r/weddingshaming

My brother was getting married. I was really close with my bro so ended up very close to his fiance. We were best friends so naturally I agreed to be her MOH.

I had a baby, which my to be SIL loved, I actually made her his god mother. She always talked about how cute he'll be as a ring bearer. This is all just to show how close we were.

For her wedding I did everything she asked, I threw her the coolest bachelorette party. In fact, my son was exclusively breastfed, so my mom offered to pay for two hotel rooms where we were staying so her and my son could be there but totally separate from the party so I could switch rooms to feed the baby. It costed a fortune but was only trouble for me, but my mom helped since it was her son.

Now we'll get to the Bridezilla moment. Her mom threw her a bridal shower a month before the wedding. My son who is now 9 months old, but won't take a bottle, needs to come with me. I was the attentive MOH I played all the games, I did everything, and only stepped away in quiet moments to feed my kid. My mom mostly watched my son who was toddler walking and behaved amazing and everyone complimented him on his behaviour and cuteness. My mom didn't mind because it was mostly the bride's family.

So, near the end of the shower the Mother of the Bride, made a speech. During that speech my son got super excited about something and made some noise. Nothing crazy, and my mom was able to quiet him down right away, I didn't think twice about it. Mother of the Bride finishes her speech. It was a lovely shower.

Two days after the shower I get a text message that my son, is not only no longer the ring bearer but now he's not invited to the wedding. My son who won't take a bottle is not allowed at a wedding where I'm the MOH and it stuck there from 7am to close... I freaked out, what am I supposed to do, plus he has seperation anxiety and my whole family would be at my brother's WEDDING.

So I ask why? What happened? Apparently my son interrupted the mother of the Bride speech which really upset her mom. Plus the Bride would be very upset if he interrupted the wedding in the slightest. So now because my son made a small noise, which took attention for a nano second from the Bride, cannot attend his uncle's wedding. Which honestly I'd be ok with except he didn't take a bottle... What was I supposed to do! I wasn't a regular guest who could just leave whenever they wanted.

Anyway, long story short. My mother in law is amazing, she worked super hard for the weeks before the wedding to get him to take a bottle. Then she hung around outside the wedding so I could breastfed him in-between the ceremony and pictures. Then she took him home. He had seperation anxiety tho so if it got close to bed time he would scream for me. I ended up sending my husband to go get him and I said f to the Bride and brought him to the party after dinner. No woman was worth torturing my kid. Seems like I was right because she became my brother's ex-wife 8 months later...

Update a few points people focused on

• he was 9 months old that's why I wrote 9 months. I used "toddler" to describe the way he walked not his age. The plan was for my husband to bring him down the aisle, more cute and not about effective. This was her plan not mine.

-it caused a huge family rift. My brother was very upset and it caused a huge fight. I tried to quit the wedding. But my mother who had helped me deal with all this crap and is amazing asked me to try and make it work for my brother. My brother was stuck between his new family and his old. He 100 supported me if I wanted to drop out. I didn't for my mom. I would have added this but that part felt more like my family's personal choice. My husband, my mom and my mother in law said they'd do whatever for me and my son to be ok, because they are wonderful.

We are guests at a wedding. We paid a decent amount asked by the bride for a two nights stay. The wedding is in the middle of nowhere. We drove 8 hours to get here and took a day off from work. We paid city hotel rates but ok! We never questioned We wanted to be easy going. But to find out at 12 am when we wanted to go to our room, that we are SHARING IT WITH ANOTHER COUPLE, when this was NEVER COMMUNICATED and is not a general case (only 2 rooms are being shared) is BEYOND MEEEEEE! The other couple was also surprised. I can’t sleep easily when there are people I never met sleeping (or not) on the bed next to me. WTF

Just recapping my shower to get it off my chest. Basically it felt totally chaotic and poorly executed. It was supposed to be outside in a friends backyard but there was rain so it was like weirdly half outside and weirdly half inside, with it being super spread out. The “tent” my mom got was like a small 10 foot camping tent almost, with there being 30 people invited. At one point people were even in the garage?

