u/Time_Act_3685

I’m gonna start off by saying…my dad & my stepmom certainly have their issues but they absolutely have my best interest in mind and love me dearly/would never do anything to intentionally spite me.

With that being said, I’m feeling mortified & embarrassed. I wore a sage green gown for my wedding. I spent my entire bridal era sending updates to my stepmom, showing her photos OF MY DRESS and me in it etc.

I had asked them multiple times what they planned to wear and up until a week before they still hadn’t send me any photos. She finally sends me a photo of her dress and I shit you not it was a mini MINI cotton beach dress. Our dress code was colorful/funky cocktail. I responded politely and even sent appropriate suggestions for the MOB dresses.

Finally the day comes, and I see them. BOTH in sage green. My dad in a sage green suit and her in a floor length (at least it wasnt mini) sage green satin dress. My dad hadnt seen my dress ahead of time and my stepmom chose his suit for him.

I know they did it to be “cute” and match me. But it was so fucking embarrassing and it was awkward for my Mom, stepdad, and my in-laws, too because obviously they all wore other colors.

Idk I’m just trying really hard not to feel resentful of her for this…I don’t even want to post any photos with them and they’re both VERY into social media so they’d notice lmaoooo. But honestly it just hurt my feelings a lot, and the more I brew on it the more embarrassed I am.

Other than that the day was perfect & magical lol. Also they ended up leaving RIGHT after dinner because she got so hammered :’) rude :)

2 months after my wedding, I'm sitting over here thinking all is bright and cheery in the world when I get a phone call from my brother. He said my mother was angry about my dress and she is going to disown me because I don't have "old fashioned values" anymore.

She's extremely religious and my dress was off the shoulder and low cut. My daughter and I made it and applied 200 silk flowers by hand.

I knew my mother would be disappointed by the dress and gave her a heads up before the wedding that it would be off shoulder. She and my dad chose not to come to the wedding, because of the dress.

Well, I called her after I talked to my brother and it was true. Without talking to me at all, she was going to disown me. IS THIS FOR REAL?? I'm still in deep shock over this.

Update: a lot of requests have come in to post the dress. I posted it in a comment on this thread.

THANK YOU all for your overwhelming support, insights, and thoughts on this. Thanks with all my heart to you all for being there for me when I needed you the most. This has been life-changing! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

In November we're doing a private ceremony and lunch at a botanical garden with only immediate family - parents, our siblings, sibling's spouses and children.

Afterwards (and after naps!!!) we're having a cocktail/dessert reception at our neighborhood wine bar. Charcuterie, cake, beer, wine, fancy coffee drinks, and sake tasting. This is basically "open house style" from around 5 or 6 until 10pm, for any friends or extended family (and honestly anyone in the neighborhood) who want to come.

Now, we live in a popular vacation area (especially in the Fall), but we did assume the reception would really only be our local friends along with the immediate family already coming in. Our other friends and family are spread all over North America, and we honestly do not expect *anyone* else to come out for such a short and casual event...but we've heard from several that they absolutely want to. Which is fantastic!! We'd sincerely love that!

But I'm not sure how to approach it both invitation-wise, and expectation-wise. With the few people we've told so far, we've been very upfront about "Here's what we're doing, it's very small, very short, and far away. We just wanted to let you know because we're excited!"

Should we stick to word of mouth/text/email with that basic message? For those who still want to come, should I send a list of hotels, activities, and restaurants, but stress that there won't be anything else formally arranged for that weekend? Make a website with that info and include it with the initial text, or wait until they express interest first?

(Formal mailed invitations/announcements are not an option, and I'm not really a fan of evites because I've had so many of those get lost over the years. And we do NOT want gifts *or* money, or for people to in any way think we would like gifts or money!)

Basically we don't need RSVPS other than a general idea of who is going to try to come out, don't want gifts, and are trying to keep it as simple as possible for both ourselves and our people.

Any suggestions, advice, or thoughts on the general plan would be much appreciated!