r/Workproblems

I'll try to make this as short as possible. September will make two years for me at the company I work for. The TCW (Toxic coworker) has been there for less than seven months. I've introduced myself politely and have done nothing wrong to this person. A couple months back; I began to notice the TCW watching me from the opposite side of the conveyor belt we work on. I've also noticed that they avoid speaking to me but seem to go out of their way to speak to everyone else.

So a few weeks ago; we were both leaving work at the same time and I asked if they had a problem with me. I did it respectfully in a way of making sure it was just us two with no audience. The person said they didn't have a problem with me and they only gave handshakes to people from the side they work on. I call BS. They deliberately go out of their way to ask questions about work to a person I'm talking to right in front of me. Now they have a sidekick who is new as well and it just brings negative energy to the group I work with. I see the negative influence they have on the new guy and it just feels like a weird coup against me. I'm almost 40 and they are 19.

What should I do after I approached the TCW face to face but it still seems like a weird tension is still present?

I’m a provisional psychologist in Australia. I want to be anonymous because I do not wish to take anybody down or give anybody a bad name - I’m just looking for advice/opinions from others in the field about whether this sounds like something worth formally addressing, or whether I should just move on.

I recently left a role as a provisional psychologist where my supervisor was also the business owner. Nothing that occurred was clearly illegal (at least from my understanding), but a lot of it felt ethically questionable and left me feeling quite distressed and psychologically unsafe.

Some examples:
superannuation was not always paid on time
staff were often spoken about negatively or had their competency questioned
the owner’s son was supposedly doing admin work but often appeared absent/asleep in another room
when I resigned due to deteriorating mental health, I initially offered to stay on for 6 weeks, but was pushed out within 2 weeks
I was told not to come in on certain days, but then other staff were apparently told I had “just not shown up”
my keys/access were removed prematurely
throughout the resignation process, the focus felt heavily financial rather than supportive
I also had a supervision repayment clause in my contract. Because I left before the agreed timeframe, around $3800 was taken from my final pay and I still owe about $700. Legally I understand I signed the contract, but ethically it feels uncomfortable given the circumstances and my mental health at the time.
All payslips were sent to my work email, which I have now been locked out of as I am no longer employed. There is an app ‘Xero’ I use to see my payslips, however it appears I am locked out of this also. I like to keep all payslips as documents from all previous employers.
Pay was often sporadic in days it would come into my account. Upon speaking to other employees (with a different bank account) this was their experience also. Payslips were also uploaded/sent randomly, meaning there were weeks where I’d see money in my account but couldn’t actually ensure it was accurate (hours worked, tax taken out etc.)

I’m struggling to work out whether this is:
just a toxic workplace experience that I should learn from and move on from,
something worth discussing with Fair Work/ATO/etc,
potentially relevant to professional ethics standards (AHPRA)

I’m not trying to attack or “take down” anyone — I think I mainly want perspective from others who may have worked under difficult supervisors or in unhealthy private practices.
Has anyone experienced something similar, and if so, did you report it or just cut your losses and move on?

OK to give context to the story, before I even exchange numbers with this 29-year-old we both work in the same Amazon delivery station. He is a dispatcher. I am an associate. We kept things very professionally whenever we were on the launchpad helping drivers load up their truck.

In the beginning, I wasn’t paying attention to him. I didn’t really care for him until one day, while on the launchpad, I got super bored and decided to go up to him and ask him if he had a girlfriend. He said no why do you ask and I said I was just wondering, and then I walked away. Two minutes later, I see him again on the launchpad and he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no, and walked away again a few minutes go by and he walks up to me with his phone in his hand, and he puts his phone in my hands and says put your number in my phone so I do so.

At first, I was shocked because I didn’t think that he would do that but that’s what happens when you get bored right? So we started talking and getting to know each other and I found out that he’s 29 turning 30 and I’m 23. Personally, I felt like if he really didn’t want to talk to a 23-year-old he could’ve stopped talking to me right then and there. But he continue to talk to me for a one month.

