslim.

Been seeing this girl who came up to me and began chatting to me at university.

Whilst we were at university we spent basically everyday together, we’d always be chatting away and very close with each other, sharing almost everything.

I did have some subtle hints she liked me, but nothing too extreme.

At one point she was incredibly affectionate and flirtatious over text, nothing too crazy but the signs were there.

Ever since we went out for dinner though, her replies have tanked.

We used to message three times a day and now I’m looking at a 1-2 day reply time from her.

Given she is incredibly busy, family stuff and her job is really really stressful. I’m unsure as to whether she’s been really stressed or if this is her normal course of communication with me from now on.

I’m not sure if I should have been more intentional early on perhaps?

I was hoping to see her again and discuss intentions and whatnot, because I feel like my interest is waning, though I do like her, just feel as if that ‘honeymoon’ phase is sort of over.

It’s so weird because I was just looking at our old messages and we used to reply to each other within a couple of hours and now I’m always waiting at least a day.

She has mentioned that her job is very stressful and the work environment isn’t great, but surely this isn’t a reason to leave me on delivered for so long constantly?

Our messages are packed with loads of things we talk about, so I can understand not being bothered to reply straight away, but I’d rather be more intentional and see each other then beat around the bush, because it feels incredibly evasive to me.

I’m really confused because I like her a lot, but I’m just not sure where things stand between us at the moment.

Though I can sense my interest waning over time, to me it feels as if I’m the one forcing the effort and trying to maintain communication currently.

It’s a weird situation because she’s still willing to see me, but it’s the inconsistency which is bothering me and making me progressively lose interest.

Any advice would be hugely appreciated!