r/DaveRamsey

For the men here who are the primary financial decision-maker in the marriage, with a wife who’s home with the kids (or in my case working as a teacher but my income goes straight into the kid’s tuition) — I’m curious how you think about big financial moves, and whether my husband’s approach is normal for this kind of setup or crosses a line.

Back story is we’re Married 15 years, 5 kids. My husband wanted me home homeschooling from the start, which I did for about a decade. A few years ago I went back to work as a teacher, but the deal was my paycheck goes entirely to tuition (he insists on Christian private school for the kids — so I bring home nothing — and he manages everything else: mortgage, debt, investments. That’s worked for us for 15 years and I’ve been fine with it. He’s not a micromanager with my spending or anything and I grew up poor so I’ve always been very grateful for the life he’s provided.

Recently he asked me to sign for a 300k HELOC (I’m on the deed) for an investment he had planned. I was hesitant but agreed, partly because he had built up around $300k in Bitcoin over the years and I figured he’d earned some right to risk it. He said if it went south he’d sell the BTC to cover it. However soon after when MSTY started to drop and I confronted him about when he would unwind. I found that he’d also borrowed roughly $250k more against that Bitcoin to buy more of this ETF — without running it by me. I only found out because I started asking questions, and he brought it up casually, like it was no big deal. The investment has since continued to drop hard.

So — for the guys who run point on finances: is it normal in your marriage to make a six-figure leveraged bet without discussing it with your wife first, given she’s not bringing in outside income? Or would you consider that a breach of trust regardless of who “handles” the money? Where do you draw the line between “this is my domain” and “this affects both of us so I owe her a conversation first”?

Not trying to build a case against him. But I’d like to understand how guys in this exact dynamic think about it because my husband claims this is normal and I only ever grew up in a poor family, single mom household. So these kinds of things were never problems I envisioned dealing with. I just want to protect our assets like our home but don’t know how to except by appealing to him.

My 6 month job loss emergency fund was done a while ago.

Now I'm building emergency funds so I don't have to touch my emergency fund. I have a high deductible health insurance plan. So I've been building an "out of pocket max" health emergency fund. Our cars are relatively new, but I'm building a what if the transmission fails emergency fund. Then there's the what if the washing machine (or any other appliance) breaks emergency fund. These are all just sitting in HYSAs.

I should just dump them into some mutual fund instead.

I am a student and SAHM. My husband is self-employed with a few different income streams. Our biggest expense other than the mortgage is our health insurance. We pay $1700 a month for a “just OK” health plan through the marketplace. It was only $950 a month last year but this year all the plans went way up. And we had another baby.

Every time I pay that bill it pisses me off. Most of my life I have had employer sponsored plans and I got extremely spoiled with those. I have researched to try to figure out other options for this season of life where neither of us has a “9 to 5” … Eventually one or both of us might go back to the corporate world but right now we like the flexibility. It’s just this darn health insurance bill.

Am I missing something? What do others in similar position do?

Good afternoont everyone,

i make about about 10k a month after taxes

califronia

married with 2 kids

only debt is our house 405k on it.

50k in emergancy fund

200$ a month on 529

about 150k in a HYSA

no retirement,

house payment is about 2,500 a month

i save about 2k every month my choice is either work on paying off the house then invest after or investing it in the stock market

i was thinking to put that 150k into the stock market and add 2k a month then pay off my house. but i think paying off the house feels more comforting .....

what would you do ?

Hi, I am looking to sell and split 50/50 equity before the end of this year, or get a heloc to help pay off vehicle debt. ?How do you go about getting a heloc? Definitely need to choose wisely and for a heloc what info is needed to be approved for a 50-60k heloc loan? If I go for heloc, I will pay off vehicle debt and use 30k to update restrooms, kitchen, flooring, exterior update windows, etc. Home is in 1980s original build, etc. or if I don't do heloc and sale as is, how does one go about using home equity to get into another home, if I do this I want to just use 20k or less to get into another home and put the rest into savings, and build that equity up to be able to invest and double the funds within 5-10 years. What would you do? Dave'do? Or what have you done being in a similar position?

2 years ago my junior year of HS Oct.2024 i was involved in a terrible hit-and-run bike accident in NY which forced me to stop playing Basketball and go to physical therapy for over an year. Long story short driver never found filed a lawsuit already had a lawyer at the time ended up sueing and won. I just graduated high school this past June and also just turned 18 this past may which now that im of age i was able to get my lawsuit check which settled for $25k 7-8k was my attorney percentage and the rest is mine which im left with $17.2k. Now I’ve waited about a month to deposit my check which i did on Wednesday because I didn’t wanna be impulsive with my spending I wanted to sit and think before I do because I don’t know when I’ll ever receive another check like this anytime soon. I’m going to school trade school specifically and only have to take out a $13k loan that i myself have to pay i was qualified for financial aid so that did help a lot with that being said i have a couple of questions

• I have 4 accounts
• TD bank checking & savings
• Chase bank regular checking which is a car maintenance fund i save and put money away for a car or my car I’m considering fixing
• Just created a fidelity brokerage account $0 in there as of right now
• I opened up a ROTH IRA & HYSA with capital one
• I also got approved day of my birthday for capital one platinum CC $300 limit

• Right off the bat how much do i keep for myself ? Checkings & savings
• How do i set myself up for the future ?
• Do i spread this across different accounts?
• What do i do with this money ?
• how do I make my money earn money ?