My mom tried her best but it felt like there was absolutely no structure. I also feel like she heavily relied on me for planning, when I had told her I didn’t want to be too hands on because I have the wedding to plan. But I ended up being super involved and running around like a maniac the day before and day of for errands. To top it off - my friend who was supposed to do games left early because she got in a fight with my future MIL, didn’t hand them off to anyone so the night kind of ended without games either.

The whole thing just felt messy, and there were no moments that felt super special or celebratory of us as a couple. I felt kind of lost the whole time, no one was like guiding me around and saying ok this is next etc etc. I’m pretty disappointed, and don’t feel supported as much by my family as I’d want to be. I definitely have a dysfunctional family, but I thought they would come together for this for me. I find myself getting emotional or anxious at random times when I think about it, which is so upsetting because it was supposed to be a special time. Please tell me someone can relate to this.

My wedding was last year, but I still find myself wondering what actually happened.

For context, this woman and I have been friends since we were 12. We were once best friends, and although life changed and we became less close, I always cared about her deeply.

During the pandemic, she got married and I wasn’t invited. I was a little hurt, but I understood the circumstances, especially because I had previously been honest about not supporting her relationship with her now-husband.

Years later, when I was moving abroad, I invited her to a farewell dinner at my parents’ house. She said she would come but didn’t show up. A few days later she visited me, apologized, and gave me a letter and a gift. I was so touched that I cried because it felt like our friendship still mattered.

After I moved, she got pregnant and we started talking more again. When I began planning my wedding back home, I invited her and told her I completely understood if she couldn’t attend because she would have a one-month-old baby. She insisted she would never miss it. One week before my wedding, I checked again and she confirmed she was coming.

On my wedding day, I realized she wasn’t there. I assumed something serious must have happened because of the newborn. The next day, she sent me a bank transfer as a gift, but no message, apology, or explanation.

I thought maybe something had happened, so I checked her social media after a few days. That’s when I realized she had hidden her stories from me. I couldn’t see anything from my account, but when I checked from another account, she had been posting normally. This lasted for months.

I have no idea why she did this. My only guess is that she went somewhere else instead of my wedding and didn’t want me to know, but what hurts most is that she never sent a single message explaining or apologizing.

Last month, she unblocked me and started liking my posts and stories again. She hasn’t acknowledged what happened, and the interactions feel superficial. Maybe she is trying to reconnect, but I honestly don’t know if I want to reopen this friendship.

At this point, I’m wondering if this was the final straw and if I should just let this friendship go.

EDIT 1: Regarding her husband, I admit that I reacted poorly when she first told me about their relationship when we were teenagers, around 10 years ago. However, I never brought up the subject again after their first anniversary, and I have never had any issue having a conversation with him. We were friends once, and I have always treated him respectfully. In fact, last year I even told my friend that I was happy to see she had such a caring and loving husband by her side.

EDIT 2: I mentioned the influencer in the title because she remained very active on social media in the weeks leading up to my wedding, attending both social and paid events. Since she always seems to have a busy schedule, I assumed she may have had other priorities that day. It was just difficult for me to see her attending so many events while not being able to make it to my wedding or at least send me a small text.

My BIL (26M) and his now wife (28F) decided to get married with less than 2 weeks of planning. Despite having no time to properly plan, a court house wedding was below them. They wanted all 6 of the groom’s siblings and the bride’s sister to be available for a full weekend 3-4 hours away with less than 8 days of notice. One sister cancelled her child’s birthday party, another needed medical permission to travel 38 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I postponed our wedding anniversary trip.

To add to the guest’s responsibility, my BIL needed assistance with every aspect of the wedding. BIL booked a touristy AirBNB and feigned military orders to have the Host overlook the occupancy limit and event rules. My BIL had chosen my husband as his best man, which just meant we were in charge of much of the logistics. Husband hauled the event tables and chairs 4hrs away, did the set up and take down, paid for the rehearsal dinner and handled the BTS of the operation. I did the weekend photography, babysat the kids, helped the bride with her HMUA, assisted in the setup/takedown and helped BIL through the planning. My FIL and his other brother also contributed to see the day through too. The wedding did have a beautiful ceremony and now can be a fond memory, but my husband and I were rushed and separated for nearly the whole weekend.

