Diagnosed with GHSV1, partner is unsupportive and accusative.
Well the title explains it.. I (F) have always tried to keep myself educated on std/sti’s and know it can be dormant, I tried to always be as careful as possible because I cared significantly about my health so this was devastating for me, my partner (M) and I have known each other for over 6 years, we have young children and have had an on and off relationship over the years, so yes we have been with other people. The one man I got with during our split over 4ish years ago confirmed he does not have hsv and was tested after our encounter.
My first outbreak was extremely painful per normal, I felt like I had the flu and ended up in the ER.
My partner and I were sexually active probably a few weeks or a week prior but he had no visible sores on his mouth. The only thing remotely close to what I now think could’ve potentially been is he showed me what I believed at the time as a singular decent size canker sore on the inside of the lip/gum area and to my knowledge i believed cold sores were on and around the lips.. He is adamant that it is not hsv, he believes it was from heavily smoking black and milds I guess that’s a possibility.. I’ve never gotten sores on the inside of my mouth from smoking, and i was prior to 30 days ago, a heavy marijuana smoker using tobacco products…
I chose to do a daily dose of valacyclovir and we have had sex multiple times after my diagnosis but he now wears a condom every time which I understand 100% but it does make me feel like he thinks i’m contagious all the time which has put a strain on my mental and I no longer have a sex drive.. I want to make it very clear though it is NOT because he’s wearing a condom, I want him to feel safe always.
My partner has been with multiple people during our on and offs over the years but to my knowledge he’s never had an outbreak.. We were together and living together from July-April of this year and broke up in April, I was diagnosed not long after in May, so he believes I slept with someone else in that short time after we broke up.. This is 100% false. I offered to pay for him to go get tested and he agreed at first to go together, and then backtracked and said he would rather go alone because it was his business…. I haven’t talked to anyone else about it because of the embarrassment so he’s the only one who knows and I haven’t received any support, it’s hard and I feel very alone with the entire thing and my heart breaks the person I love believes I would step out so soon after our split and accuse me of sleeping with someone else. My mind is all over the place so I apologize if this is sporadic.. any advice or kind words are appreciated, TIA!