u/Tricky-Director-3851

I know this is going to make me sound like an awful person, but I need to know if anyone else relates.

I come from a South Asian immigrant family, and growing up as a glass child wasn’t the only thing that made my childhood difficult. My parents were very flawed. They were often emotionally neglectful, not just because of my brother but because of so many other things. They made terrible financial decisions that affected me personally, they’ve taken money from me, they let extended family treat me horribly, and I spent most of my childhood feeling like everybody else’s needs came before mine.

I don’t even want to get into every little detail because I think a lot of people on this subreddit already understand how complicated growing up as a glass child can be.

But I genuinely feel like my life has been exceptionally hard.

I’m only 20 years old, and I honestly feel like my life has just been one crisis after another. Sometimes I feel like, with the exception of my best friend, almost nobody has ever really seen me, valued me, or made me feel like I mattered.

Despite everything, I’ve always tried so hard to be a good person. I love my younger brother more than anything. I’ve tried to be a good daughter even when I didn’t feel like I was treated very well. I work hard in school. I try to be kind and empathetic. I feel like I’ve spent my whole life surviving while still trying to do the right thing.

Then I look around at people my age who had supportive parents, stable homes, close siblings, money, friends, relationships, and now they just… keep getting more. More opportunities. More people who love them. More people who admire them. More happiness.

And I know this sounds horrible, but sometimes my brain literally thinks,

“I’m better than you.”

Or,

“I deserve that more than you do.”

Not because I think I’m perfect. Not because I think they’re bad people.

But because I look at everything I’ve survived and I think, if you had lived my life, would you still be standing? Would you still be working this hard? Would you still be trying to be a good person?

Sometimes I feel like I’ve had to fight ten times harder just to get to the same place other people started from.

I know these thoughts aren’t healthy. I’m trying to work through them. I don’t want to become a bitter person cause I already struggle enough socially. I think underneath all the anger is just so much grief over the life I never got to have.

I’m just wondering… does anyone else experience this? Does anyone else compare themselves to people who had much easier lives and feel angry that life just seems to keep giving them more?

Hi everyone.

I’ve posted here before, but I’ve been thinking about something lately and I was wondering if anyone else relates.

I’m 20 and come from a South Asian immigrant family. I also have a younger brother with severe, nonverbal autism and very high support needs.

Lately I’ve been realizing that one of the biggest sources of pain in my life wasn’t just growing up as a glass child.

It was feeling like the adults around me kept putting everyone else’s needs before mine.

My brother obviously had very high needs, but it didn’t stop there.

It felt like my mom’s emotional needs came before mine. Extended family problems came before mine. Other adults’ responsibilities came before mine. When I was around 12 or 13, my family was already struggling with my brother, my mom was dealing with her own mental health, and my grandmother was dying of cancer. Despite all of that, my parents took on the responsibility of helping arrange my aunt’s marriage. That eventually brought a recently widowed man (who is and was really horrible to my family), and his children into our lives. I have really complicated feelings about that whole situation.

I remember feeling like those children were getting attention and emotional energy that I already didn’t have enough of.

There were times I felt expected to babysit, help out, and accommodate people who weren’t even my responsibility.

I also remember feeling like, despite everything going on at home (during high school when my brother got kicked out of school, violence at home, etc) I was still expected to keep pushing through, working jobs, helping out, and just adapting to whatever was happening around me.

Looking back, I keep thinking:

I was already struggling. Why wasn’t someone trying to protect me too? I think one of the hardest things for me to process is that I wasn’t an adult. I was a kid who was already dealing with a high-needs sibling, loneliness, family stress, and a lot of responsibility. Sometimes it feels like there was always another crisis, another family obligation, or another person’s needs that came before mine. I think one of the biggest things I’m grieving isn’t just being a glass child. I think I’m grieving the feeling that there was never really enough room for me. I carry a lot of anger toward the adults in my life because sometimes I wonder why protecting their daughter didn’t seem to be as much of a priority as taking care of everyone else. I’m wondering if there are any other glass children who relate to this specific experience.

Did anyone else grow up feeling like it wasn’t just your sibling’s needs that shaped your childhood, but the fact that the adults around you kept asking you to carry more than a child should have had to carry?