u/Training-Value-3574

I had a crush on a guy from office and we used to chat daily. He helped me a lot during difficult times. Gradually I started getting emotionally attached to him. I was texting him every day. I used to overthink if he didn’t reply. Then he stopped replying and answering my calls. I was so anxious and worried.

Then one day he removed me from seeing his display picture. I was devastated. I wanted his attention and wanted him to know that I was in pain.

I don’t know what happened to me. I called HR and told her that my father was serious. Later I said that he had passed away.

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I realised I had made a huge mistake.

After that, everyone came to know. Colleagues came to my house. I had to continue the lie because I didn’t know how to tell the truth.

Every day I felt guilty.

I know what I did was wrong. My father is alive and I lied about his death.

I don’t know why I did this. I feel ashamed of myself.

I never wanted any leave or any financial benefit. I only wanted attention.

Now I feel trapped because everyone believes it.

I feel guilty every single day.

I know I have done something terrible.

I don’t deserve forgiveness but I want to correct my mistake.

I don’t want to continue this lie anymore.

Please tell me what to do.

Continued in comments

I need advice from you guys.
I lied about my father’s demise at my work place and I am guilty as fuck about it. I didn’t do it to get any work place benefits nor was my work place toxic. I did it to get one person’s attention and I hate myself for it. I don’t know what to do . It was poor judgement on my part and I hate myself for it. I have never done something like this before nor I ever will. Now my team members want to visit me and I don’t want them to because I have lied. For now I have stalled them but really don’t want them to find out as I feel we were just now getting closer together. What can I do ?