I never thought I’d write something like this, but I guess I need to be honest.

I work a full-time 5/2 job, and recently I started studying IT because I want to build a better future for myself. At the same time, I have my dream car — a BMW X5 50i (F15). I truly love this car. I take care of it as much as I can, even though I don’t have much money to spare.

The biggest mistake I’ve ever made was taking out loans.

Today I have about **$25,800 (2,000,000 RUB)** in total debt. Every month I pay around **$775 (60,000 RUB)** just to cover my loan payments, while my monthly salary is only about **$1,290 (100,000 RUB)**.

Looking back, I honestly don’t even know why I took those loans. Mostly just to live, to buy things I thought I needed, without really thinking about the consequences. It was one of the dumbest financial decisions I’ve ever made.

If you’re reading this and thinking about taking out a loan for things you don’t truly need, please learn from my mistake. Don’t do it. Debt can quietly become a huge burden before you even realize what’s happening.

Even though I’m working full-time and trying to improve my life by learning IT, things have become really hard lately. I’m saving money on almost everything just to make it through each month.

I’ve reached the point where I’m seriously considering selling my BMW. The thought breaks my heart because I genuinely love that car, and I’ve always tried to take good care of it despite my limited budget. But sometimes life forces you to make difficult choices.

I’m not writing this to ask for sympathy. I’m writing because I know there are people here with more life experience than me.

If you were in my situation, what would you do?

Would you sell the car?
Would you keep fighting and try to increase your income?
Or is there another way that I’m not seeing?

Any honest advice would mean a lot to me.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s that financial mistakes can take years to fix. Think carefully before borrowing money. I wish someone had told me that sooner.

I’m a 49 year old male. 3 kids under high school age and a stay at home wife. I’m a bootstrap guy and, honestly, am an American Dream type scenario given my background. That said, I’m tired and really don’t want to continue on my current path.

Current stats:

-49m
-48f spouse (unemployed)
-3 children under 15
-$2.5m taxable and retirement investment portfolio
-roughly $4m real estate portfolio
-roughly $1.1m in debt

I’m currently making $400k+ but the job is killing me and I’m not sure I can handle it for much longer.

No problem with hard work but can no longer handle my current role. What are feasible options for me if i want to quit my job? Are there good franchise opps? I don’t mean to come across as an ingrate but I truly can’t handle the stress of the job I’ve had for close to 13 years and need to switch roles.

My wife and I have no debt other than our mortgage. We have our emergency fund and max out our retirement accounts. We have around $200,000~ in retirement funds and are in our late 20s. We save adequately for our child’s anticipated education expenses.

We are three years into a 30-year (purchased pre-financial discipline) mortgage at 7.375%. We owe right around $100,000. I believe we could pay off the balance in two years with our current budget and saving habits. This is not a “forever” home, but we could definitely live here for another 5~ years.

Would you pay off the house or invest more in the market?

My understanding and of course vary per state and I’m not a lawyer nor is this legal advise is beneficiary supersedes designations of Wills. For all Dave and hosts talk of Mamabear and importance of Will and letting heirs know before you die why isn’t this discussed more? If beneficiary listed on things like life insurance and retirement accounts differs from what’s on Will this could create big surprise/mess when it comes to settle estate. I’d think they would address/discuss this more.

Yes. That is what my husband just proposed. He actually said something along the lines of call Dave Ramsey to ask. Very condescendingly, telling me I should have more money saved as a 45 year woman. He has his own savings account just FYI.

Our 13 year old sweet dog has a cushings and a couple more issues that cost about $500 a month average in medications. Yes I‘ve tried regular pharmacies for cheaper cost- no go. So my husband who thinks our dog is “just a dog” and well, apparently, his meds are not a ‘need ‘and I need to cut out expenses that are not needs, so I can have more money saved. Let’s just forget about the horrible impact that will have on our dog & speed up his end because I need to save more is the gist I’m getting. For the record - no. Im absolutely not canceling my sweet boy’s medications. I just want to hear other’s take on the subject.

bonus - I suggested he cut out his nicotine problem and fast food spending, or money it cost for his boat to go fishing every week instead . His response- “I’m not the one with a money problem”.

Any and ALL feedback is welcome. Thank you.