During the event, the bride and groom had thanked us and made promises of some grand appreciation gesture. In the weeks after, I received a flimsy hair clip and expired sheet mask as a thank you basket that was given to everyone because it also included a QR code to their wedding registry.

Edit: removed the “had to”s from sibling’s plans for that weekend

I accepted being a bridesmaid in an international wedding that’s taking place this fall. I knew it was gonna be costly when I accepted, but it’s just getting a little bit more ridiculous as time goes on. The bachelorette was a destination and it was pretty costly, the maid of honor made everybody bring gifts for the bride on top of already paying for airfare and lodging, and everything else we were doing.

The wedding is in a couple of months and I still don’t know what dress I’m wearing because she hasn’t told everyone yet. I still don’t know what the hotel cost because she hasn’t told us that either. But what we do know is that it’s black tie required so my boyfriend now has to rent a tux on top of airfare, getting a passport and paying for the hotel.

The bride told me that her mother said if anyone shows up not wearing what the dress code is then she’s not letting them into the wedding and that it’s the “least they could do” since she and the father are paying for such an expensive wedding.

I honestly wanted to tell my friend to tell her mom to shove it up her you know where because half the people attending are having to pay for expensive travel accommodations. The LEAST the men can do is rent a tux on top of that?

I really don’t think I’m gonna give much of a monetary gift for this on top of all the other spending we’re having to do in order to even go.

I have noticed this is becoming a trend more often.

But my husband is a groomsman in a wedding at the end of August. This couple is being so specific that they are having all the groomsmen purchase their suits. The couple had the audacity to pick out a $900 white suit. Yes you read that right…white suit. But before you say, you can rent a white suit, yes, they know that, but they decided the color wasn’t quite right and so they needed all the groomsmen to buy the suits. Hence the $900 bill.

The couple offered to help all the groomsmen pay half, but most people could not take them up on that offer considering they know this couple is struggling for money. They idiotically drained their 401(k) to pay for this wedding and then didn’t realize there were taxes and penalties on withdrawing from a 401(k) early, so they had to get a loan to pay that back. A majority of the wedding party can pay for this, but they’re just all pissed because they didn’t plan to buy something that they can wear one day. We could understand a black, gray, or navy suit….but white!!!

To make it even more painful. The suits are starting to come in, and the bride and groom don’t love the color. Not sure what they are going to do at this point.

Moral of the story, I get all these couples have these dreams of these crazy nice weddings. But be considerate of your wedding party and your guests. This is also a destination wedding, in the middle of nowhere so the guests are all pretty livid about that. 4 hours from the nearest airport. There are also a bunch of other little things in this wedding that has a lot of the party upset (think $3k bachelorette/bachelor parties). Requiring all guests to wear only 1 color.

This is more of a vent than anything bc it still pisses me off. And sorry if my English is not that good, not my first language.

So a short time ago I went to a friends wedding. We had not met bride and groom for a long time before the wedding but the bride does not have a lot of friends (different story that one) so I basically stepped up as a “sort of” maid of honor (there where not maids of honor as it’s not that common here)

The couple both know and really like my son who was 3 atm and he is lvl1 ASD. He would interact with people, dance, etc but he needed a little push in to social interactions, as he tends to be distracted.

My friends hired a babysitter for the event, as they where going to be 4 other children (all older, none special needs) and told them specifically about the ages of the children and my sons needs (I know this for sure bc I helped her write that mail with my sons needs)
The vendor responded enthusiastically assuring the bride that the person they would send was experienced with cases as this one and that they where well prepared for it.

The day of the wedding comes and just after the food, the sitter arrives and all the children go and gather around her. My husband and I go with our son.

All the toys and activities she has brought are super girl oriented (which is fine? I guess? Just weird) and all ment for kids much older than 3 and definitely not for a special needs child (think sharp scissors, glitter stuff, small beads, etc)
Anyway I sit my son in the far end of the circle and the sitter doesn’t look at him and sits facing the other children, with her back towards my son totally ignoring him.

