Masters of BOTEC - please give advice to this distracted beginner
Hello,
I am new to this community. I have listened to a lot of Joe’s content on YouTube and finally decided to take action. I have not read any of his books yet. I recently started the BOTEC 1 meditation. Just like a lot of people, my mind is constantly thinking about 100 different things and it really affects my ability to focus during the meditation. As an example, when I started the BOTEC 1 meditation, for some reason, all the scenes of being with my ex gf (whom I very painfully miss) started playing in front of me like i was watching a movie at a cinema. Sometimes my mind wanders into random things (like sexual thoughts, memories of other people from the past, conversations during the day, stressful work stuff, etc). It’s the memories of my last relationship that really affect me the most during my meditation. While all of this happening during the meditation, I feel like I am producing the same exact emotional reactions in my body that this meditation is supposed to help with (e.g. fear of being alone and never finding someone I can truly love). It also makes me disappointed in myself that I am just listening to Joe’s words but can’t connect with the energy centers due to my distracted mind.
I am sure a lot of people can relate to this experience in their own way. For people who went thru similar emotions and eventually mastered the meditations, what advice would you give me so I can focus on Joe’s words and apply them during the meditation?
Just for context, I went thru a sudden and painful breakup with someone last year who I thought was 100% my soulmate and future wife. During this, I also started having some health issues and discovered markers for a chronic condition. It almost felt like I was on top of the world one moment and suddenly I dropped to the bottom. This lead me to explore spirituality. I have listened to Joe’s content on YT well before all this happened. This time, I really decided to take action.
I have more questions but I will make a separate post about those. For now, I am trying to figure out what to do with these thoughts and painful memories during the meditation.
Thanks in advance.