It happened all at once.

Printer broke, not worth fixing.

Brand new water heater went out

Discovered I have a rat problem

Always something. The good thing is this makes me so happy I follow Dave Ramsey. These are minor annoyances and not budget busters. No meltdown today.

I'm about to have about $25k for my emergency fund this month. That would be a solid 5-6 months for me just living normal without income and barring any other disaster. The 'other disaster' is what scares me. Frankly, I feel I could stay in baby step 3 to $100k+ and still feel insecure. How do I overcome this feeling? I don't trust these jobs at all so I've been trying to insulate myself the best I can.

Hello everyone,

I am very disappointed that financial peace university only gives you one year access. We were watching videos as we checked the boxes that way we kept ourself in the material longer vs binge watching and forgetting. We paid off our credit card and paid off our one loan and we worked so hard to do it. We were excited to log in and do the making money course, but poof it’s gone.

This is so unfair as working through the debt snowfall takes time and it makes it predictors in a way.

Anyway if you read this Dave Ramsey… please give us our subscription back!

Anyway other people here, what do the last two videos talk about?

I understand that an employer-managed pension plan doesn’t have the same control as choosing your own investments. But like, I work for the government and 9% of my paycheque already goes to my retirement. Investing 25% “to be safe” feels paranoid and excessive.

I am in a ton of debt - mortgage, masters degree, car, credit cards, the works.

This past year, I tried to stick to the avalanche method to pay down my largest credit card debt ($20k), to no avail - “emergencies” just kept popping up. Side note: I know that’s not technically the avalanche method but that was my interpretation/implementation of it.

Finally this year I accepted that I wasn’t getting anywhere. So I targeted my smallest credit card debt -$3k, which also happened to be my highest-interest (30% or so). And as of this month, I paid off the last $300 of that card! Woohoo!

It really is so invigorating! I can’t wait to tackle the next one!

Just wanted to share my little victory with others who might understand the struggle.

Since landing my first full time job I've been taking advantage of living with my parents and stacking some money. I went back and maxed out my 2025 IRA and was on a perfect track to max it out once again PLUS maxing out my 401K + $200/week employer match. The issue was that I was putting up with a 3 hour commute, 10-12 hour shifts, 6 days a week, and an extreme lack of sleep. I ultimately decided that my sanity was more important than my finances and I took a massive step and moved out. I figured moving closer would allow me to take back almost 20 hours of my life.

Today is my first full day in the apartment and I took one look at my new budget and I started heavily questioning my life. For months my retirement has been my biggest priority. Max it out while I'm young so that I dont have to worry about it later, maybe even retire a little early. I got it to $20K but unfortunately I think that number will grow much slower going forward.

My gross income is around $18K/month. My rent includes parking and amenitie fee which comes out to $2,216. Unfortunately I can't provide a number for utilities or groceries yet because this is only my second day here. The rest of my expenses (gas, car insurance, renters insurance, subscription) should be around $300/month.

I want to know what you all think. My two biggest priorities are saving for retirment but also saving aggressively to buy a duplex so I can start building equity and getting into real estate which is ultimately my dream. I want to take advantage of compounding for my retirement but I also really don't want to be stuck in an apartment forever.

Any advice helps. I'm sorry for the lack of information regarding expenses. Thank you

Hello!

I'm currently active duty Army (68X, Behavioral Health Tech), E1-E4, under 4 years in. I'm following the baby steps: no debt, written budget, quietly stacking savings. I don't pay rent right now, and I plan to move back home for a bit after I get out in 1.5 years. The logic being to keep stacking while I finish grad school.

I'm using my benefits to fund an MPP and an MSW. Here's where I'd like feedback:

• Transition from AD → Reserves + GS role. I already have a GS series in mind. Do 20 years in both, eventually landing two pensions (one around 50, another after 60).
• Direct commission: Talked to a medical recruiter - I could direct commission as a Social Work Officer after finishing my MSW. If I like it, 20 years active duty gets me a military pension around 50.

Currently single, no kids, but that could change, and I know it affects how AD life-cycle vs. Reserves/GS compares long-term.

I don't have a strong preference between the two.

Hoping to hear from someone ex-military or a neutral third party who's weighed similar tradeoffs.

Ok, so the plan is to get out of debt and stay out of debt. Got it. I have a plan. Mortgage payoff (paying 3X of defined payment) in 29 months. No other debt. At that point, my credit score will start down.

And, from all indications and stories I read, my car insurance rates will start going up. Because they, too, are credit score based.

Is there anything you can do about that?

This is is ridiculous why on earth am I being charged almost $30, when I didn’t even touch the faucet I literally spent the entire month in jail. Nobody was at my apartment so my bill should be zero.! I’m gonna have some harsh words believe me on Monday when I get a hold of who I need to get a hold of, should I contest this like I want to!