r/nycparents

Hi! First-time mom here, due any day now, and already trying to figure out childcare as 2 full parents with full time jobs. We’re planning to have a night nurse for the first month while I’m on leave, but beyond that, I’m feeling overwhelmed by all the options and costs. When to start looking for childcare for when i go back to work and what the best solution is for our family. Would love advice from other UWS/Manhattan parents!

We’ll need daytime childcare when our baby is around 5 months old. The daycare we’re considering (very basic/standard near our house) costs about $4,100/month, and apparently tuition drops to around $3,900 when they’re 2–3 years old. We know we want another kid (and i know it’s early to already be thinking about this, but i am already in my mid-late 30s and my husband is in his 40s so we were hoping to have them close together). Seeing those numbers is making me question how people afford two kids in NYC, especially if they want them relatively close in age!

A little about our situation:
● I’m an NP with two inflexible clinic days per week. The rest of my work is administrative and I Can work from home 3–4 days a week, but I would still need full-time childcare during those days.
● My husband works in finance and is outside the home.
● We live on the Upper West Side.
I’m trying to figure out whether daycare, a full-time nanny, a nanny share, or some combination of childcare options makes the most sense.
A few questions I’d love advice on:
● Daycare vs. nanny: Is daycare worth it at 5 months, or did anyone find a nanny to be a better option financially or logistically?
● Nanny shares: How do you find families to share with on the UWS? Where do you look, and how does the arrangement work in practice?
● Mother’s helpers: Is this realistic when working from home, or do you really need someone who can independently care for the baby while you work?
● Hybrid care: Has anyone used part-time daycare plus a nanny or babysitter for the other days? Does that actually work?
● Planning for baby #2: How do you make the finances work if you want kids1-2 years apart? $8000 a month seems like a lot! Do childcare costs meaningfully decrease as kids get older, or does it feel like you’re paying a fortune for years?
● Timing and logistics: Did your childcare arrangements change when you had a second baby? Did you wish you had done anything differently?
I realize I haven’t even had my first baby yet and am already worrying about childcare for two kids, but the costs are making it hard not to think ahead! I’d especially love to hear from parents who have been in a similar situation, including what you actually pay for childcare on the UWS and what has worked best for your family.
Thank you!!

Trying to figure out what to do here… as many may know, NYC law requires window guards on every window in apartments with children under 10. They are permanently installed with one way screws, and need permission from landlord to remove.

We had our first baby this summer and have 3 window AC units currently installed in our apartment. When the Superintendant came to install the window guards, he told me that I either need to leave the AC units in the windows year round; or he will install window guards in those windows and will NOT remove next summer. He said that we can’t go back and forth every year to install and uninstall the guards when we do the AC units.

The problem is - the heat in our building sucks and if we leave the AC units in year round, it’s going to be FREEZING in our apartment. But the summers are hot and we def need to be able to reinstall the ACs next summer.

What should we do?!! I assume other NYC families have to have this same issue… any tips?

My SO and I have two kiddos (10,7). We live in Charlotte, NC currently moved from LA about 10 years ago. We have both traveled to NYC without kids multiple times since we moved. We love broadway, food, Chinatown, diversity, the parks, everything. We hope to visit with the kids soon.

We have often toyed with the idea of moving back to LA or NYC.

We bring in combined income of $180,000 a year and have transferable skills. We have about $5k in cc debt total, and our mortgage payment. We would likely find work or be able to bring our work with us wherever we go. We currently own a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath home minutes from their school. There’s lots of greenery around and families that live in this neighborhood. Itd an upgrade from life in LA. But… It’s just… bland!

My concerns are: is it worth leaving our home and this consistent way of living? Would we be struggling in nyc? And then pulling kiddos out of a school where they’ve established routine and friends, cost of living, finding the right place/area to live that are safe and have great school ratings, getting around without a car?

Parents of NYC who have moved from a smaller town and want big city. Please share your advice or suggestions - the good, the bad, the ugly. What do we need to consider? What are some areas to look for when looking to rent a place? Schools? How were the kids? What do you do on the weekends? What’s available during summer time? What are winters like?

Thanks in advance.

Hi there, I’ve read a few threads here about the NY paid family leave opt-in program for freelancers/contractors and had a remaining question.

I’ve been doing various kinds of 1099 work for a number of years but now I’m in a new phase of work where I’m starting a new 1099 job that will be stable (therapist) AND keeping a 20 hr / week W2 job (gives me healthcare but no other benefits, unclear about PFL).

If I sign up for the NY PFL for contractors who have “started a new business, within 26 weeks”, do I have to start an LLC (and get paid for therapy through that) to qualify as having a new business since I’ve been doing other kinds of 1099 for a while? Would I be disqualified since I ALSO have a W2 job even if it doesn’t provide PFL?

Thanks for any advice.

Hello! My wife is due to deliver at NYU Langone, and we’re planning to drive to the hospital when she goes into labor.

For anyone who has delivered at NYU, what’s the process for valet parking when you arrive? Can we pull up to the main entrance, hand over the car, and both head straight into the hospital? Or would it make more sense for me to drop my wife off first and then meet her inside once I’ve taken care of the car? Would love to hear from anyone who’s been through this. Thanks!

Hopefully my pregnancy continues safely, and if so, I'm due on April 2nd. We are first time parents so don't really know what we're in for.

Our lease ends on May 31st. We are currently in a 2 bed/2 bath in an elevator building with laundry in the basement, but the apartment is on the small side- my guess is 800-850 square feet. The square footage isn't a huge issue, it's that the bedrooms are spacious (for NYC) but the living space is quite small.

If it's just me and my husband, we're fine, but ideally I'd like to have another adult around at least sometimes (one of our parents or perhaps a babysitter/nanny) and I imagine we'll get crowded very quickly with 3 adults and a newborn in the apartment at once. Not to mention I don't know where we'd put a stroller (hallway not an option).

Is it totally insane to move to a new apartment when our lease is over on May 31? Assuming I have the baby sometime between the middle of March and April 2nd? Staying a whole other year doesn't seem appealing, but I'm guessing moving with a 6 or 7 week old might not be a realistic option. Are we stuck? Thanks for any thoughts/experience!

Perhaps worth noting we're in Brooklyn and would like to stay in Brooklyn.

Hi! We live in Tribeca and are beginning to plan for pregnancy (1+ year out if we can). I made a general OBGYN appointment at Weill Cornell downtown with Dr. Unsall for next year.

Not to get ahead of myself... but any thoughts on the renovations on the new NYP LMH wing? Or should I move my appointment to an OB at Weill Cornell who has delivering privileges at Alexandra Cohen?

Thanks!

PS 6 Lillie D Blake states on their website that they have an associate teacher in every classroom K-5. AI tells me they have $1.2m annual income from PTA funding, which is double PS 234 in Tribeca. Is having this much money, and having associate teachers unique only to PS6, or do most of the better schools have both of these? How much does this matter to you as a parent?

I love my boy. Dearly. But I do not love his sports sneakers or clothes. It seems like the unbearable stink started over night. And because I’m not a particularly process oriented person, I like to think of myself as more of a creative - I’m not sure how to deal with this?? The smell seems to seep through all the storage bins we have. How in our small apartment can I store these stinky shoes, and where can I put his clothes until laundry day? Help! TIA!