In that timeframe , he did inform me that he was just chilling and eventually wanting a relationship . I essentially was doing the same thing so I didn’t really see any point in pressuring someone into a relationship . I just went with the vibe of the relationship that we established .

We FaceTimed regularly , saw each other outside of work twice. We’ve kissed a few times , and would give each other side hugs at the job when nobody was looking. Sometimes he would even call me cute nicknames, like sweetheart or sunshine, and one time he accidentally called me “Bae”

The very first time we hung out we literally were just talking in the car for hours. We even watched a crime documentary together. He got food even though I wasn’t really hungry, but he still got food and that’s when we started kissing. One thing I will say is I never let anything get to physical. The only thing I allowed was kisses and hugs.

Throughout the month, we build a chemistry naturally we build a connection naturally we had similarities. I thought he was genuinely a cool person to talk to you. We got familiar with each other basically. One time we had them all day and he took me to see his child at home and I thought that was so nice to see.

One time he took me home from the job so I wouldn’t have to spend money on a Lyft ride and I thought that was really nice of him. During the ride, he even offered to get something to eat with me, but I truly wasn’t hungry and I did have food at home. I should’ve said yes but it’s OK. Once he took me home, I said OK I’m going now, Give me a kiss and he gave me a kiss.

How this all ended within one month :
One day we were FaceTiming and I had asked him how much dispatchers make , and he said it’s salary and I made a joke and said oh that explains why you’re so rich and he said I’m not rich yet, and then he mentioned his cologne collection and I was slightly teasing him and said why do you have a cologne collection lol, he took offense to that and got triggered and asked me. Why are you always asking questions like that? Then he said you have to take a shower. I’ll kick it with you later.

The next day, I expected him to call me or FaceTime me he didn’t do that. Half the day had went by and he didn’t message me at all. I started preparing to protect myself so I blocked him on TikTok and I accidentally had called him when I was deleting the call log and he called me right back, but I didn’t answer the phone.

A few days passed by and he hasn’t texted me at all , so I took the initiative and I texted him. Are we not speaking anymore? What’s going on? I’m confused by the sudden distance. He explained that he saw that I called and saw that he was blocked, and I explained that I felt ghosted by him and he didn’t text me at all, so I thought he was really angry at me and I decided to give him space and he told me that it wasn’t about space, he felt as though that I was gaslighting him. Which I wasn’t I was just playfully teasing. He explained to me that he’s been around narcissistic people half his life and he understands that I may not know what triggers him , and he explained that he hates being unheard and unseen . So, I took the initiative to apologize. It was all just a huge misunderstanding a day goes by and he has not responded back to my apology text. The next day he goes into work and he’s sitting at his desk on his phone so it’s very clear that he’s ignoring me.

So I texted him again and said I wish him the best. It’s very clear that you’re not interested in me anymore. I hope you’re OK and it was essentially a goodbye text. I was very emotionally mature. I made sure to watch my words and he didn’t even reply to that sincere goodbye text . A week goes by and I’m still thinking about the situation. I’m getting emotional. My cycle is coming up. I know I shouldn’t have texted him, but I texted him again and asked him if he wants to continue speaking to me or not, which it was very clear he didn’t, and he said, I thought that we were done already. That’s when he explained to me that we could be cool but not anything towards a relationship. He says that I’m a great person. I’m young and I’m beautiful, but he doesn’t want to rush me growing up. So then I offered friendship and he explained that he just wants to be in a good place and feel emotionally safe in all situations. He says that I am an amazing woman, but he doesn’t see himself risking himself in a situation that would cause issues with his peace.

I respected his decision and moved on . I’m slightly over this situation, but it is really hurtful to be rejected. I think the age possibly was a problem or he really didn’t like me. Still kinda confused.

Edit : Reading the comments gives me a good insight and reflection on myself. Parts of me wants to reach out and call and make things right but I’ll probably end up being rejected rightfully so. I appreciate all the comments truly, it helps me grow and become better with my emotions , as well as my maturity truly❤️.

