Urgent: Dave-centered advice needed!
I want to call Dave, but I am not sure how to call the show. Please give me the advice you think he would give. I know he's not the be all end all, but I am floundering looking for a safe harbor and some help.
My husband wants to sell our home to get us out of debt and move to a lower cost of living area to be closer to family. We are in in Ohio. We live 30 min from a major city in a country feeling safe bedroom community. We bought in 2021 and locked in a 3% interest rate. We owe $270ish on it and it's worth roughly $385-400 in the market.
We have 15 year old twins and a 5 year old, 4 year old, and 22 month old. My husband is a bodyguard for a country music star and his salary is roughly $7100 per month whether he is away on tour or not. When he's home, he was working HVAC union with insurance for an additional $4k per month but they laid him off because of his inconsistent schedule. We are currently utilizing SAMSI benefits. I am a homemaker and hold the fort down when he's out of the country etc. Our mortgage is $2454 per month on an FHA with PMI.
Now that hes laid off he working for his mom and stepdad's construction company that is 90 minutes drive each way (in the hometown he wants to move to). It's good money but self employment so no insurance.
We have roughly 12k in cc debt, 8k in IRS tax debt from last year (he didn't do self employment taxes because we were so tight we used all the paychecks), our van is $700 per month with 16k left to pay on it, and his truck is $285 per month with 14k left on it. We have various medical bills from kids broken bones etc that havent been addressed.
I would like to stay here and do the Dave Ramsey program and actually be gazelle intense because I like our house and our neighborhood and change is scary for me. I honestly feel emotionally fragile right now and the thought of uprooting feels like a massive undertaking for my nervous system. It would mean leaving behind almost 2 decades of memories in this area. However, he does have a point that I have very little family support here and when he's out of the country if there's any emergencies I am on my own a lot.
His idea is: sell the house, take the equity and pay off all debt, buy a house in the hometown area that is closer to family and has a lower cost of living, so that he has more breathing room and isnt forced to work 3+ jobs to scrape by and still have nothing to show for it. We have $4 in our checking account, no savings at all now, and no cash. Waiting for tomorrow''s payday to pay all the bills. I'm sure you can imagine groceries for our family ranges from $1800-2200 per month if we are being careful (this includes toiletries and household items like diapers wipes etc)
My concern is selling the house and not changing the behaviors is not going to fix the problem. I told him this when he wanted to move 6 months ago, and he had a preapproval waiting. So he agreed to hold off but nothing really changed-he gpt laid off and tax time came etc. It's not like i am out spending foolishly. It's just daily life.
is he right? Would Dave say to sell this house? And how dire is the 8k in taxes that we owe? I look outside at my quiet yard with all the memories and the tought of leaving makes me so sad...not just the house but the surrounding area we have loved for two decades. He wants to move 100% however. He likes the hometown, the country area, the thought of being able to help his parents as they age and have help for the kids and stability.
Do I need a reality check? Or would Dave say we should stay put and work the plan here?
Realistically, we need about 8,500 per month for normal living (wile budgeting-pretty bare bones) so everything he makes is scraping us by and that's it. He is gone multiple weeks out of the year sometimes up to 6 weeks at a time so I am the main caretaker and do a lot on my own. I feel so stressed out and paralyzed about this decision. Every time he brings it up i get anxiety. But I imagine he has anxiety trying to provide in the current dynamic. What would Dave say??