u/Royal_Marzipan_6432

Starting a thread! Does anyone know of any good Memorial Day Weekend sales for wedding related items? I ordered invitations and some other things on Black Friday and got some solid deals (60%+ off). My wedding's at the end of June, so if I'm looking for any final decor type things/ last minutes accessories/ wedding party gifts!

Here are the ones I'm aware of so far:

1. Rifle Paper Co. is running 25% off everything and 50% off sale items

2. Michaels is running 30% off everything with the code SPRING30

3. Sola Wood Flowers is running free shipping plus up to 90% off

I feel insane. Post tax, my fiance and I make $13k a month together. This is after health insurance but before any 401k savings. We live in NYC, so the rent for our 1 bedroom is high for the country but below market for the area ($4.5k a month with utilities). After that, we’ve got some wedding expenses each month (deposits coming due, alteration costs,, etc.) that for the past few months have run us about $2k a month. That leaves $6.5k a month for everything else.

I don’t think we live extravagantly (couple of dinners out a month, otherwise cook at home, some travel to domestic cities like Boston that we’ve paid towards this spring). And somehow, at the end of every month, we’re saving like $1k. Our last “good” month was March when we saved $2k. I feel ridiculous and have no idea how 2 people in their early 30s are apparently blowing through $5.5k a month. I keep going through our receipts for the month and there’s no hidden mysterious purchases or anything. Everything tallies. But we should be saving more and we’re not. I discovered Dave Ramsey a month ago and am now trying to figure out the baby steps. I feel so embarrassed.

Edit: Updated the flare to BS4. Thank you all for the advice. We’ll build a budget and try to proactively steer the ship instead of just reviewing spending after the fact. The wedding is this June (less than a month now!), so yes, will be excited for that line item to go away. We don’t anticipate any debt from it and otherwise don’t have any debt. No car or car loan. Again, appreciate it and excited to join this community!

Posting this to warn future brides because I currently want to cry. A year ago, I signed a contract with a day of coordinator. She had seemed nice, organized and had said in our introductory video call that she a) knew our venue and b) would be able to help with decor set up and general day of coordination. I paid her a flat fee of $1.2k.

I’m now less than a month from the wedding and we’re finalizing details. In the last week, I have found out that she herself will not be coming to my wedding. Instead, a member of her (previously undisclosed) team will be. Worse, she has sent me a whole schedule of additional fees for services that I might want performed. These include a $500 fee for any emceeing, a $65 fee for any surprise trips to a nearby pharmacy for last minute items (plus cost per item), “TBD” charges for helping on any DIY projects day of, $300 for any cleaning of the venue before the ceremony (eg. sweeping), and a complete moratorium on moving any floral arrangements (including repurposing them from room to room). This is an excerpt from a full catalogue of item by item services. I’m completely shocked. She never once mentioned any of this and I’m already paying her what I thought was our day of coordination cost for 6 hours.

Basically, PSA to anyone booking a day of coordinator: ask to understand if there are any surprise fees tacked on. Not once did our original contract mention these. I literally cried this evening from shock.

I’m finalizing RSVPs for my upcoming wedding and I have to say I think less of some of my friends after how they responded. We sent our invites out in March, asked for RSVPs this past Saturday (5 weeks before the wedding because our catering numbers are due next Saturday) through link or by mailed pre-stamped RSVP card. On Sunday morning, we followed up with the twenty or so straggler parties to ask them by text to tell us if they were coming by Monday night and what meal preference they had. For a few older relatives, we called.

However, I have several friends (all late 20s/ early 30s) who didn’t reply to the invitation or the text follow up and it’s genuinely making me question our friendship. For context, I definitely have the right phone numbers for them (in some cases they sent me memes even a few days before) and these are people that know about the wedding. I have to say it hurts? Not that they aren’t coming (I understand that people might not be able to make it for a variety of reasons), but the sheer rudeness of the lack of reply. Like, I thought we were close enough that I wanted you there to witness my vows to my future spouse (and was willing to pay several hundred dollars for you and a plus one to eat dinner). I asked for your mailing address, prepared an invitation, mailed it, and then followed up for you personally. You couldn’t even be bothered to send a single “thanks for following up, I’m not coming” text.

My takeaways:

RSVP’ed yes: Amazing, thank you for coming!

RSVP’ed no: No worries at all, we’ll celebrate when we catch up another time!

Missed the RSVP deadline, but replied yes or no in response to my follow up call/ text: Things happen, deadlines get missed, we’re all human!

Missed the deadline, did NOT reply to my follow up text, and you are a person that is under the age of 40 who otherwise has no issues texting or using social media: You’re trash and I think less of you.

I’m finalizing RSVPs for my upcoming wedding and I have to say I think less of some of my friends after how they responded. We sent our invites out in March, asked for RSVPs this past Saturday (5 weeks before the wedding because our catering numbers are due next Saturday) through link or by mailed pre-stamped RSVP card. On Sunday morning, we followed up with the twenty or so straggler parties to ask them by text to tell us if they were coming by Monday night and what meal preference they had. For a few older relatives, we called.