For several years, I have worked in the office of the CEO of a large company. My previous boss was very close to the CEO, and I also had a strong working relationship with him. My boss suffered a workplace accident and passed away. From that moment on, for a year, I took on and maintained many of the responsibilities he had previously carried out.

A few months ago, I was asked to train someone to support the office, which at the time did not have a formally appointed head. I complied with that instruction. However, during that period, my experience with this person was not positive. From my perspective, this person showed a lack of experience and capacity to assume greater responsibility, in addition to making negative comments about the company, coworkers, and the organization in general.

A few days ago, I was informed that this same person would be appointed as head of the area. This decision surprised me and caused me concern, not only for personal reasons, but because I believe that this person’s profile does not match the needs or responsibilities of the position. In addition, I understand that the proposal was promoted by someone close to the CEO, which increases my concern about the criteria that were taken into account for this appointment.

I decided to speak directly with the CEO, with whom I have a good relationship. I told him that I disagreed with the appointment, that it would be difficult for me to accept this person as my boss, and that, under those circumstances, I was putting my resignation on the table. The CEO responded that the information I shared with him was new to him and asked me for time to assess the situation.

I agreed to wait for his response. However, the fact that I had submitted my resignation was leaked, which has created an atmosphere of tension, discomfort, and distrust in my area. I also feel that this person has begun to block or hinder my work, making it more difficult to maintain a normal work dynamic.

At this moment, I find myself in a difficult position. On the one hand, I am considering submitting my final resignation in order to close this chapter with dignity and avoid further strain. On the other hand, I also recognize that I agreed to wait for the CEO’s response, and perhaps the most prudent course of action would be to speak with him again before making a final decision.

My main question is whether I should confront this person directly and point out the actions that I consider inappropriate, or whether it would be better to avoid a confrontation, allow a few more days to pass, and first seek a clear decision from the CEO

This is a long story and I guess no one really cares to hear the truth but I'm gonna tell you guys.

So last year in this very month I had a friend we will call neil who I was very close with but we had a little bit of a falling out because he was using me for things and not really treating me well.

He had this other friend who was a girl named Tiffany and he would go on about how Tiffany was his best friend ever. I simply said then how come she never gives you rides anywhere or how come she didn't pick you up when you were stranding out where you moved and didn't want to be there? And then he immediately got defensive and accused me of being jealous of her very quickly. I was confused and hurt because he knows I do have some jealousy issues with there being favoritism heavy in my family.

Then one night he told me that he needed to tell me something so he comes over when we have a house full and people. Me and my boyfriend and his friends and neil. So we go on a walk and he tells me, I'm sorry this happened so long ago but my friend Tiffany said your boyfriend was acting weird and telling her inappropriate things and this that the other thing. So I have him call her. And she says very plainly that he told her he wasn't with me anymore and talked about her boobs and this that the other thing.

My.boyfriend had unknowingly been very depressed but the only person who really might know besides me that there was something going on with him was neil. He was the only one I told about my boyfriend having problems. He was really the only person I would vent to.

Way before this, a couple years back. I remember neil telling me that him and Tiffany would play this game to try to see if people would cheat on their significant other by messaged them. I guess I should have seen it coming then. I thought maybe it was a joke or these people were actually "bad" people and he wouldn't do it to us.

I'm like 98% sure that's what happened. And my relationship has suffered greatly from it.

He worked in the same building as me before since this happened. Obviously I avoid him and don't talk to him anymore. Then he got moved over to my part of the building and I immediately called and said I do not want to work with him.

My store manager said don't worry, it won't happen.

Then the next week or so I walk into work and what do I see, they had scheduled him with me, an hour overlap.

To me is so disrespectful when they said they wouldn't.

I called off the next day and then the day after that I walked in, my store manager said hi and everything but something seemed different. Neil walked in to go to his shift on the other side of the building because he was also working over there and my manager was like very overly friendly with him and I think they think I will just stay and deal with it because the company is paying for my school but I won't. Why would you do that to someone as an employee who came to you for help. That same day, I started crying uncontrollably at work, nobody said a thing, not even my store manager who just said "have a good night". It's like they all knew and some just didn't want to get involved and my manager wanted to asert that he had power over me or something. I can be pretty paranoid with that kind of stuff but that's what it felt like. Anyways no one will probably read this and if you do, I am sorry. Currently on the job hunt.