We played with him for a while and when she took a small break we approached her and remainded her of our son to which she said “ah yes, yes, I know”
Afterwards, she sat back at the same place and continued playing with the other children.
We ended up leaving the room and played with our son through the venue, with people joining in and had a good time.

Our friends didn’t catch a glimpse of what happened (it was a stressful and had tons of family drama) and where under the impression that that part of the celebration went super well (guess the other children gave good feedback) and we haven’t got the hart to tell them what happened because they would be really upset and sad, specially considering other aspects of the wedding went totally wrong and specially the bride, doesn’t have a good overall experience of that day.

It just pisses me off that they even left good reviews for the vendor and to this day speak kindly of how nice the sitter was

We verbally accepted and immediately booked a hotel because the wedding was 3 hours away in an area we'd never visited before.

Part of the reason we said yes so quickly was because she was constantly posting about how nobody wanted to come to her wedding and how she had no friends or family support. We felt genuinely bad for her.

As time went on, things started getting a bit odd.

I couldn't attend her bachelorette party because I already had a trip booked. She had around 6 people attending, but then made public posts asking complete strangers to come because, in her words, "6 people for a hen party is kinda pants." ... wonder what her 6 friends would say about that.

Worth mentioning she also had a separate European hen trip planned with her bridesmaids. This is obviously not someone without support, but someone with unrealistic expectations.

The official wedding invite then arrived.

• No vegetarian meal option.
• Guests asked to wear a specific colour palette because, as she stated on the invite, she wanted the photos to look good.
• Ceremony and reception at separate remote venues with no parking.

Fair enough, we'll get a taxi.

Except then we were told the landowner didn't want lots of cars on site, so guests will need to use an organised coach instead.

The coach cost about $30 per person. For a journey of roughly 10 minutes. Guests are to fund this themselves. So we will pay $60 as I am going with my husband. It will not cost anywhere near that if we have the option to sort our own transport; carpooling, taxi... For clarity, this is not in the US, just using $ for ease. $60 can fully top up our car!

The invitation itself was incredibly elaborate: multiple pages, ribbons, floral embellishments, tracked delivery, the whole lot. This would have cost essily $10+ each to make. If money was tight enough that guests were expected to cover the transport between venues, surely that's where some savings could have been made? Send digital invites!

In the end we RSVP'd no.

The bride has now asked whether she could have the invitation back because she didn't have the time, energy, or money to make another one for the replacement guest.

I've seen a lot of wedding related requests over the years, but being asked to return my invitation so it could be reissued wasn't one I expected. 🫣

I have now seen a post from her on a local FB group asking strangers to come to her wedding giving sob stories about how she has been let down. It is all very cringey.

I just came across a post of a woman who is begging for funding for her *dream* bachelorette trip. She apparently lost her job 5 months ago and has $100 in her bank account but booked a massive $4k Airbnb for this completely optional party for 12 guests. Now she needs the help of the internet to cover the cost.

How are we affording the wedding if we’re begging strangers for a bachelorette trip??

I went to a wedding this past weekend of a family friend. It was a garden wedding and would probably have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the shoes the bride chose to wear.

The bride is really short, like 5’2” tops and the groom is like 6’4”. Apparently the bride wanted to be on the same level of the groom so she wore what I can only describe as “hooker heels”. They were about 7 inch platforms. Apparently she would wear flats for the garden reception but for the ceremony she was going to wear the platforms.

Now these shoes are problematic under the best of circumstances (walking on pavement or indoors) but the ceremony was taking place in a grassy area. With a fabric covered walk way.

The bride was wobbling, badly, as she was walking down the aisle, but just before she got to the alter, her ankle gave out and she fell. Everyone freaked when the bride didn’t get up right away. Eventually they got a chair and she and the groom did the ceremony seated.

To her credit, the bride stayed for the whole ceremony and reception, but they didn’t do the first dance or father/daughter dance.

Apparently she did break her ankle (my mom found out from the bride’s mother). And the couple had to postpone their honeymoon.

So if you are going to do a garden wedding, do flats or at least sensible heels.