u/Tricky-Bee6152

Disclaimer: AuDHD parent (self dxd but casually confirmed by therapist and psych friend) of yet to be diagnosed ND kids (status irrelevant), 4y and 6m

Looking for tips on how other parents (especially with the ADHD bonus add on) dealing with autistic burn out but still... coping with all the stuff that has to be done.

I've been struggling lately: work is getting to be high intensity after my mat leave transition back, my partner is having a hard time emotionally and I'm trying to prevent it from impacting my kids, my 4y kid is having some behavioral stuff, etc... I've been holding down okay for the last year (including through pregnancy) but the last month I've been starting to shut down during the day, needing to lay down or getting migraines or just staring blankly at my desk on good days and dealing with SI on bad ones.

Usually my husband and I share the load and trade off owning stuff, but now that we're both in some stage of burn out, things are a literal mess and I am overstimulated everywhere I look.

My intentions each day start good - I WFH so I think to myself "I'll just put in laundry between work blocks" or "I can clean a toilet while listening to this town hall" - but the task suddenly feels insurmountable when I go to do it, like "I have to get out the supplies, go to the bathroom, empty the counters, and then I really should scrub the sink..." and absolutely freeze up but the volume of tasks.

Are meds the answer (I'm already on a cocktail of meds for bipolar)? Do you have ways to trick your brain into doing only the one task you need to do? Do you have a routine that helps? Do I need to budget better so I can afford a cleaning service again?

We've now gotten our second note home from school that my child in preschool has hit several students and teachers today. This time, they stated it was unprovoked unlike the last time, which was after attempted redirection to a task.

I'm at a loss for what to do for him. My own emotional regulation is not great (AuDHD), and I feel for him when he must be feeling stuff he can't figure out or having reactions to normal school stuff. I struggle with transitions, with demand avoidance, and with social overwhelm so I can only imagine what he's going through as a tiny person, and it hurts my heart.

Is it time for evaluation? How can we help him remember the tools we talk about for calming down? We're working with a neuroaffirming parent coach already, but I need help and reassurance from folks who have been through it.