I’m 26F and work in a corporate office. I report to 3 bosses who are middle aged men. My direct boss, (I’ll call him Brad) and I have a good relationship and I feel comfortable going to him for everything. However, he treats everyone else horribly.

Brad often backstabs and talks behind people’s backs. One time, he plotted for an entire year to get my other manager fired. He frequently makes fun of my coworkers and belittles them, but will be kind to their face. He has poor hearing, so he’s often unaware of how loudly he talks and that the entire office can hear him.

I work in a male dominated industry where my bosses tend to trash talk people, discuss politics (that don’t reflect my younger coworkers values), and share edgy humor. Being that I’m the only female in the office and am their personal assistant, I often feel pressured to laugh at their jokes or feel powerless to argue with their views. They often tell me I’m young and don’t know better.

I used to be close friends with my coworkers, Jason and Devon, (24M & 26M). We used to chat every day and they went out of their way to help me with everything. They even fixed my car tire when it went flat once.

2 years ago, my bosses were up to their usual antics and started a game where they made fun of Devon (while he was out of the room). It bothered me, but I felt outnumbered, so I just ignored it and focused on work. They were all chatting next to my desk and verbally made fun of Devon’s actions and appearance. They tried to rope me into it and I can’t recall exactly how I reacted, but I remember being quiet and saying “that’s rude” or “I don’t want to be involved.” I’m a shy, awkward person, so I may have forced a laugh because I felt so uncomfortable. I’m 99% sure that Devon overheard because I saw a glimpse of someone in the corner of my eye.

Ever since that day, Devon has not said one word to me. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. He often glares, sighs, rolls his eyes, avoids me, leaves me on read, or does not speak when I say hello. I’m confident that he thinks I was in on it and that makes me feel so horrible. It hurts that he hates me so much now and doesn’t know the truth. I’ve been dying to explain, but I’m not positive that’s even the reason he hates me now. From then on, I felt so horrible about it, I decided I would speak up next time.

Well, Brad likes to have coffee and daily chats in my office with the door wide open. He started venting and making fun of Jason’s laugh and voice. He was relentless, and would go on for 5-10 minutes. I would tell him “that’s rude,” “please don’t say that,” I don’t want to be involved,” and “I don’t want to talk about this.” When that didn’t work, I just ignored him, acted busy, typed at my computer, and he would KEEP GOING. I tried my best to be direct, but it wasn’t working. I also struggled with the power imbalance and I felt uncomfortable talking down to my boss (still do).

It didn’t take long for Jason to shut down and not look me in the eye and avoid me. Even though it’s not my fault, I feel like a horrible person. I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to say, “hey, remember that time our boss talked sh*t about you? Well, I don’t think that way!” - especially if I’m not certain they over heard it.

I’ve been debating going to our HR department recently, but they aren’t very helpful (they don’t even take SA reports seriously). I also don’t want to make my job and relationship with my boss more difficult. I’m trying to find another career, but the job market is really tough right now, so I’m stuck in this situation.

I guess the reason I’m posting here, is I want to know if you think I handled this situation poorly and if I could have done better. Is any of this my fault or would you feel similarly in this kind of power dynamic?

I've been hired at a small engineering company as the Executive Assistant and part of my job is to keep the other employees on task. There are a couple guys who like to chit chat with each other more than the owner prefers and I'm supposed to be the one to squash that. How do I politely ask my co-workers to stop talking so much about non-work related things and get back to work without sounding like a jerk?

Edit: I want to mention that he's a very good boss and does a lot for his emloyees. We have a 2nd location that he works from on the other days. He pays for all the employees to go on a company tropical vacation with apouses every year if we meet our annual sales goal. So when people are talking and not pulling their weight as much as they could be, that is part of the problem too.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting here because I’ve spent the last 48 hours breaking down every single interaction I’ve had with my temporary line manager over the past few weeks. I honestly need an outside perspective to tell me if I’m overanalysing things, or if this behavior is as toxic and bizarre as it feels.

