Genuine frustration
I have been following Neville for a few years now with some small successes. What is utterly frustrating to me is that when I give zero effs, I see how some things have manifested in my life. Literally just by thinking that would be cool. In terms of my career I have such a strong self concept that I can achieve anything, when I genuinely decide it’s mine, I go after it (and take action too). I got into a highly competitive role, made a business, I can do it all. I genuinely feel like I can do whatever I want and be successful when I decide it.
Where I’m stuck and losing the will is in my love life. I find when I make a conscious effort to manifest, things just stagnate. Nothing happens. For months. As much as I want to ‘persist’, the experience last months and with time just makes me think nothing is happening. And now I made an effort just to stop trying to force anything, my whole romantic life has crumbled within one month. I’ve been single a long time and have been dating. Two guys treated me like absolute sh*t. Prioritising other women, ghosting me. The guy from earlier in the year that I dated for 5 months and took on holiday(!) I randomly found out through a Facebook post who lives the other side of the country, was cheating on me the entire time with loads of other girls. I know the issue is self concept and I do try and work on it but I am now in a spiral where I feel utterly awful, I can’t do action in the same way I can in my career and I have no idea how I turn this around and pull myself out of this headspace. I really liked one of the guys and he literally changed personality. I need help 😭 I also have this weird brain process that when I try to detach someone, my brain is going, that’s cos you want him! And that defeats the whole purpose. Any inspiration, hope or guidance greatly appreciated. Thank you.