However, I have several friends (all late 20s/ early 30s) who didn’t reply to the invitation or the text follow up and it’s genuinely making me question our friendship. For context, I definitely have the right phone numbers for them (in some cases they sent me memes even a few days before) and these are people that know about the wedding. I have to say it hurts? Not that they aren’t coming (I understand that people might not be able to make it for a variety of reasons), but the sheer rudeness of the lack of reply. Like, I thought we were close enough that I wanted you there to witness my vows to my future spouse (and was willing to pay several hundred dollars for you and a plus one to eat dinner). I asked for your mailing address, prepared an invitation, mailed it, and then followed up for you personally. You couldn’t even be bothered to send a single “thanks for following up, I’m not coming” text.

My takeaways:

RSVP’ed yes: Amazing, thank you for coming!

RSVP’ed no: No worries at all, we’ll celebrate when we catch up another time!

Missed the RSVP deadline, but replied yes or no in response to my follow up call/ text: Things happen, deadlines get missed, we’re all human!

Missed the deadline, did NOT reply to my follow up text, and you are a person that is under the age of 40 who otherwise has no issues texting or using social media: You’re trash and I think less of you.

I started watching Four Weddings while doing wedding planning tasks to help motivate myself and provide some inspiration. For anyone who hasn't seen the show, it's a reality tv competition where four brides attend each others' weddings and rate them. Winning bride gets a free honeymoon.

The show is fun and the episodes I'm watching are from 2012. In the introduction to the brides, they tell you where they're having their weddings (rough geography and sometimes you can actually figure out the venue from the exterior shots) and their budget. It really showcases how much wedding costs have outpaced inflation. Weddings in the NYC area in 2012 that are being shown as $30k (~$43k today) for the whole wedding (presumably including photographer, DJ, etc.) were being held in venues in which the current 2026 food and beverage minimum alone is $45k plus a $10k space rental fee.

I had theoretically known that weddings were getting expensive but got smacked hard by the side by side comparison. It's so weird to watch these past episodes and people are complaining about not enough variety in food stations at cocktail hour as if that was like a fairly ordinary, middle class accessible thing. Today, that cocktail hour alone probably costs about half of my wedding.

My wedding is only a month away now (!!!) and I just placed my floral orders through Sam's Club for bulk flowers that I plan to DIY into bouquets and some centerpieces. I ordered greenery boxes, roses, solidago, alstromeria and delphinium (the delphinium I have only moderate hopes for). Planning to supplement with flowers from a few more sites or maybe Trader Joe's for a bit of variety. After so long lurking on the Costco and Sam's Club websites, it's really all happening. Fingers Crossed.

I’m in the last month before my wedding and recently went down a rabbit hole watching videos from LLG events in NYC. I’m getting married in the Midwest and likely nowhere near these budgets but it’s such a fun peak behind the scenes. Is anyone else watching these? Has anyone actually worked with them and can talk about what the bridal experience was like? I’m so curious.

https://youtu.be/CR7AuSwhYng?si=7P07jtJgmNyButYN

This is maybe a vent but just.. our RSVP deadline is this Saturday and so far 84 of our guests have yet to reply. I know they technically have until the deadline but with so many outstanding I’m envisioning that I’ll need to follow up with like.. 50 ish people, which feels ridiculous. Our invitations were sent out back at the end of February. The RSVP deadline and link are clearly labeled. We’re having plated meals so I need to know meal preferences. This just feels ridiculous.

Has anyone been following the TikToks from this woman (@the_control_code_book) who as of a week ago started a tell all about how she’s divorcing her husband who’s a big law partner? Apparently he’s a litigation partner at a highly ranked firm and they have 4 kids. He’s leaving her for his mistress.

I'm finalizing vendor meal selections and for the first time noticed that one of my vendors (my day of coordinator) has a contract clause that she be seated in the reception room with guests. The only other vendors which would be eating are our DJ (who plans to eat later as they will be doing set up during dinner in another room) and our photographer and assistant photographer who doesn't have this clause and who I anticipated would want to sit in the restaurant attached to the venue.

Do I set up a separate vendor table during the reception for just 3 people? And if so, do I need to decorate it the same way that we would for the other tables? It seems awkward not to but then again that's the cost of another centerpiece ($200 ish). Do I just sit them with guests, knowing that they'll be up and away from the table for part of dinner and all of dancing? Any advice appreciated.

Where is everyone getting their card boxes from? The only decent ones I can seem to find are all the same acrylic ones on Etsy for $100, which seems ridiculous, or heavily DIY’ed ones like mailboxes which I don’t have the time or energy for. Any advice appreciated.

Edit: I think I’ve solved it. Google “suggestion box,” “donation box” or “complaint box” and you’ll get good metal alternatives that lock for only $20 while avoiding the wedding mark up.

My (27M) sister (22F) is graduating college this spring. My parents (60ish M and 60ish F), my sister’s boyfriend (22M) and my wife (27F) are coming to celebrate her and we had been planning to go out for a graduation dinner. Because my parents aren’t well off and because my wife and I pretty strongly out earn everyone there, we’re planning to cover various costs for the whole group (eg. the full tab for that graduation dinner, some planned excursions that weekend, a photographer for family photos, my parents’ hotels).

Recently, I learned that my sister invited her boyfriend’s parents (60ish M and 60ish F) to also come. I’m excited to see them and have met them before but I’m feeling a bit awkward about who will pick up the tab for their additional meals/ activities. I think they’re getting their own hotels. They’re much more established than my parents but they’re also flying and they’re guests. The additional cost would work out to $400ish. In a normal dynamic, I think my parents would be paying for them but here, does this fall to me and my wife? Any advice appreciated. I’m trying to avoid awkwardness or looking stingy but I’m feeling the pinch.