For context, I am a new starter. I hold a genuine Master’s degree in counselling and have a very quiet, calm confidence. My line manager is on a temporary contract that ends later this month, has been an entry-level grade for five years, and holds a basic certificate in counselling. Since day one, the dynamic has felt incredibly strange.
Here is the exact timeline of events and behaviors:

• on my first week, I went out for lunch on my break. When I came back, she told me, "I thought you’d run away but then I saw you out the window come back." She then directly asked me, "Have you ever run away from a job?"
• when she found out I have a Master’s degree, she immediately claimed in front of the team that she also has a Master’s degree in psychology which turned out to be completely false. She has a bachelors degree with a 2:2
• I brought in a stylish diary/planner. She had the exact same one. When I casually pointed out the shared interest, she became incredibly cold, dismissive, and brushed it off like I had ruined an exclusive status symbol for her.
• Out of nowhere, she loudly announced her weight and BMI to the entire open-plan office, creating a really uncomfortable atmosphere centered around body image.
• One day I came in wearing a professional black blazer, white shirt, and trousers. She looked at a male colleague and said sarcastically, "Look, Sarah looks smart! She should be the manager!”
• Shortly after, she moved my desk away from the main team (where I was building a great rapport) into a back room with one colleague, claiming it was "so you don't get distracted." However, once I was in there, she constantly walked in multiple times a day to interrupt me, body-scan my clothes, and distract me herself. My desk was placed right by the door near her office so she could monitor every interaction.
• Last week, when I temporarily sat out in the main area with the rest of the team and had a great interaction, she walked out of the office without saying goodbye to anyone and looked so visibly miserable that another colleague had to ask her if she was okay.

On Wednesday, I am planning to move my desk back to the main open area with the rest of the team where I belong, and I am speaking to HR today regarding some payroll issues she neglected.

I feel like I’ve had to map out her entire psychological playbook just to make sense of why a manager would act this way toward a new starter. Am I going mad by putting all these pieces together, or is this a clear case of a deeply insecure person trying to control and intimidate someone?

Would love to hear your thoughts on her behavior and how to handle Wednesday. Thanks.

At my job (childcare), we work in pairs. We, as teams of two, have a classroom of children to manage.

i worked with this girl for 2 years, but neither year was great.

But this last year, it was especially bad. She said some inappropriate stuff to the toddlers. She was on her phone all the time, she told me on multiple occasions that when I wasn’t there she almost lost a kid, and I felt like I was the only one interacting with the kids.

I am such a people pleaser, though, so I let most things go and didn’t make her aware that it was bothering me. 

I went to our boss and let her know that it wasn’t going great and I’d really like a new co-teacher next year.

so my boss let her know I wanted to work with someone else. Well, she came back to me and said she was sorry and asked if we could talk. I said yes, but now, right now, as we  were supposed to be watching the kids. 

She went back to my boss a few days later and told her I was unwilling to talk and wouldn’t accept her apology. That’s not completely true. I kept waiting on her to talk to me (maybe I should’ve started the conversation), and I didn’t not accept her apology. I just didn’t say “it’s okay” or “it’s fine.”

I realize now that I should have been more open about my feelings.

It’s now summer break, and she’s unfriended me on everything and taken herself out of the work group chat, and I feel like I’ve hurt her and that was never my intention.

I feel like maybe I was partially in the wrong here. I definitely should have spoken up and not made it seem like we were good when I was frustrated. But I also feel like I am valid in wanting to work with someone else.

So my question is, should I reach out? Should I just let it go? Was I in the wrong? 

So I've been working at this call center job for 3 years now, I feel like my boss never liked me but somehow gave me a permanent contract with the company.

He is the micromanager type of manager, and he is only happy when he is pointing fingers.

So my metrics have not always been to their liking, but I implemented some automation to my work and now I'm by far the one person in my team with the best results.

