Is this good for a beginner/intermediate novel writer?
Chapter 1: Black and White
I apologize for not including that in the actual page.
This is the first chapter I've ever made of my story to completion. I'd be interested to hear what I did good and what could use some polishing. If something is really that bad, do tell, but try not to be rude. I think that's all I can ask for.
Fun questions to answer if you'd like:
Joseph is supposed to be a plot device to challenge Malachi's thinking. Is it poorly implemented or is that okay? He's not going to be a main character.
Malachi does tend to repeat his take on justice. I believe it's important to his character as its his overall flaw. This flaw carries further throughout the story. It's not gonna revolve all around it, but it's what makes him human. But, do tell if it's excessive. If not, I'm keeping it.
Is the story going by too fast? I can admit that, within 12 traditional sized novel pages, it does seem to go by quickly. However, I'm still getting myself into many books (Mistborn, Name of the Wind, Rage of the Dragon, etc -- suggest some if you'd like) so I'm not sure just how slow it should be. I could maybe explore further into Malachi and Joseph's history maybe? Dunno. It all depends.
What's one thing I should keep in mind that'll keep my writing on top of its game? If it's a flaw I prove to have, tell me about it. If I don't have any strong, visible flaws, then just tell me what to look out for.
How's the hook?
And, of course, point out grammatical errors.
I hope this finds the right people and I surely do hope that you find some enjoyment in my writing.