i need your opinions
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Being a convinced antinatalist living in the Middle East, specifically within a traditional society, creates a profound sense of isolation. When you philosophically reject the act of bringing new life into a suffering world, your options for romantic companionship narrow drastically. The reality of finding a partner who shares these views—or even understands them—feels nearly impossible, leaving you caught in a difficult web of compromises, fears, and emotional needs.
The first logical path for an antinatalist is to seek a partner who is childfree or holds similar anti-procreation views. However, this comes with deep personal anxieties. Can I truly trust that my convictions will remain unshaken decades from now? What if, by the time I reach my forties, a sudden wave of loneliness hits me, or a latent paternal instinct kicks in? In that scenario, I would likely turn to adoption as a way to fulfill that need But adoption not allowed here, so perhaps find myself wishing I had married a single mother to experience parenting without the act of procreation. Furthermore, looking locally, the pool of openly childfree individuals within Arab and Muslim communities is practically non-existent. Cultural and religious expectations heavily tie marriage to reproduction, making the prospect of finding a compatible partner locally complicated, if not entirely unrealistic.
Faced with this barrier, the option of marrying a single mother often crosses the mind. It seems like a way to have a family dynamic without creating a new human being. Yet, diving deeper into this option brings up a cascade of societal warnings and internal doubts. The prevailing cultural narrative warns men against raising another man's children, often framed as building someone else's legacy. More practically, there is the fear of emotional displacement. As a young man wanting to feel cherished, the thought of always coming second to her child is a bitter pill to swallow. Why should you invest your heart, time, and youth into a relationship where you might perpetually feel like a secondary priority?
Then comes the heavy burden of financial reality. The stereotype of the single mother's partner acting merely as an "ATM" is hard to completely dismiss when societal roles place the entirety of financial responsibility on the man. The thought of working tirelessly to support a household and pay for a child's education—while the child is biologically not yours—breeds resentment, even if you are theoretically open to the idea of adoption or stepped-in care.When these options weigh too heavily, a darker, more compromising thought creeps in: Why not just marry a traditional woman and have a single child? At least that way, you bypass the social friction, secure a companion, and hope that the shared experience of raising a child fosters a loving family.
Yet, this is where the core of antinatalism strikes back with full force. Deep down, bringing a child into this world purely to satisfy an emotional void, to cure loneliness, or to force a partner to love you is the ultimate form of selfishness. Using a new human being as an emotional bandage for your own existential dread is everything an antinatalist stands against... i need your opinions .. what should i do?