The other day he sent me a message on teams but because I was stuck on a call it took me a while to reply.

I was baffled by the content of his message "why are you not replying? Scratching your nutsack?"

I was baffled and told him I didn't allow him to treat me that way and to use that language with me.

His reply?

"Oh look at him offended".

I told him again that I didnt give permission for him to use that type of language with me.

So that was that.

Then he started to make comments about...me crossings my legs while taking calls.

I told him it's my body and I'm not offending anyone by crossing my legs so I will continue to do so because that's how I am comfortable.

Sometimes he still talks about this situation with me crossing my legs, I just look at him without saying anything.

Now the real kicker of this story is that the same boss that calls me unprofessional for crossing my legs scratches his ass in the middle of the office and smells his own fingers while strutting and strolling his way on the office.

The hypocrisy kills me, the situation is so ridiculous that I'm not even upset ..I just smile at this fool.

I am flooded with complaints by others who have to work in proximity with this guy. He works for me as a delivery dispatcher and is great at his job, but really has b.o. to the point of nausea for others.

It’s breath and body. Just foul.

Conversations have been had and still no improvement.

Hate to think I have to write up an employee for hygiene, but wow.

Female 21 . I work at tesla gigafactory in Cali we have very strict policies here .I have a coworker who i’m partnered with to do certain roles at work . She comes in late each day makes up wild excuses to are boss in order to keep herself from getting attendance points .I totally understand who wouldn’t if it comes down to keeping there job , but it’s got to point where it’s becoming excessive she abusing her privileges. She recently told me that she been txting the boss to clock in her even when she still at home . Our policy is if you don’t have your badge that physically clocks you in you have to take a live photo of the time clock to prove you’re actually there . She’s even asked me before to take pictures of the clock for her but i’ve always declined . So now she gets away but just texting the boss to clock her in wich he does without even asking for a picture wich possibly could risk his job too .We both have grown close so i don’t want to get it her trouble . but when i asked her why she continues to do these things her response was “she feels God has more in store for she shouldn’t have to work , this lifestyle isn’t it “. I personally don’t respect that view of life and feel she just an abusing being a privileged employee . I also feel it should be equality at the workplace meaning everyone abide by equal rules . Don’t know how i should go about things if i should report or just worry about my damn self and move along and not consider her as potential friend.

At my job there’s a person who is still super nice and friendly with everyone, but at the same time she’s very critical and always wants things done her way.

One of my coworkers even politely explained to her not to get so involved in our work, but she still keeps giving comments, correcting things that do not directly affect her, and pointing out things she does not like.

She also compares everything to the company she worked at before and talks like everything there was done better.

It honestly makes me curious why some people feel the need to do that constantly. Has anyone else experienced this? Why is this people like this?

some of you all might know that I work pt and today when I went to get my lunch , one of my co workers was in the room and said out loud " that f---ing food stinks " how can you eat that sour shite .Well one of the hr people was in there with us and she told me to throw the food away because it was upsetting to the other co worker . I told her no , im not throwing food away at all . Well she told me I could go home then for the rest of the day w/o pay . So I went home and heard nothing but other stuff from my other half about how it does stink to him too . It was tuna fish for god's sake . Who makes such a blow up over tuna fish ??? Anyone else had this problem ? at work or home ???

So I work at a fast food restaurant chain in my town. I’ve been working there for almost a year now. I’m never late and if I am it’s only by a few minutes and I’ll always call ahead. My problem is that recently one of the managers had put in a two week notice and so management was now in the look for a new manager. I discussed with my coworker about it a bit because we both think that we would be matches for the promotion. A few days go by and all we hear is that the other managers are going to talk about it. Come to find out they did promote someone, and it’s the worst person. This person who got the promotion is known to come to work high, has a record, sells drugs, underage drink, and over all an ass kisser. Both my coworker and I work hard at work and always put the job first, but someone who doesn’t even care or need it got the promotion. How am I supposed to even deal with this? Should I start looking for a new job because they don’t value the work I do? Am I overreacting? Please help.